Excerpt for A Taste Of My Thoughts Christmas Tree by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

A Taste Of My Thoughts

Christmas Tree

By Steve Lake

Copyright 2017




Smashwords Edition 2017

Published by Steve Lake

Copyright 2017 Steve Lake




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Christmas Tree

Copyright 11-20-2016

Steve Lake


It's close to Thanksgiving

So Christmas is here

Begin your pagan rituals

Shoot a reindeer, I mean deer


The radio stations are converting

Your favorite music is being shunned

Over and over they play

Noel until I am bummed


I head out on a mission

A Christmas tree my chore

So for the next two weeks

I pop into every store


Every year it is the same ritual

Comparing fake to real

My finances in a struggle

It is all just too surreal


It was a bad month to give up drinking

Going sober is not the thing to do

Having to deal with all of these people

And most of them are rude


I listen to the salesman

Spilling his guts on each fake tree

Always coming back to the same old question

That price for that tree!

How stupid do you think I be?


40 dollars versus 600 dollars

Math was never my strong suit

But when they added that extra zero

I almost had to puke


So to relax my brain

I'm now looking at Christmas lights in the rain

I started drinking again

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Are you feeling my pain?


Through foggy windows I noticed a tree

It was in my neighbor's yard right next to me

It was raining so hard now

It was perfect time not to be seen


I grabbed another drink, doubled of course

Ran into my garage and through my tools I sort

There is my battery operated saw

It's as quite as a mouse when used

No one will hear me at all as I assault their tree with abuse


I hatched a plan deep within my altered mind

I will cut it and run dragging it from behind

I'll take through the other neighbor's yard

To leave a trail marking them a victim of a crime


Then up the alley

Oh shit I fell

Busted my bottle

My head starts to swell


Damn I have no time to relax

I have to escape like Santa with his sack

So into my garage with my loot

Pushing the button on the garage door

So I no longer have to scoot


The tree in their window

Is a dead ringer for the one in the neighbor's yard

I will have my new tree up and decorated

Before I open up the blinds now safe

To be viewed from afar


I sit in the warmth and shade of my tree

Sipping on egg nog spiked perfect for me

Watching the police sort through the mess

Sticking my head out the front door

Wishing them all a Merry Christmas


The wife and kids finally return home

Admiring the tree so perfectly adorned

I sit at the piano singing out of tune

Singing Christmas carols like a loon




The wife tells the neighbor's I was drinking again

Please forgive my husband for his embarrassing sin

I stumble outside wearing a Santa suit

Told my wife to bend over

Santa has a toy she needs to sooth


Damn I forgot the cops were still there

They could smell the alcohol in the air

Then I bent over and showed them the moon

They gave me a beating

That present came too soon


They carried me home

Tucking me into bed

Said I was a bad boy

And wacked me in the head


Morning came too soon

I dragged out of bed

The wife was serving lunch

Which equals I am dead


I try to have the Christmas spirit

But the radio stations beat it to death

Damn I miss Thanksgiving

A simple turkey and the wife does the rest!


If you have enjoyed this poem, please take a moment and reward me with a review on the smashword.com page where you downloaded it from. Thanks Steve



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