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The following book that you have downloaded for FREE isn't your
typical E-Book from Kennie Kayoz nor is it a typical E-Book that you
would normally find being released by Coyotes Publishing, the
following E-Book is a mix of poetry that both rhymes and doesn't
When Shane first stepped into poetry a while back he
wrote to have a Emotional Outlet, however as of March 1st 2007 he's
actually been debating about putting the pen down and never writing
again because at times he feels that he has nothing more to say
although with this one last attempt at seeing if he has anything left
inside him you will see through the following pages of this
I guess you can call this E-Book classic's reborn even
though each and every bit of poetry that you read in this E-Book is
not old, but it certainly is new.
I hope you enjoy it, be sure
to give it a rating and leave your comments about it as Kennie Kayoz
as well as everyone else at Coyotes Publishing are interested in what
you have to say in regards to this.
comes down to everything the emotions expressed by Kennie Kayoz can
be a mix anger emotions and confused emotions and any other emotions
that gets conjured up inside of him.
Hope you enjoy
Just Don't Listen
Why is it that some people just don't
No matter how hard you try they just won't.
You try to
help them out and help them cheap.
But yet they won't listen.
tired of trying to help people like that.
of tossing in my own hat.
help out, trying to show that I care.
help but just ignore them when they ask.
want to scream at them when they do.
want to show them that they need to just shut up and listen.
claim that I'm too fucking pig headed an always want my way.
an take alook at the one who is saying it.
don't understand anymore.
So if you choose not to listen then I
choose not to suggest.
matter what I won't get the anger off my chest.
It seems like I'm trapped.
struggle for people to listen to this kid.
some reason they don't.
I don't know anything.
fact I know more than they want to believe.
I'm the one you want nothing to do with.
mean I can't help.
means that they don't want me to help.
want to scream at them.
then they'll listen to me.
Perhaps then they'll see what I'm
But only if they want to listen.
guess they don't want to listen to me.
they want to listen to me.
If they did then things would be
Just Dont Know
At times I just don't know what to think.
don't know what to do with myself.
I feel as
if everything that I have done with myself is wrong.
playing the same record, listening to the same song.
don't know anymore because it seems that everything that I do makes
really happy an what does make me happy, I just don't know.
of myself in everything that I do.
always lacked in confidence with everything.
know where to turn, I don't know where to go.
confused, I just get yelled at day in a day out.
Do I want
to release my anger, I just don't know if it'd be a good thing.
always kept things on the inside, which I never know what to do.
never really do know what I want in life, I just never really
Why is it that I'm just confused all the time, not bein
able to answer the simplest of questions.
I just am
unsure of everything, I'm just unsure of it all...
know where to go I don't know who I am.
I just don't know
Why is it that I'm always stressing out as of late.
Why is it
that stupid people make me so irrate.
don't understand why these things happen.
At times I
think I have things figured out only to turn another corner and have
solve anything that comes my way.
I just sit and wait for things
As if I'm unaware of the fact that I dislike what's
I just am
so unsure of what I maybe doing.
I sit and
stare and not move, I barely breathe.
I hardly make a noise, I
never really do understand.
and wonder where is my life taking me.
really follow my dreams, or should I let them die.
really matter if I talk.
Why is it
so important for people just to yell at me.
just become a mute.
Do you really think anyone would care about
Or am I
just walking around with a bullseye on my chest.
Unaware of what
choice may lead me to death.
uncertainty, does it really matter.
Sometimes I feel so alone in my mind.
Like I'm a star
that never got my chance to shine.
the feeling of love.
feeling alone as I sit alone.
In a house so quiet.
emotions always having a riot.
what I should feel.
like nothing ever does work for me.
things go through my mind.
everything does seem fine.
if I'm around people or not I always feel alone.
ever feel the total opposite.
Is there a
void in my life that I need to fill.
there is something I really want to do with my life an I'm lacking in
Frustrated With Life
my life have to be this way.
Why is it that everything bad always
comes this way.
could understand why I always got dumped on.
Parents of my,
Parents of friends...
like I'll be dumped on till life has signalled the end.
If I was
layin upon my death bed would it really stop.
really apollogize for putting me there before my heart stops.
Or would I
go into the after life thinking that nobody really gave a fuck.
to myself that I really didn't know what to do with my own life.
look at myself I can only wonder what was the cause of her choosing
to be my wife.
really going through the same shit that I am.
Or is it
what really is ment to be.
I wish I could forsee.
future an find out what's really going to be.
How will I
end up, how will I spend up my life.
last coin of life gets used up.
Will I be the same man I am now or
will I be bruised up.
know till my time has came an gone.
going to be over drawn.
know anything till it's too late.
though the smallest things seem to make me irrate.
fuck is wrong now.
not one thing it's another, so how
Do I fix this problem or isn't
it on my end.
It has to
be, it's never on there side don't you understand my friend.
matter how many calls I make.
ever amount to the stress I have for fuck sakes.
When do I
ever get the chance for things to work.
never know when I'll have a connection and when I won't.
never know what I'll need anymore.
not one thing it'll be another.
always a consistant bother.
this trouble actually stop.
have to format for things to work again.
things continue to get shitty.
grows do I get all spitty.
spit at everything that doesn't go my way.
knowing if something may go my way or if something should flop.
Gettin My Write On..
Walking up all laughin an happy when the
pen hits the paper my mood changes.
You don't want to get on my
bad side as you'll quickly see that my anger has various ranges.
I may look
friendly up front but when you have my pen to the pad.
want to fuck with me, from nice shy to don't make me mad.
gettin my write on don't be saying anything wrong.
from me next will never be “the same song”
that I have no equal.
But all my
writings are linked by my life,it's my life sequal.
big things for myself anytime I release.
upon millions need to read these words.
true it's my pen that is mightier than the sword.
laced with just that much more frustration with one thing or another.
I even get violent that won't even bother.
that I have to say if it wasn't for the words in my mind.
have grown up normal an kind.
though silent I'm deadly.
doctors will tell you that I'm not all there mentally.
One Year Ago
One year ago you killed my father by thinking you
could jump a yellow.
off with a broken leg an continue to be mellow.
Father have a chance to walk out, no not a single chance.
speeds between the two, no chance for any resistance.
been a year an now I'm forced to live without a Dad.
You never had
the balls to send a fucking card to show your sympathy.
have been drunk as fuck.
Either that or your so fucking pathetic
that you just plain fucking suck.
Having to live the rest of my
life with only one parent.
When speeding up on that yellow you
weren't sure of it.
If I had the chance I would beat your
To teach your fucking bitch ass a lesson for pressing
down on the gas.
Never once had the chance to survive.
had a chance to be revived.
Now I look down at the spot in which
we buried him.
Knowing what I have to live with for the rest of my
Knowing that I'm forced to tell my kids they'll never meet
there grandfather at any time in life.
Having it slapped in my
face anytime I go anywhere seeing families so happy.
loving each other at one time I thought so sappy.
Now I can't do
anything more than sit an glare.
Saying "fuck off" when
Christmas time comes around, just wanting to be alone.
realization of loosing him is always swimming around my dome.
to work just a stone throw away from the scene.
Damn near in tears
every time I look at it, but having to deal with it to make the
The only thing that was pushing me was wanting to do it for
Then wanting to be just as good as him, but knowing that
those thoughts will be slim.
Having to deal with a ton in a
half of shit no matter where I go.
Writing off 2006 because of you
fucking up the end of my 2005, now look how slow.
Things went for
me, not working for damn near a year.
Takin care of my wife with
the broken leg, just like what you had but yours you deserved.
wish I could just grab life's remote and reversed.
Go back to the
time so it wouldn't have happened.
Know that right now I would
still have a father and my wife could have gotten to know him.
so than just a few times that she did meet him.
I now know
that I just don't want anything to do with Christmas.
I don't want
to open gifts I don't want to put up a tree or do damn thing.
leave it alone, it means nothing but bad memories.
Burn the tree,
never send out the cards, never do anything.
It may mean things to
others an religions may have different meanings for it.
CHRISTMAS = SHIT.
more nothing less.
I want fuck all to do with the holiday
I want you to give me a billion fucking reasons.
you did what you did.
Tell me why he's not here right now.
me why he won't meet any of his grandkids.
why I been through the worse year of my life.
Having to deal with
that an look at my wife.
Laid up in bed with a broken leg.
having to take care of her.
Us having to put our lives on
While you continue to grow old.
But yet I never will see
my own Dad, but I hope that you have fucking nightmares.
night I fucking hope that it haunts you at night.
you to wake up an scream at the sight.
Knowing the type of shit
you have fucking caused.
I fucking hope that you have to deal with
Knowing that you have made me loose countless hours of
sleep at night.
Shaking thats fucking right shaking no doubt in
Having to go through the rest of my life.
just a mother an my wife.
Knowing she will never meet my Dad other
than those 3 times she did.
Now I'm forced to try an explain my
When I get all quiet having to explain why when there
are no reasons.
It's nothing more than like having an un-cure-able
Being the Doctor to tell his patent that they don't have
much time to live.
My shakes turn from night to day time as well.
hunting with my wife, shaking in the car an can't explain.
knowing how shitty my fucking life is, knowing that I'm nothing.
Wants Me To be Fake
she wants is that fake shit in me.
She doesn't want me to even be
but bitching and complaining about every little detail.
How I'm no
good in various ways.
Knowing that I'm useless every other fucking
I don't know what to do with myself because all I do is sit
in the dark.
If I was a dog I'd do nothing but bark..
my frustrations with noise.
Instead of spending my time playing
No wonder why I sit here with the darkness all
My face always got a constant frown.
I never am happy
Perhaps I should let the alcohol pour.
Be drunk like
all the fuck up relatives that claim they're related to me.
then they'd like me and want something to do with me.
after shot after shot.
POP, POP, POP
Would they be happy after
cause they'd still be talking behind my back.
Murder The Major Influence
Now tell me how are we suppose to
take the murder charges seriously.
You kill somebody and you get
locked up and charged with all these degrees.
murderers in the world get away with it Scott-free
Castro... many other higher forms of power get away with it don't you
The thought of being locked away for a life for taking a life
seems hazy to me.
If it was suppose to be a real charge then they
should have been locked away.
They've killed more people than you
can imagine, but they're out running the countries.
I never could
understand the power that is hidden behind the president.
seems strange, strange to me that they could do it and walk around
with a smile.
What they don't realize is what they've done is
Taking millions of lives.
Innocent an not.
other people to pull the trigger an hear the shot.
They call it
They hung Saddam cause of all the gruesome shit he did.
mistake in my eyes.
Retaliation isn't far from a surprise.
Manson killed people, they got him LOCKED UP.
That was way before
my time an he's still locked up and living.
the killing you must stop it on all fronts.
Not just in the
streets but world wide.
the world will end with death.
Truly not the intentions of us
Truly not the thought of everyone who is
Murder Major Influence.
To lead by example is the
best way to do things.
If the major influence continues.
the small people will too.
enough to stress me out.
want to constantly to scream and shout.
know where to turn for help so I usually just write.
artists but this doesn't end up as a sound bite.
I feel as
if I've wasted my life.
Here I am sitting as 25 with nothing to
show other than a wife.
struggling to pay bills.
seem to have alot of spills.
ever going my way.
knowing what to do or what to say.
I've wasted my life an had to put everything on hold for a year
of work for a year who would want to hire me.
getting to the point of nobody seems to inspire me.
anything I look at it that they've done alot more.
have, an that's why I'm sitting here all poor.
to mention I'm also sore.
deal with my life the way that I have.
ever goes the way that I want it to.
I'm always blue.
know how much longer I can do this I'm getting frustrated with
like when I get up it's yet again the samething.
bullshit morning, afternoon and night.
becoming a real fright.
what lays ahead of me as I go through each day.
what I do it seems as if I can't change it.
more and more shit.
want to do is complain about the way I do things.
other aspects of my life, but since when are there lives so fucking
aren't perfect, not saying that I want to live the perfect life cause
that's a pipe dream.
for once I would like something of mine to work out.
that I would have to do nothing more than drop out.
than I did from high school knowing that shit wasn't for me.
that I had to get out of that place to set my own life free.
deal with the shit back then an nothing has fucking changed.
same kid, same fucked up voice with thoughts that are nothing less
don't know what the hell else to do.
Get Ya Write On – Part #2
whole world shake.
that it wasn't even a predicted earth quake.
serving up a real dish of poetry.
than them bitches who don't understand the concept of the word.
it's all said and done Shane Diamond is the one you heard.
that he's the one whose just melting the world with the hot words.
the words and poppin off his issues all in one without using the
Pass me a
give you a rhyme that'll make you think.
unlike anythin you have ever read.
point you can consider that pen dead.
I made it
bleed to get my words out.
nothing for me to kill of pens, make them bleed for my life.
death others learn what's on my mind.
The Unwanted Feeling
where I go I seem to get the feeling that nobody wants me around.
they're all happy an laughin but I see through that to the true
Why is it
that they just dont' tell me that they don't want me around I already
like it's a big secret to me, it's not like it'd have an affect on
me, I guess it's sorrow.
it's going to have a bigger impact on me in my syposid young life.
knowing what to do when I feel unwanted since the feeling seems to be
me so fucking nuts it caused me to shave my hair.
the ability to get up and out in a hurry.
having to give a fucking worry.
was said or what I did.
probably be best for them to be rid.
Of me so
that they wouldn't have to worry.
someone like me so that they wouldn't have a blemish on there
guess I'll just always have this feeling of being unwanted no matter
where I go.
I guess I
might as well try to make myself get use to it.
blackness that consumes me.
blackness that assumes me.
thinking that what they see before themselves is something they know.
blackness continues to grow upon me just like the darkness continues
to swim in hell.
into hell quicker than tears pouring out of someones face.
knowing that what they've done is a total disgrace.
world around them however they feel as if things are just fine.
continue to pour themselves another glass of wine.
one more for the road it'll do me no harm I feel good.
be when your as stiff as wood.
they have to scrape your body off the concrete
your friends saying “Remember him, he was really neat”
when your time is going to stop.
whoring yourself out for just one more cock.
you would have chose one less.
you just made a choice.
the virus known as AIDS.
and he passed it onto another.
your fault even though to him it was no bother.
another disease is killing off the population slowly.
shall wish you would have chose someone different.
never seen it coming just like many.
sees it until it's too late.
too late then you'll be irrate.
you had that choice back again.
don't, because the darkness has consumed you.
The Forced Feeling.
anywhere I go I'm being forced to do something I don't want.
claim different things but they all want me to do something to make
they know that it's killing me on the inside anytime it's brought up.
realizing that, they continue to ask me to do so.
askings change to them forcing me more and more.
what's next to be in store.
If I can't
do it I can't talk normally and probably can't eat either.
never understand why I don't want to.
no matter how much I explain they don't care.
nothing more than to have the power over me to crumble.
that once I had ahold of my life then I fumbled.
scream that I need help in there eyes.
times I just want to leave.
wanting to believe.
this so called family get on without me.
I feel like praying to be taken away.
another land is what I would like so that I wouldn't have to worry.
shit that goes on with it.
things go back to “normal” will things really be any different.
it, this shit will still go on because we'll never beable to get
wanted to see this day but it seems that everyone is coming down on
want anything to do with a world like this.
Why is it that whenever I go back to the
place that claims it's my home I feel unwanted.
I'm more loved elsewhere but I'm not.
being pushed out of one house and not into another.
feel as if nobody truly wants me around.
I wonder if I will ever feel like I'm ment to be.
Or will I
continue to feel this way even after me an Jessica are moved in
nothing seem like home to me.
everything have the feeling of wanting to push me out.
things ever change will I ever feel wanted in a house.
I just realize that I'm stuck in a cage like a mouse.
feeling like I'm pushed out, of one since it's not where I should be.
looking for spots to hide when the voices get angered.
looking for a spot to cry when the anger gets turned toward me.
this really the life that is here for me, can't it really be
Sometimes I think that it can't be changed no matter
wanting to run away and never come back.
looking back at what it was.
knowing what to say or wanting to put life on pause.
of me is quickly realizing that I'm here for nothing more than to be
over and over as life goes on.
Feeling Of Failure
Everytime I see hits on my counter I always
think that nobody is really coming to the site for my writing.
know they're just coming for other reasons to get information about
Our Pets or Tools that we speak of.
matter how hard I try no matter how hard I struggle it's always
many talents and to help one is a talent that I'm good at.
help myself achive something that I have been dreaming of, is
something I am not.
something that I feel that I'm failing if it was my job it would put
me into the mud.
put me onto the streets with nothing for me or my family.
as if nothing is working it's way in my favor and I hope that
It is the
winds of change that I continue to hope to blow my way.
all the hits that have brought into the site and bring back the hits
for what is mine.
to help us get our writing reconized.
of getting things up in the air quicker and quicker.
it that the feeling of us failing is forever looming amongst us.
is it that when ever we choose to adapt something and feel good about
fails, it never takes off the way we think in our minds.
that what we think is something that we know doesn't exsist.
never know what to do, I never know where to turn.
How is it
possible for the dream of one family to go up in smoke.
us to choke.
How is it
that we constantly feel failure.
someone like me always get so confused.
where to turn or which direction to take.
things but I always seem to fall in the same pit.
I look for
direction but I never get anything except for shit.
everything I can possibly think of to allow myself the freedom of
what I want to do.
seems that it just sinks me down lower, deeper even blue.
haven't decided what I really want to do with my life.
chosen the one who I want as my wife.
to spend my life doing is something that'll remain a mystery.
that everything I try I come down a failure don't you see.
I try hard
to do what I do and make myself known.
as far as I'm concerned I won't be thrown.
dreams what they maybe at that time.
though at times my poetry doesn't rhyme.
tried everything under the son in order to keep.
from getting down in a heap.
thinking that I have gave up my last drop.
though at times I feel as if all I do is flop.
Where do I
turn when I get to this point in my life.
Am I the
one whose holding back my wife.
Or do I
continue to sit here and look at the fact that I'm just a confused
the shell of another broken man.
piece I should continue to find.
through my whole life I shall remain blind.