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Poetic Savior

by Kennie Kayoz

Copyright 2017 Coyotes Publishing

Smashwords Edition


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Angels Round Me



If you try to bring me down.

Don't you ever come around.
I got no space in my life for negative vibes.
I need more angels round me.



I need someone who bring me happiness.
Not someone that when I see my mind turns into a complete mess.

With all them losers who keep tryin to run my life.

Stressin me to the point of me wantin to run for the knife.

The drama at this home is always too much for me.
Any chance I get, I try to leave it to hopefully set my mind free.



But it seems that just leaving this place just doesn't do it.

More and more I feel as if the drama follows me.
Hanging over my head like a dark cloud constantly raining down.

Oh God why is it that the life keeps raining bad things on me.

I can't even see if there is any light in front of me.



If you try to bring me down.

Don't you ever come around.
I got no space in my life for negative vibes.
I need more angels round me.



- Kennie Kayoz -


Theater Of Death



I'm in the movie theater trying to watch a movie.

Your gabbing with your friends about every second of the flick.

I kindly ask you to be quiet you stop for a few.
Only to esculade it after I sit down and you count to two.

You lean forward with your drink.
My elbow flies back, knocks it over, you want to cause a stink.

You stand up and become “Mr Tough Guy”.

Before you finish your sentence I punch you in the throat.

Ooo can't talk now, you think that's all she wrote.

While your bent over gasping for breath.

I stab you in the fucking neck.

So I can see the blood fucking squirt.

I sit you up in the very front row bleeding.



There is nothing you can do for this.

I know I'm going to hell cause of this.

But soon as I rid all of you, I can enjoy my movie in peace.



There is nothing you can do for this.

I know I'm going to hell cause of this.

But soon as I rid all of you, I can enjoy my movie in peace.



I maybe forced to closed my theater.

Since management feels that I'm going about this all wrong.

Until it's your money you've spent only to have it runied.

Then you'll want to join my service.

Eliminate the ones that cause this before they get the chance.

Here comes another one.

A Lady with 3 kids, a cell phone in hand.

Sorry kiddies but Mommy isn't surviving this.

First we chop the hand off that has the cell phone.

I'm not done with her, let me slap her head with a stone.



“Rambles in another language”

“Turn your cell phone off please”

“Rambles in another language bout not understanding english”

“Hang the fucking phone up NOW I SAY !”



She's sat next to the other asshole, both left for dead.

Also both of'em bleeding from the head.



There is nothing you can do for this.

I know I'm going to hell cause of this.

But soon as I rid all of you, I can enjoy my movie in peace.



There is nothing you can do for this.

I know I'm going to hell cause of this.

But soon as I rid all of you, I can enjoy my movie in peace.

Kennie Kayoz



The poem was inspired by two things:
1 – Insane Clown Posse's – To Catch A Predator – From Bang Pow Boom
2 – A Bad Movie Going Experience



Hope y'all can relate.. if not.... TOO FUCKIN BAD



Happy Ending
(This poem was inspired by a song done by Tech N9ne & Krizz Kaliko which was the same name)



What about me? Where is my happy ending?
What about me? Is this a life worth living?
You know how it begins, but how does it end for me?
Will I ever win, or does he have it in for me?
Will this stop before I stop breathing?
Is their a light, in this dark I'm seein?



I've been ready since grade nine for my life to stop.

Wonderin which side would take me as I got my soul to shop.

I still feel as if I'm destin to suffer.

Would anyone come to see this rotted dead corpse of a motherfucker.

Still wondering what life is about.

Too scared to open up my heart as for this I doubt.

Anyone will want to stay with me.

If they knew what really went on everyone would set me free.



What about me? Where is my happy ending?
What about me? Is this a life worth living?
You know how it begins, but how does it end for me?
Will I ever win, or does he have it in for me?
Will this stop before I stop breathing?
Is their a light, in this dark I'm seein?



I stare at knives thinking this maybe my time.

If something changes my mind, I turn to rhyme.
I drown my pain in words.

As my voice is never heard.


- Kennie Kayoz -

The writing in italics were done by Tech N9ne & Krizz Kaliko for the song that is on the CD entitled Killer... so please buy the album:

http://strangemusicinc.net/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=SMTNS&Product_Code=KILLER08&Category_Code=CDS

This poem called Ups & Downs was inspired by a music video by the Canadian Hip Hop Artist known as Classified who have inspired both myself & my fiance Jessica.. You can check out the video here:
http://www.ClassifiedOfficial.com

(just scroll down and you'll find it)

Also if you like his music be sure to pick up his album which dropped (March 22nd 2011) called: Handshakes & Middle Fingers

Ups & Downs

I got too much on my mind.

I know my health is on a constant decline.

My rhymes don't come together so nicely.

They seem to come out of me choppy and splicy.

I'm loosing it I can't connect the missing w____

Feeling more and more stressed thinking I need to write more so people know there's something going on.

But when the time comes I have trouble putting my thinking cap on.

Jessica is the only thing that seems to make sense in this crazy world.

But even she's loosing her steps.

Not walking the same path she once did.

Both of us feeling that we should have let the razor slid.

We're here now, invested so much time & money into what we have.
Still trying to keep our heads afloat so we're not living out the trash.

My mind is constantly stuck on 4E and the ideas keep coming.
Just not enough time in my life for everything that I see running.

Having trouble sleeping at night.
My mind won't turn off and it's keeping me awake.

Sleeping pills don't work, they seem to make my body do some weird things

Now I have a constant pain in my mouth.
Feeling like all I do is chew on my cheek till its raw

I have very little “ups” in my life and what I consider “ups” most would consider pathetic.



- Kennie Kayoz -



Society

I've always been so sick of society.
It always portray these perfect little beings that get into life.
While the rest of us must sit out from the good things and rot.
Slowly from our brains to our teeth.
Just rotting away in hopes of getting chosen for this game of life.
Like playing tag and always being picked last or never at all.
If your not perfect you don't fit into societies rules.
The ones who look different have to do awful things.
Putting themselves in positions they wish they could drown out.
Selling there bodies in ways that can't even be dreamed.
Society has raped many innocent lives.

- Kennie Kayoz -



Self Inflicted

It started back in 9th grade when everyday I just wanted to take my life.
Never had anything going for myself never once thought about a wife.
I just had to leave this torment I just had to get the fuck out.
The stress an anger was buildin up just wanted to whip the gun out.
Slaughterin the victims who have continued to cause me the pain.
Showing the ones who truly was fucking insane.

It never stopped, I couldn't shake the past.
Now it's another sort of torment that I can't get away from.
Anger & Rage run through my system at full throttle.
Unlike many I don't consume from the bottle.

All this pain in life is how I live.
What the fuck do I have ta give.

You've realized that your life has been self inflicted.
Your actions towards me continue to remain negative.
Until the day that I become part of the earth.
From the moment that you have given birth.
It seems that I was the pain that was always brought forth by you.
You continue to run your mouth to family stating how you've always been proud of me.
When you look yourself in the mirror at night what do you see ?.
As the lies are now facin you an everything that you've built up.

No way in hell that you can ever run from this.
What the fuck are you going to do now that this pain is fully on you.

- Kennie Kayoz -



Depressed

I feel so depressed.
I wish I knew what would make me feel better.
If my feelings were tears I wouldn't beable to get any wetter.
My life is so boring.
I have no friends.
My life revolves around internet,video games & movies.
I have a hard time making friends or keeping friends.

I feel like I'm under a constant rain cloud.
Getting rained on with constant depression.
I feel like I can't find happiness.
My life is going no where.
Nothing good is coming from it.
I'm going to be stuck in this basement forever.

The darkness is always around me.
I feel as if I'm in my grave already.
Dead at 29.
Feel like I won't even see my 30th birthday.

- Kennie Kayoz -





Dreamweaver...

Oh dreamweaver why do you have to be so expensive.
$500 from my pocket is too much to give.
So that I can't see you live.
I can't let you take my stuff to new heights.
I would no longer suffer the long waits.
I can't afford the price you rate.

Oh dreamweaver, why can't you sell for cheaper.
I feel as if your my grim reaper.
To my death and I shall not see you.
The program that I long for.
In hopes of making things better.

I would like to take the next step.
But the price tag tells me no no.
My pockets scream "NO NO"

Oh dreamweaver please come down in price.
To allow the poorer human to afford you, would be nice.

Kennie Kayoz





Dreamweaver....part 2

Oh dreamweaver, Oh dreamweaver.
I have found you for sixty.
But my empty pockets are tricky
They are weight down.
But they are indeed empty.
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
To keep the latest coding.
It was never meant to be.
I guess I'll be reverting back to old coding.
In order to keep the site online.
Perhaps fall in the ranks.
Site gone and forgotten.



Kennie Kayoz





Empty Bottles

Just can't stand my life.
Someone just came in the door, its my wife.
She cracks open a 1L cooler bottle.
My half is gone before long.
She tells me there's a small bottle in the fridge.
It's practically gone by the time she's done her half of the 1L.
All I want to do is drink to drown out my life.
Hopefully I can erase it from my memory.
By the time my bottle is empty I want more.
I'm told we're out.

The bottle lays beside me on the floor.
She calls me an alcoholic.
I call it a memory eraser.
She starts feeling depressed.
She wants more to drink.
I want more to drink.

We're forced to continue to remember of all the bad shit
That's happened in our lives.

Tonight is another night.
Wine is the drink.
Will it be the problem solver.
Or will solving the problem not be a problem to be solved.

- Kennie Kayoz -







Hate On My Mind An A Pen In Hand...

I got hate on my mind an a pen in my hand.
This is how I live my life, I'm such a gruesome man.
I never gave a fuck bout what got said.
So do yourself the favor an stay outta my head.
That's the last place that you want to be.
As I'll use my pen to go on a murder spree.

Decapitate one slut, kill some asshole.
It don't matter what I gotta do as it's all written.

Catch you in my sight an you maybe the next target.
It won't be long but you best not forget.

- Kennie Kayoz -





So Lost

As you lay in bed behind me in tears.
I feel so lost, I don't know what to do and it's been five years.
I wish I knew how to make you feel better.
But it seems more I try more my sheets get wetter.

I feel so lost and so hopeless.
I feel so sad and so helpless.
It tears me up inside just seeing you like this.
You always tell me that there's nothing I can do.
But then a day later you look at me as your superman.
I don't know what to do.
I wish I did, but nothing works out.

Living in small towns all of our lives.
Always having the thoughts of running for the knives.
Nobody will hire us.
Nobody will read our resumes.

Our lives aren't getting any better.
Your working a shitty job.
Nobody will hire me so I turn to poetry.
In hopes of it striking up a few bucks.
But we have no luck.

Some of ours don't even get read.
You stare "into space"
I can't help but sit here with a blank face.

Feeling.... So Lost

Kennie Kayoz





What Shall I Do

I never know anymore about what I should do.
The girl who I'm determined to be with for the rest of my life is turning blue.
Blue with sadness, as she feels she can't do anything that she wants.
Even though everyone can see the smile that her own mother flaunts.
Her own mother wanting her to not get better.
So she can be stuck in those four walls forever.
That isn't the life for her, she needs to get out.
Even though at times she wants to scream, break shit and get the fuck out.
She doesn't, she keeps herself calm.
Wanting for everything to be better.
When in her life nothing looked any wetter.
The rainy day as the cloud is stuck above her.
Knowing that she is stuck where she is.
But always wanting to go back to that bliss.
The life she enjoyed once before.
The life that never have gotten her so sore.
Never wanting to see the life that she never wanted.
Even though the smile on her mother becomes more clear as shes flaunted.
Around the house right in front of her own child knowing.
That the smile of her own child's torment is showing.
But here I sit and I feel like I can't do nothing for my wife.
Except to talk to her night after night.
Online as we can't be together.
Since two separate houses with miles apart are keeping her from getting better.
Allot of weight has been put onto my shoulders.
Got a wife with a broken leg, an I've been fatherless for almost a year.
The one year anniversary of the crash is coming up, as I can feel a tear.
Wanting to run down my face but I have the notion needing to be strong.
Since there are so many people around me crumbling is what I'm doing wrong.
I never seem to know wrong from right.
But 99.9% of my feelings cause me to want to write.

- Kennie Kayoz -





Black Tooth

Last night I noticed I had a black line on my tooth.

With my luck the black line went right down to the root.
Causing it to be very painful when I ate.

So now when I get offered food, I simply tell them I can't.


The pain that it causes me makes me turn down my favorites.

No matter how good it smells, I sit with frustrations.

I can't stand passing the food up, but I refuse to be in pain.
Jessica is concerned about me and the way I go about these thangs.



The black tooth hurts when almost anything touches it.
Today I'm stuck to eatting yogurt which I'm now out of.
The drink of choice is pop.

I know the drink won't do it any good.
But half the time I feel as if my mouth is filled up with blood.
I know I brought this on myself cause I never did take care of'em.

I can't afford to get this shit fixed because I don't have a job.
Jessica is working a shitty job and making little to no money.

She's worried that her job may not last long.
Since during this recession nothing is safe.



I now sit here typing this with my stomach constantly growling.

A bite of anything will make me start howling.
As hungry as I am I don't want to eat.
I sit here in front of the computer and watch tears roll down my face and drip down to my feet.



So I decided to turn this into a poem

It may rhyme in some spots and not in others.

But it don't matter it's all about letting the world know what I'm going through.

Sad, Depressed, Mad or in Pain too.



- Kennie Kayoz -


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