Excerpt for Unsent Letters of a Broken Heart by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

















To all broken hearts, and tears shed,



Commit that after you read this you will move on,

shattered pieces away, tears wiped.

It’s okay to cry once, twice, thrice,

But not forever. Let it all out. But after it, make sure all of

these are over.




P.S

Don’t be afraid to love again.

Love is beautiful, keep that in mind.





(Write your commitment to yourself below.)

















I want to be embraced in your feathered arms of forever,

In your voice soothing as the heavens.

I want to be enraptured by you, within you,

in your capability of making me melt, making me smile,

even without your presence.

I want to be the one that’s going to finish your sentences,

the owner of the hands you are going to hold on for long,

the kiss you’ll ever remember that you’ll trade your life & time.


I wonder if I can ever carry on.

I’m weak.

I’m insatiable.

I’m dying,

for you are absorbing my breathing.


YOU

Demi Bernice



















I remember every sensation.

Every inch of your skin touching mine.

I remember everything you told me,

From the first to the last sequence.

Of how you arrange your words

like a magnificent array of flowers,

Of how your jokes make me giggle

like I’m being tickled with a feather in my ear.

I remember how often I showed you

how would it feel to be loved by me,

And I wish I can do more.

I wanted to do more.

I wish I have kissed you before I went home.

But if I did, then it would only come as a torment

in each days that passes by without you.

Like how this day goes

with this thought--torture.



TORTURE

Demi Bernice
















I made a huge mistake.

That is, falling for you.

I drowned in your ocean of sugar-coated words,

sweet as sugar in your coffee and cream but dreadful when tasted.

You did not pull me out from drowning.

You left me, dying.

MISTAKE

Demi Bernice



































Of course, you would not miss me.

Of course, you would not care.

Of course, you would not text me.

Of course, you would not dare.

But at the end of everyday, I always think..

Maybe, you miss me.

Maybe, you care.

Maybe, you will text me.

Maybe, you will dare.

Maybe, you love me.

And maybe, all of these things are uncertain.

UNCERTAIN

Demi Bernice



































So I’ll stop walking behind you.

Of course, you’ll never know. You’ll never look back.

I was there, behind you, seeing how your footsteps brisk

from one step to another.

I’m sorry if I insisted in tagging you along.

But no worries now, love.

I’ll stop walking.

I’ll let you walk on your own now.

I will be walking away.

I’m walking away from you.

If you come looking for me,

I’m just opposite where you went.

I’ll be walking, but I’ll still be waiting.



FOOTSTEPS

Demi Bernice



























I fell for you when I thought I would not.

You came into my life when I least expected you would come.



You must be my kismet.



A fate I’ve waited for do long.



KISMET

Demi Bernice















She’s been waiting for that prince charming,

the one the books are saying.

She thought it was the one with the crown,

The one with the shining armour and with that hair of brown.

So she said, “Yes, take me with you.”



They ran fast into a journey

where most people think it’s easy to take,

‘Til she was astonished, he was a fake.

Everything went so wrong, everything they make.

She rode a horse with a beast,

And anytime, she could be its feast.

But no.

She stayed calm,

Trusting the beast once more.

“He’ll be fine.” To herself, she swore.

She knew he’s a beast but he loved him still.

Not all princes have crowns or dragons to kill.

Some of them are beasts you have to get used to.

For love is not merely “falling” but accepting,

And be accepted too.



SHINING ARMOUR

Demi Bernice

























































My mind is tormented of the memories of you.

I suffer and stumble upon my thoughts of you.

You got me into your magic spell,

I’m cursed and poisoned as hell.

TORMENT

Demi Bernice













EMPTY MINUTES

Demi Bernice



What am I to you?

A girl, a sket, a lover..

Which word defines me?

A woman, a lady, a stranger..

What kismet had brought me to you,

You the guy, the boy, the man?

I love you, and you said you love me too.

But what am I to you?

A friend, a lover or for a leisure,

Someone you spend your empty minutes to.









































































I wish my memories will haunt you.

I wish you cannot go to sleep without the thoughts of me.

I wish you’ll go back and find me.

I wish you’ll find mt tracks.

I wish you come asking other people how I’m doing

I wish you’ll go watch me from afar

I wish upon a twinkling star

I wish on every 11:11, twenty four and seven

I wish you just loved me and never break even.













You were not sorry.

Everything is now clear to me like a newly-squeegeed glass

you once fogged up.

Maybe I was just delusional

that everything between us two will be fine.

Maybe my love for you was only an

Illusional thinking of a hopeless heart.

I tried to weave myself in your world.

I tried to weave myself in your world,

I tried to pave a road where we can walk through

a journey together without hindrances and self-issues,

I tried so hard for you to stay

When in fact you would not.

All this time, it was not me.

All this time, it was someone else.

You once destroyed me in the beautiful way possible.

Now,

you destroyed me in a way we both know that’s otherwise.















































Push me away, okay.

That’s fine, but you can never get rid of me forever.

I’ll be here, watching you from your window,

under your table, in your chest, sniffing your soul

Or inside your heart, hearing your every heartbeat.

I’m used to this, you pushing me away.

It’s okay.

I welcome every torment as long as it’s you.

However, keep in mind, no matter what you’ll do,

I cannot leave you.

I will never leave you.



















































We started by teasing each other through pet names,

Got out feelings deeper by creating love names

And ended up calling each other by our first names.







































Maybe we both can’t understand at the moment,

How these tears fill the corners of our eyes.

Maybe the reasons are too obscure to be seen.

God knows why I chose to leave,

But my heart is still yours to bleed.

It may seem so confusing,

But that’s how love is anyway,

at any point,

Still amusing.





































I should be happy seeing you happy,

but knowing that it’s not me you’re happy with

Is a pain I’ve swallowed for so long now.

Hello, I exist.

You might want to notice my presence who’s always been here,

Yes, all along.

I watch every step you take.

I watch you miles away,

Miles away from me,

Miles away with somebody else.

And this,

Is the torture I’ve chosen.



































Perhaps it’s okay to cry.

Perhaps it’s okay to let it all out.

My chest is heaving and my mind wants to shoyt.

I will shout.

I will let it all out.

I will let him hear it even if he would not care.

I will break his mirrors and windows with my weep.

I will tear his soul apart with my agonizing cries,

For the saddest cries are the ones left unheard.

































































I would welcome any pain and suffering

From you and with you by my side than losing you all the way

And not having you in my life.

I would love to be tormented, tortured;

Broken limbs, broken bones, rather than a broken heart.

Ruin me.

Ruin me all you want.

Destroy me, wreck me if you must.

For everyday, it’s you,

It is your soul that I breathe

And without you, I am nothing.

I am inhuman.



What would I do to make you understand?

What would I do to make you stay?

For you’re the one I need at every minute

And at this very hour, I am dying.

I need you.

I need you more than just a “need”.











































Skimming back to those old memories of ours

make me realize that there are really things

that aren’t meant to be no matter how hard we try.

If people aren’t meant to be together, they will never be,

No matter how they say, “Always and forever.”

At every second of the day or

they always try to keep each other close.



The truth is,

If the love story was meant for a ‘The End’,

it’s the only way it’s headed to.

And that maybe, someday, I deserve someone better than you.

I deserve something better than what we had,

and I will love that person more than I loved you.

This time, I will love someone who deserves to be loved

and I will be loved as to how I deserve to be.











More often, I tell myself,

“I also deserve a happily-ever-after.”

All I did was to love,

Love more,

And love even more

At every single day, each passing hour.

I question the existence of true love,

“Does love so true exist?”

True love, do listen.

I am tired of waiting for you.

I am dying of being in pain.





























I was once a seeker of true love.

I went mountains and fell off several cliffs.

Got wounded, got healed, got wounded and healed again.
I was once a seeker of true love.

Just like I was the princess looking for the Cinderella boy to whom this glass boot fits.
I was once a seeker of true love when I figured my search was a failure.

I've been to different people of different perspectives and of different views of love, nevertheless,

I've never found 'The One'
Now, I am the love that the seeker shall seek.

I am right here, waiting..

Standing by this white wall, camouflaging,

and if you found me, show me you are worthy, and I am yours.
Find me just like how the prince found Cinderella.

Don't bring me a glass boot or a glass slipper, bring me your heart.

















































Unsaid Thoughts of Love

(Book 2)























What is Love if it’s not with you?

If it wasn’t you, it wouldn’t be love, I know

How do I know? Well, I just know.

Some people say our love is just a lie,

A fantasy. They say, “How would a Long Distance Relationship survive? Would there be a love between a man and a woman in the opposite sides of the planet?”

They say the miles between us are crazy.

I'm crazy. You’re crazy. We both are crazy!

Well, I guess we cannot deny the fact that we both really are, crazily in love with each other.

They say it cannot be love when you haven’t seen the person yet.

Whatever, whatever, whatever.

They would not know, because they haven’t felt it.

What I’m feeling right now is only between me and him,

Him and me, and every little air of gap between us.

What is love if it’s not with you?

If it wasn’t you, it wouldn’t be love, I know

God, I know. I just know.

The connection we’ve felt since day one,

The way you talked to me and the way I talked to you

From that day on I knew, I knew, I just knew

I knew there was something.

Between us was something really strong.

Have we met each other in past life?

Haven’t we?

Was I your wife? Your twin? Your sister?

I am confused and puzzled and tangled with questions

In my mind I would like to ask the wisest owl

In the whole world, or.. at least a person who knows

The answer to these things.

Should I even unfold them?

How come our stories are intertwined into the same fabric

Of the same cloth, of the same color, only of different years?

I have stopped believing in magic when I was 9 but I think I need to believe

All over again.

Well, abracadabra.

What is love if it’s not having straight sleep for 8 hours just to talk to you and meet your timezone?

My timezone eleven hours passed yours.

We talk when it’s noon in your place and dawn at mine.

But still, I know, God, I know, we’re still under the same sun,

The same moon, the same stars, only of different directions

Of different pacing.

What is love if it’s not waking up in the morning knowing I slept over your messages and have to apologize to you and wish that you’re not grumpy because of it at all,

Even if I know that you are, no matter how hard you try to pretend you’re not.

Yeah yeah, you did that to me one time.

What is love if it’s not saying the sweetest ‘I love you’ no matter how grumpy you are.

You get grumpy of me for something I did, perhaps it was falling asleep while you were waiting for my replies,

But the next day you sent me a picture of you and your adorable pouty lips because you miss me

And you’re trying to make up.

Now, that, is love.

If it isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

If this strong feeling I have for you will not be explained and defined as

Love, may it be defined by a 4-year-old or a college student,

I don’t know what is.







WHAT IS LOVE

Demi Bernice



















*Unsaid Thoughts of Love, Book 2, will soon be published.





























ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS



There are only a few people who had made this book possible but I would still consider them the best, so I’m going to tell them how grateful I am for these people.



God, You have been my rock. I am and will ever be forever grateful of letting me see how beautiful love is and what beauty it does to people.



Beau, you make life ever beautiful than it was before. You’re the reason why I got back to writing. Thank you for motivating me to write. Thank you for being you. Like I always say, you’re the most amazing man. I love you.



And you, who are reading this, thank you. You made my literature alive. Without you, my words are nothing.



Magis!

















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www.demibernice.com





































Demi Bernice is a graduate of Early Childhood Education but has a mad love for writing ever since 12 and fell in love with books at the early age of 5. She is not only a writer of poems but also fiction and will soon venture to non-fiction books in this later year. (Pen name: The Red Spilled Ink)



E-mail: theredspilledink@gmail.com

Blog: www.theredspilledink.wordpress.com

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ALL SWIRLS AND VECTORS IN THE POEM PAGES ARE NOT OWNED BY THE AUTHOR.



Should you wish to give annotations and feedback about this book, you may e-mail the author at theredspilledink@gmail.com.


























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