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Hope Is Within

 Patrick Allen Howard

  ©2015 Patrick Howard

All rights reserved. No part of  this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publishers, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a newspaper, magazine or journal.



First printing



All characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.


ISBN: 9781370989850






Printed in the United States of America


In Captivity

In The Morning

God'S Army



I Look To The Day

Into The Horizon

My Plea

My Sin

I Was Once A Spider

Where Did I Go

I Stand

I Love You

How Deep

To Where Does My Love Go

I Am

Is This Me

Separation of Salvation

The Force that Drove the Nail

Release Ee

Praise To You

For Salvation

Birth of Light


Black Angel

White Angel

Shroud of Torment

I Slumber

When I Reach Out

It Calls

To My Core

This Love


A Silent Guardian

The Man That You See

Broken Sword

To the One I Await

Maiden of Beauty

Into The Shadows

Amidst the Sky

Love Beckons

So Much

Walking The Path

Enter Into The Unknown

Within This Chaos

Sea of Words

Lost In The Moment

A Call To Arms

A Shadow Awaits

Where Is The Answer

In The Night Sky

The Poet's Heart

Lies Remain

Prisoner of Thought

In Captivity


In captivity the dragon held me,

Darkness enveloping my being.

You must sin,” the dragon taunted,

You need it!” Is there hope?.

In slavery the dragon commanded me,

Strife consuming my soul.

You are mine.” The dragon mocked.

You need me!” Is there love?

In adultery the dragon poisoned me,

Lust destroying my spirit.

You crave it.” The dragon tempted.

You need more!” Is there freedom?

In purity the Savior freed me,

Light enveloping my being.

You are free.” The Savior comforted

You need only me.” There is hope!

In mercy the Savior released me,

Peace constructing my soul.

You are mine.” The Savior assured.

You need only me.” There is freedom!

In sanctuary the Savior welcomed me,

Love raising my spirit.

You are home.” The Savior smiled.

You need only me.”

In The Morning


In the morning the birds sing,

Celebrating a new day.

Hear their praise o reluctant man.

In the morning the man groans,

Cursing a new day.

The sun rises to chase away darkness.

Bask in its warm promise!

In the afternoon the wasps work,

Tending to their nest.

See their unity o divided man.

In the afternoon the man gripes,

Complaining to his home.

The sun stays high to give life.

Bask in its soothing love!

In the evening dogs sleep,

Resting for another day.

See their peace o restless man!

In the evening the man cries,

Regretting for another day.

bask in the Son,

For he shall return.

Just as the sun returns to at dawn.




God's Army


I stand as a shadow among light,

And a beacon in the dark.

I am never far,

I am never near;

I am always waiting.

I am ready to listen,

I am ready to care.

I will always put you first,

And I will not think of myself.

In this I find peace,

In this I know joy.

In this world I will do my best,

In the next I will find rest....

Always will I stand,

Always will I carry on.

I am a servant.

I am a soldier in God's Army.

The battle rages within,

A dark influence whispers,

Demanding your separation of the moment.

The memories you recall,

Are they a dream?

A subtle suggestion ends in a broken life,

The causalities are not just you.

Visions of terror awaken at night,

A shadow looms over you.

With logic we discard the battle within,

With fear we cower.

There are too few warriors to fight this battle,

Standing on the Word they face the enemy.

So many doubt them,

So many ridicule them.

Will you stand for the weak and the wounded?



Looking to who I was,

I see no hope.

An existence lacking purpose.

I was fallen,

drenched in despair.

Distant I stood,

Vague I remained.

Mocking bellows surrounded me,

Kicked and spat on.

So close to oblivion.

So far from light.

Looking to who I am,

I see my potential.

Clad in the Word,

Wielding its potent power.

I am risen,

Clothed in love.

Anew I stand,

Steadfast I remain.

Cries surround me,

Unheard and unseen.

So close to salvation. So far from righteousness.

Looking to who I am to be,

I see a warrior,

An existence fulfilled.

I am to rise higher,

Armored with His love.

Shock and awe will surround me,

Persecuted and question.

So close to Him,

So far from darkness.

Unleash me.




Who are you,

Lord of Hosts?

Who are you,

Son of Man?

Who are you,

Spirit of power?

You are three,

Yet you are one,

With love you created.

With anger you destroyed.

Mercy did flow from your hand,

Anger did flow from you other hand.

To your Son you dispensed my sin,

To your fallen you dispensed His righteousness.

Who are we to be of worth?

Whose lives are riddled with sin.

Who are you to create the Law,

And fulfill it yourself?

For all could not;

Only you.


I Look To The Day


I look to the day,

When I find the way,

"Oh so stubborn" they say.

I look to them with dismay,

"Change who you are" They say.

I look to the day,

When I am accepted for my way.

Come to me and see,

That which I was to be.

Come to me and be,

That which I was to see.

A monster unwilling,

A beast unyielding.

Come to me and receive,

That which I was taken.

Come to me and give,

That which I was shaken.

A shadow eluding,

A whisper silencing.

Come to me and love,

That which I had hid.

Come to me and accept,

That which I had bid.

A child faded,

A heart hardened.

Come to me and stand,

That which I am driven.

Come to me and join,

That which I am given.

A man with no honor of his own,

A man with no power of his own.

Come and see Jesus,

That which I reflect.

Come and see Jesus,

That which I inject.


Into The horizon


Into the horizon I look,

Eyes set on what lies beyond.

Into the horizon I listen,

Ears set on what will emerge.

Into the horizon I venture,

Feet set on what steps reveal.

Into the horizon I reach,

Hands set on what will grasp,

Into the horizon I ponder,

Mind set on what shall come.

Into the horizon I march,

Heart set on what will await.

Into the horizon I vanish,

Spirit set on who will save.


My Plea


Let them come,

My Lord.

Your enemies,

They surround me.

Your warrior,

I await your command.

In the gap I will stand,

In the Word I will remain.

A mirror reflecting your light,

A messenger delivering your letter.

Call to Jesus” your messenger cries,

Accept the answer that is before you!” your warrior pleads.

We do not require a a king...God is our king!” your servant calls


Many who claim the Throne call out for a man,

A man other than Jesus.

One who would surely fulfill them...

Are they so blind, o Lord?

Are they so deaf, o God?

For the message has been delivered,

For the Son was slain...

Only to rise again!

Again he shall return,

Again the day shall come!

The Dark Ones can not prevent this,

They may only mask it.

Oh how my heart bleeds...

For those who would call me brother,

And not know the Savior!

He is my life,He is my hope,

He is my Lord...

Cry out to him, o Round Lake!

Cry out to him, o Christians!

Our God has no use for religion,

Only faith will do!Follow the path of uncertainty,

Follow the road of suffering,

Follow the way of salvation.

Do you not see?Do you not hear?

Let them come,

I stand ready...


My Sin


Praise be to you Lord,

In you,

I raise my spirit.

The very best,

Was laid to rest…

In his death,

I have new breath.

In his revival,

You secured my arrival.

My debt to be paid,

Lay upon your Son.

The sin that he bore,

All to him I owe,

All that I am I bestow,

The pain he would know…

The rain of new life…

All for love,

Did he endure that strife.

My Father…

Why bother for a wretch as I?

Even as I stretch my understanding,

It has not standing.

My debt you paid…

My love you craved…

Though the world may laugh,

You wraith is spared from me.

Barred is my sin,

It does not dwell within,

My sin you did thresh,

Only in my flesh it remains.


I Was Once a Spider…


I was once as a spider.

Never seeking conflict,

Always hiding in the shadows.

Yet many feared me, never understanding me.

Never to see what works I have done…

I weave my poetry as a spider does a web,

My words as smooth as her silk.

I have been looked upon with fear and dismay,

Therefore, I hid away in the shadows once more.

I darkened my soul,

Wrapping myself in a shroud of darkness.

I sought to invoke fear,

So that I may be left alone…

So that I may know peace.

I knew more darkness,

Moreover, I hid further from the light.

In my despair a messenger came,

She carried with her a light and a love I had not known.

She saw through my web of deceit,

In addition, showed me where I will find peace.

Therefore, I wrapped myself in light,

My dark form changing,

My heart beating once more.

Therefore, I became as a butterfly,

As I as meant to be.

My wings are not perfect,

They are misshaped and spotted.

Nevertheless, to all who saw me as a spider, and to all who hear this


Through the Lord, all things are possible.

I was once a spider,

I am now a butterfly.

And I shall guide you to the light


Where Did I Go…?


Where did I go?

When I walked that dark path…

When I built up that wall…

Where did I go?

My heart cries out,

Even as I stand in the light…

Where did I go?

Through all this change,

Through all this growth,

Have I lost my roots?

Is this really for me?”

I ponder as I look about the horizon,


When hatred swelled my heart,

When rage enveloped my soul,

Where did I go?


I Stand…


Against the world,

I stand…

Infirmity is my soul,

But in the Lord,

I stand…

My strength has failed me,

My power obsolete.

In the Lord, I find strength,

In the Lord, I find faith.

My heart nestled in the Lord,

I stand…

Against all the dark powers,

I stand…

My Lord is with me,

My Lord has saved me…

With him I stand,

With him I rest.

I stand…


I Love You


Where once I stood alone,

Blinded and lost,

When darkness enveloped my soul,

You came to me with a smile,

And offered me nothing but friendship,

Though I hid at first,

You continued to smile,

That smile became my Northern Star,

No longer do I walk in the darkness,

When I once cowered in the shadows for comfort,

I now turn to my Lord,

In helping me to find my way, back to the light,

You saved my soul,

Though the demons that almost drove me down a sinister path


They no longer hold sway over me,

For my heart no longer carries the cold hatred that it once exhausted

itself with,

It now carries love,

And to the one that holds my heart,

Whose beauty far exceeds even the grandest of storms,

I love you.


How Deep


How Deep…

How deep was your love,

When you stepped down from Heaven?

How deep was your courage…

When you became a man?

My love is shallow,

My sins unyielding.

How deep was my punishment,

That you willingly stripped from me,

To hang upon yourself?

When all have abandoned you,

When those you came to save mocked you,

How deep was your anger?

Your love,

Deeper still,


When all have abandoned me,

How deep is our covenant?

My heart belongs to you,

My Lord,

How deep is the strength you give me,

How deep my love is for you,

When the world is in chaos,

I am at peace,

For I am in you.

How deep you are,

caelestis dominus



To Where Does My Love Go?


To Where Does My Love Go?

To where does my love go,

When I whisper your name into the wind,

Does it find your heart?

To where does my love go,

When I cry out defiantly to the tempest,

You shall not take me”

To where does my love go,

When my last bastion of courage lies in you,

When chaos and discord engulf my life,

To where does my love go?

I cry out to you,

My Lord,

Be not far from my heart.

For my love goes to you,

My heart longing for you,

The wind carries your warmth,

The tempest vanishing before my eyes,

The last bastion of my courage lies with you,

To where does my love go?

To you my Lord.


I Am


I am the light that protects you from the darkness,

I am the shadow that trails behind you, never once leaving,

I am the net that catches you when you fall, and the spring that


you back up,

I am the one that walks in the sinister places that no one will


I am the star that guides you to your path,

I am the knight that reaches the hand of hope out to you,

I am the one that listens to your stories of demise,

I am the outcast that rides into town alone,

I am the one that watches you as you sleep,

I am the one that waits for you when you wake,

I am the part of the stars that no one sees,

I am the piece of the universe no one understands,

I am your Guardian Angel


Is This Me?


Is this me?

Standing between my two selves…

Is this me?

One has seen Hell…being that of a Warrior,

Seeing constant conflict…always fighting…never truly is free.

Demons surround this Warrior.

Is this me?

A never-ending battle…one the Warrior cannot win.

Is this me?

The other is a Priest…preaching of love, having seen Heaven.

His conflict is of the spirit,

Always relying on God.

Always free,

is this me?

Darkness surrounds the Priest.

But the light shines upon him…the battle he has already won.

I stand,

Wondering what fate lies for each one…is this me,

The Warrior that never ceases to fight?

He is covered in blood…his heart torn by battle.

He will not find love. Only hatred…

I gaze upon the Priest…is this me,

The Priest that never ceases to love?

He is covered in blood,

But the blood of Christ.

Grace mends his heart.

He knows love…he knows God.

Salvation awaits him.

Is this me?


Separation of Salvation


Separation of Salvation

You choose not your Lord and Savior in life,

Abandoning salvation for that which is meaningless,

On the eve of your judgment, you stand before the Gates of Hell,

You separated from salvation,

Boasting of your power!

Yet you stand before the presence of the Lord!

Eternal darkness awaits you,

The sinful desires that you held so close in life,

How will they serve you in death?

Unending shall be your torment!

For you did not see me in life,

You have chosen to see only darkness,

You shall not see those who lash out at you,

Your eyes will never see their face,

For the Angel of Death did not find you with the Blood of Christ,

You are condemned to eternal solitude,

Never will you hear a voice,

Only the echoes of your torment!

Your eyes are blinded,

Yet you still use them in vain,

You are at the whim of demons,

Forever is their torture!

You wish for death, but it shall not come,

You suffer a fate far worse,

Banished are you from the presence of God!

You separated yourself from salvation…

Only darkness awaits you


The Force that Drove the Nail


I stand in the shadow of three crosses,

My gaze locked onto the center cross as my savior lay on the cross

that bore so many


Shrouded in sin, I stood and watched as the soldiers drove the nails

into him…

His body now beaten beyond imagining…

With each mighty strike,

The nails went deeper into his flesh,

Though my hand did not grasp the hammer,

My sins were the force that drove the nail,

For even the tiniest sin was mighty,

For my pleasure is his pain…

Slowly the soldiers raised the cross,

His body now bloodied with my sins…

A tear fell from my eye as I watched my savior hang on the

bloodstained cross,

Believing myself unworthy,

I stood in shame,

Thoughts and memories flooded my mind as I became disgusted

with myself,

When the feeling reached its peak,

A gentle voice beckoned to me,

To all who would hear my voice,

Approach me and lay yourself before me,

For you are indeed worthy of my gift.”

Slowly I lifted my head to meet my Lord’s gaze,

His eyes, filled with love and compassion,

Settled on me as he began to speak,

Lay your troubles before me,

For I suffer and die so that you may be free of your sins,

I love you more than you can comprehend,

I am your savior,

I am your salvation…

I am your lord.

Hold me deep in your heart,

And be true to your faith.

Tell others about the gift that awaits them,

As many have ignored me,

Their hearts are hardened with fear and sorrow,

But do not give up on them as I have not given up on you.

The bridge to the father has been laid before you,

All you must do now is cross it.

Forgive and be forgiven,

And let faith guide you,

Now…leave with me only what you carry with you,

And live your life in God.”

I knelt before him as I listened to those last few words,

A feeling of peace and tranquility washed over me.

Give your life to me, as I have given my life for you,

And your place in Heaven will be assured,

Go now and live your life in the father.”

And with that, I stood,

My mission is now clear to me.

I am to spread the word of god and live my life in him,

To him all knees bow,

To him all thanks should be given.

To him all hearts sing…For our sins were the force that drove the

nail, and forgiveness is still given.


Release Me


Weak is my body.

Worthless is my power.

For what may I do,

Oh Lord,

That can reach your righteousness?

I am a shadow in this world,

I am a passing of the wind…

What salvation may I gain,

From my obsolete power…?

To your Son Jesus…

I owe my salvation to.

Your love is strong,

Your power is beyond all…

Sin engulfs my fallen body…

Your spirit engulfs mine,

Through you,

My Lord,

I have been made whole…

Through you,

I know peace…

Through you,

I know true love…

For all you have done,

I cannot repay…

By grace,

You do not ask,

By mercy,

You have released me from my sin…


Praise To You


Praise be to you,

My Lord,

My Savior,

My Father…

In You…

In you,

My Lord,

I find strength…

Though I am weak,

You are strong.

In you,

I find refuge,

In your Son,

I find salvation.

My sins are shackles,

Locked around my soul.

In you,

My Lord,

I find freedom.

My body is fallen,

Only sin becomes of it.

In your sacrifice,

I am raised anew.

In your grace,

I am saved.

In your mercy,

I am spared.

For what I have in you,

Is worth more than this world…

In you,

My Lord,

I find my dwelling…


For Salvation


What may a man gain from his efforts?

All that he does,

Is turned to dust…

To what may he reap from sowing dust?

To place ones heart on this world is folly…

For the world is but a fallen shadow,

All those that dwell within it are bound to death…

To each the same fate befalls…

To each death will come…

Our bodies are fragile,

Our desires are sinful…

To one our salvation comes…

To one our souls sing to…

To one our punishment was cast,

To one our sins were shackled to.

He submitted to death,

So that we may be,

Free from death.

He arose three days later,

Defeating death and freeing us…

From him our love stems…

From him our faith begins…

Investing your heart to this world is folly,

For it is but a temporary stage.

A choice has been given,

A choice must be made…

One beckons us to salvation…

The other beckons us to damnation…

Choose wisely,

For it is eternity…

Praise be to you,

Oh Lord,

For the salvation,

You have given us!


Birth of Light


I stand atop a hill encased in a dark shroud,

I watched as a host of Sheppard,

The outcasts of society,

Called to bare witness to a birth…

Angels filled the night sky,

As numerous as the stars,

As bright as the sun,

One angel stepped forward,

To all who have answered this call,”

He proclaimed,

You have been as a baby in the womb,

Lost in darkness…

But now, upon this night,

The Light has stepped into darkness,

Only now will you truly be born…”

He opened his arms wide,

As he raised his head.

Come now!

Let us praise the Lord as he enters this world!

Your Savior has come!”

Glory is to God!” He and the other angels cried out,

Their voices echoing throughout the land.

But only a few heard…only those who were ousted by society…

A star broke the night sky,

Casting a column of light onto a simple manger,

As a woman cried out,

My savior was born,

All of Heaven was present…

A soothing voice called out to me,

My Son has come for you…

With love,

He will die for your sins,

And you will be rescued from darkness…

Crafted into a new creation…”

On this day,

I witnessed the Birth of Light…

And from this light hope will be renewed…

A choice has been made…

And another choice remains…

Do I enter into the Light…?

Or do I remain in Darkness…?




Darkness surrounds you…

Fear finds its ground within you…

Sorrow and regret overcome you…

To what will become of you?

Unable to see the light…

Unable to see your past your blight…

Hope glows dim,

Your fate grows grim.

Through sorrow your heart cries out,

Though tomorrow may not come.

A hero can save me…”

But who can it be?”

When despair takes hold…

Who will be bold?

A distant shout pierces the darkness…

A resilient figure emerges.

His walk is upright,

His talk is courageous,

He stands before the demon,

His hands do not tremble.

His eyes shine with love,

His voice the tone of compassion,

An aura surrounds him,

A light binds him,

He stands beside you,

His hand outstretched to you.

His sword is drawn,

His armor is strong.

Nothing can break his love for you,

Nothing can make his compassion fall…

His life he would give,

His love he would cling to.

The demon roars in frustration,

The darkness soars in anger.

In defiance the hero stands,

In his hands lies your salvation.

The battle is intense,

The toll has become immense.

In the end,

Only you stand,

In the end,

Only you have his hand.

His body beaten and torn,

His spirit tired and worn.

Though his heart celebrates,

Through love,

He has won.

The battle of a hero is unending,

The love of a hero is unyielding.

I will always love you.”

I will always dream of you…”

I love you.


Black Angel


I lay silently in my bed,

As the moon shines it’s midnight gaze at me,

Lightning dancing across the night sky,

Lashing down at the bowing trees.

I lay there, shivering,

As my windows,

Anxiously fluttering against the confining wall,

The quivering curtains reaching out into the shadows,

As a piercing wind casts itself into the room,

A shadowy figure ascends into the doorway formed by shadows on

the floor,

Its wings matching the motion of the curtains.

I reach to the lamp and soon light emerge from the lamp and chases

off the darkness to the far corners of the room.

Slowly, I stand walk to the windows,

Closing them.

The curtains still quiver,

Yet the windows are close.

A bone-chilling breeze surrounds me,

As the illumination of the lamp fades,

I turn slowly and there above the head of my bed stands the Black


Its wings grasping the surrounding darkness.

I cowered in the corner,

Gazing up at the Black Angel as it stood there,

Watching me. An evil laugh echoed through out the dark room,

As the Black Angel stood there,

Watching me,

I could only cower in the corner and gaze up at the Black Angel for

countless hours….

Every night was the same after that,

Always shivering and shuddering as the Black Angel stood above



White Angel


I stand under the shadows of my pain,

Staring out my window as dark clouds stretched out in every


I closed my eyes,

Wondering if I would ever see the light again.

A gentle breeze flew in through the open window as a soothing hum

emerged from the

Deafening silence.

I gazed around the dark room,

The hum stretched out to all of the dark corners of the room.


I shut the window,

And stood there, closing my eyes.

The hum seemed to vanish as I retreated to my bed.

I stared up at the bare ceiling,

Amerced by my thoughts,

Wondering if the gentle hum that had filled the room was a dream or


I lay there, encased in the tomb that is my thoughts.

A deafening silence embedded itself within the confines of my mind.

A gentle,

Warm zephyr pierced the stale,

Cold air as it moved through the room.

The curtains swayed tenderly with utter elegance,

Despite the closed window.

I sat up slowly as the breeze swept over me,

Closing my eyes.

The zephyr swirled around me,

As a gentle hum penetrated the stillness.

As the remnants of the barren feeling of despair began to


I felt the warmth of light begin to descend into the dark room.


I opened my eyes,

Gazing at expanding spark of light on the wall.

I smiled blissfully as the growing shape of an angel cast its light

upon me.

This White Angel,

Beautiful beyond comprehension, stood above me,

Watching over me.

Every night after,

The White Angel would stand there,

Protecting me from the surrounding darkness.


Shroud of Torment


I stand on the crossroads of Heaven…and Hell,

Lost in a void of thought,

Forever tormented by the demons of my past,

Trapped between the Light and the Darkness,

Shadows began to creep into my soul,

Consumed by so much hatred, yet so much love,

The shadows whispered to me,

Promising vengeance on those that seek me harm,

Offering blinded satisfaction,

Slowly swaying me into a dark void,

My footsteps were fueled by hatred,

A soothing voice began to beckon to me,

The shadows grew louder and more violent as the voice pierced

through their barrier,

Return to the light” the voice repeated as I turned to see its


The light burned brighter than ever before,

The shadows roared in anger as I began to move toward the light,

Blinding me from the hand that was waiting for me,

I pressed on harder now as I went on faith,

And when I least expect it,

The hand that I could not see rested on my shoulder,

Let go of your past,” the voice whispered now,

And so I stood in the light,

The Shroud of Torment lifting from my soul,

I finally would know salvation…


I Slumber…


I slumber…

Trapped in a prison of fear…

I slumber…

Not knowing what I will find when I awaken…

I slumber…

Lost in a void of endless torment…

I slumber…

Too afraid to look in myself…

Yet too afraid not to see myself…

I slumber…

Wrapped in a shroud of self-pity…

I slumber…

When so much is lost,

How can I open my eyes…?

I slumber…

Dreams of times of happiness…

Where have they gone…?

I slumber…

When I open my eyes…

Who will be there…?

I slumber…

Knowing this answers…

I awaken to them…

Though I fear them…

I slumber no more.



When I Reach Out


When I reach out…

When I cannot stand alone…

When I see nothing but darkness…

When I hear nothing but echoes…

What will I find…?

When I reach out…

What will be waiting in the unknown…?

When I lose sight of everything…

What will I see…?

Will there be a light…?

Will I be lead into darkness…?

When I reach out…

Will I find what I am looking for…?

Will this be my salvation…?

When I reached out…

I found my savior…


It Calls


It begins with a knock on my door,

All lights are dimmed.

My heart races,

My breathing grows uneasy…

I am alone,

Save for the dark presence at my door.

The darkness surrounding…

Is it the darkness within?



A voice beckons to me,

Come to me”

It calls,

I approach the door slowly,

Trembling with each step.

I switched my light on,

As I stood before my door.



The voice grew louder,

Open to me…”

I opened the door slowly,

Greeted by the dark hall.

I glanced about,

Finding only emptiness.

The lights began to flicker,

As I shut the door slowly,

All light vanished,

As the voice came behind,

You are mine…”

I turned,

To see the dark figure that drew closer,

Its face was hidden,

A robe of shadows covered its entire frame,

A chilling air emerged from its mouth as it spoke,

I froze in terror as I met its sightless gaze,

Nearer it drew,

Raising its hand to me.



My heart threatened to leap from its cage,

I felt its cold hand before its touch,

I screamed as it reached for me,

The room began to turn black,

I staggered as I began to lose myself,

Until I collapsed onto the floor.

I do not know how long it was until I awoke,

The room was normal,

The sun shined brightly through the window.

I shook lightly as I stood,

Reality was unclear to me now…

Was it real,

That dark figure?

I raised my hands,

Its cold touch was imprinted with five cold spots on my hand…

To this,

I trembled…

This night terror,

Is it real?


To My Core


To my core I find love,

To my core I find compassion.

To my core I find empathy,

To my core I find understanding.

To my core I find faith,

To my core I find humility.

To my core I find Jesus…


This Love


This love I give,

This love I yearn,

This love I receive.

My armor in despair,

My sword in struggle,

My shield in sorrow.

This love I see,

This love I feel,

This love I reveal…

My net when I fall,

My cane when I stumble,

My compass when I wander.

This love I seek,

This love I search,

This love I dream.

My friend that listens,

My family that cares,

My Lord that saves.

This is my love,

This is my care,

This is my heart…





Astray did I wander,

Away did I venture.

For the fear of who I was,

For the sorrow of what I have done.

To the shadows I fled,

To the whispers I hid.


Beneath all that I built,


Above all that I lost,

Arose a cry…

A cry to return,

A cry to arise,

A cry to stand…

For thee,

My Lord,

For Thee,

In dedication I serve,

In revelation I speak.

To all I vow,

To all I bow. It is the nature of man to come first;

It is the nature of servants to come last.

To thee,

My King,

To thee we come.


All you who are lost!


All you who struggling!

Upon the cross the Son was slain,

Upon the Christ your sins are lain.

Drop the garments of sin,

Drop the wisdom of flesh.

Strap on the Armor of Faith,

Strop on the Wisdom of Spirit.

For you,

My friend,

For you I have returned…

Together we may stand,

Together we may live.

To you,

My sibling,

To you I offer my service.

All the wisdom that was granted to me,

All the compassion that was given to me,

I pour out for you.

For the Spirit has arisen within me,

For the fire that burns within me….



A Silent Guardian


A Silent Guardian,

Standing steadfast in his faith,

Watching vigilantly in his life,

Vowing humbly in his service.

A silent guardian…

One who would protect,

One who would sacrifice,

One who would love…

In silence he stands by you,

Always in the shadows,

Never far from you.

A silent guardian…

To watch over you,

To go before you,

To rise with you.

He will never be understood completely,

He will never be accepted wholly.

A dark outcast,

A silent guardian…

With care he will reach to you,

With honor he will come to you.

With valor he will sacrifice to you.

A silent guardian…

They are few in number,

They are seldom seen,

They are always watching…

A silent guardian…

I will always be near,

I will always be watching,

I will always be waiting…


The Man That You See


The man that you see,

Who is he to be?

His faith has made him a loner,

His honor has made him an outcast.

The man that you see,

Who is he to see?

His love has made him a dream,

His compassion has made him a mirage.

The man that you see,

What is he to become?

From the shadows he has come,

From the fringe has he risen.

The man that you see,

What is he to accomplish?

From the light he has become anew,

From the gateway has stood firm.

The man that you see,

How is he to live?

With sorrow he receded,

With fear he hid,

The man that you see,

How is he to carry on?

Through discipline he has moved,

Through courage he has remained.

The man that you see,

Is it me?


Broken Sword


In an exhausted body,

I battle on,

Against an enemy who knows no rest,

Against an endless battle,

I struggle.

Weariness has taken its toll,

As despair nestles,

I fall.

Leaning on my sword,

I raised my head to the demon,

I would not give up…

I would not run…

Though I could not win…

With a mighty swing,

The demon broke my sword,

With a bellowing howl,

The demon loomed over me.

Reaching for my broken sword,

To make one last stand…

The demon sent my strength away,

Sliding my broken sword just beyond reach.

Closing my eyes,

I surrendered the fight.

My strength to fall,

My courage to fail,

My wisdom to falter.

The demon scowled,

Turning quickly to prey on another.

An invisible hand grasped me,

Placing within it a sword not of the world,

But of the Word.

With renewed strength and hope,

I arose to call out to the demon,

Challenging it as I held this sword to my heart.

Broken may be my sword,

Weak ma y be my flesh,

For my strength is waning.

The Word shall not fade.


To the One I Await


With patience I await you,

My Love,

With faith I long for you,

My Love quickly filling my heart.

Your heart has drawn me,

As a butterfly to a flower.

With love I will tend it,

With compassion I will embrace it.

With all that I am I will defend it…

I await you,

Maiden of Beauty.

Just as a lone wolf waits to be joined,

I await you,

The first to my heart.

My heart has been broken,

Broken into many pieces.

The Lord as resembled these pieces,

A book to perceive…

A necklace to hold…

A key to unlock…

Find these pieces,

My love,

And all that is within will be open to you.

Never will I leave you,

Never will I use you

Never will I hide you.

I will be faithful,

To the one I await.

I will rise to your protection,

My Lady.

More beautiful than all the sky has to offer,

Your eyes shine brightly to me.

Your voice soothes more than the Sirens’ tune,

Your embrace is wrapped with the beauty within you,

Though your appearance is more beautiful than my words

may describe,

The beauty that emanates from your heart stretches far


Clothe yourself with the Light of Faith,

Clothe yourself with the Love of a Savior.

I have saved myself for you,

My love.

I wait,

To offer it all to you.

I love you.


Maiden of Beauty


As I gaze upon you,

Maiden of Beauty,

I fall into a daze…

Beauty of unmatched aura,

Maiden of Beauty,

How may I describe,

How your beauty inscribes…

My eyes search,

My mind wonders,

Maiden of Beauty, How may I approach…?

How may I embrace…?

Your Beauty and Grace…

Maiden of Beauty,

Your beauty emanates from within,

Your eyes are the beacon,

My heart is drawn,

My spirit grows calm.

Maiden of Beauty,

May I come close…?

May I see your heart…?

Maiden of Beauty,

I am stunned by your gentle hand;

I am in awe of your nurturing spirit.

Maiden of Beauty,

Am I worthy?

Am I enough?

Maiden of Beauty,

Though I seek to find words,

Words adequate to describe what I see,

I find none.

Though I may merely describe what lies above as beautiful,

The beauty within stretches beyond that.

Maiden of Beauty…May I be yours?


Into The Shadows


Into the shadows I did proceed,

With sorrow to recede.

For the sake of all,

Did I fake it all.

Though my heart bled,

I wrapped it with shadow and secrecy,

Though I fled,

I could not hide,

I could not abide.

For the love of all…I did not call.

I did not reveal.

Though I was lead,

In the shadows I remained.

In solitude my tears shed,

In silence my heart bled.

Only now I reveal,

Only now I am real.

Into the shadows I resided.

Into the shadows my heart died.

It was then,

Did I truly realize.

Did I fully see…

The relief set before me.

I come now with love,

I come now with joy.

Returning from the shadows,

I come to you,

A new creation,

A new inspiration…

Into the shadows I fell,

Into the light I rise.

To those who awaited me,

To those who offered me their hand,

I thank you,

I trust you,

I love you.

Amidst the Sky


Amidst the sky,
Threads of light blue sewn,
Swirling in patterns amidst the blue sky.
Shining stars embedded in a blue blanket,
Sparkle with no opponent.
Higher and higher I fly,
Clouds of white stretch and bend,
Dancing around my movement.
Amidst the sky,
I see beauty with no equal!
Above the sky,
Amidst a blanket of black,
Surrounded by patterns of purple, red and blue and infinite combinations,
Stars shining as glitter on a black beach.
The earth rests as a marble of blue, white and green and all in between.
Above the earth I fall,
Sky growing and growing.
Knowing and knowing I was falling,
Calling to my destination.

Love Beckons


Love beckons,
From the light it calls,
From the dark it falls.
A voice of induction,
A voice of seduction.
Love beckons,
In distance it unveils,
In resistance if fails.
A whisper of tomorrow,
A whisper of sorrow.
Love reckons
The conclusion of strife,
The reclusion of life.
A maiden veiled in Light,
A maiden veiled in Shadow
Love beckons.

So Much


So much sin,

So much done
The past is mercy,

In need of His blood
So much pain,

So much guilt
The present is grace,

In need of His body.
Forgive the act forgive the meaning.
So much uncertainty,

So much unknown
The future is faith,

In need of His guide,
His beacon is compassion,

Lit for all.
Accept the different accept the low
His banner is wisdom,

Held for all.
Walk the path walk the way.
His beat is known,

Played for all
Go with the flow,

Go with the unseen
Trusting Him,

Loving Him
The relationship with Jesus, 
The path to the Father, the Well of Living Water

Walking The Path

Walking the path the fire of compassion just a spark within me my heart is bleeding sorrow the widow, the orphan, the lost and the pain When will we care, when will we love. For those who are lost for those who are trapped why do we watch? Walking the path of sorrow love is within me though it is an illusion. When will we act, when will we rise. For those clothed in religion for those oppressors of faith why do we praise? The call to serve the call to love the call to save, will we remain hidden? Idle of fear idle of pride, will the Hands of God remain tied? Walking the path of suffering faith is a faint star amidst our night sky I am searching searching to find the star that is not seen how will others find us if we do not shine how will others know us if we do not reveal. Walking the path of the straight and the narrow who will follow?


Enter Into The Unknown

Enter into the unknown, becoming that which is unseen. The chains of lust, the shackles of hatred, the curses of the flesh. Enter into the battle, becoming that which is distant. The promises of the world, the satisfaction of a void, the offers of the world. With faith you shall stand. With love you shall persevere. This sacrifice is my calling to you; this death is my beacon to you. Fall in with my soldiers, stand by their side. The message they deliver to you, the answer they carry for you. Enter into the unknown, becoming that which is unseen. The chains of lust, the shackles of hatred, the curses of the flesh. Enter into the battle, becoming that which is distant. Always remember. Time bares relevance only to your flesh, and never to your spirit. Your mind is always caught between them. The end will come; the end of flesh. In the spirit you will carry on. With my Son I have opened the door, with this cross I have secured you. Enter into Heaven, becoming one with Heaven…


Within This Chaos

I can not see, I can not be. The reality of who I am, the dream of who I am. The wind, it blows around me. The rain, it surrounds me. Within the center of chaos I stand, within the center of darkness I reside. I can feel no warmth, I can feel little. The gift of wisdom, the curse of knowing. All that I have seen…all that I have been…will this weight be lifted? Within the center of chaos I stand, within the center of darkness I reside. The wind passes as if I were not there; the rain falls as if I did not exist. Frozen in place, forgotten in space. From the chaos I arise, from the darkness I shine.

Sea of Words

Drowning in a sea of words wondering who would rise whispers of belief vespers of pride wondering who would stand. With hesitation I watch with silence I wait lost in this sea of words wishing someone would lead hoping someone will challenge. Will you take my hand will you hold my heart dreaming of a hero longing for a symbol a servant who would give it all a companion who would stand fast drowning in this sea of words looking to the horizon peering into the clouds to the one who will shatter these words with silence of heart arising from this sea of words my time has come standing on the promise of a Savior I have arrived for you... So much sin, so much done The past is mercy, in need of His blood So much pain, so much guilt The present is grace, in need of His body. Forgive the act forgive the meaning. So much uncertainty, so much unknown The future is faith, in need of His guide, His beacon is compassion, lit for all. Accept the different accept the low His banner is wisdom, held for all. Walk the path walk the way. His beat is known, played for all Go with the flow, go with the unseen Trusting Him, Loving Him The relationship with Jesus, the path to the Father, the Well of Living Water

Lost In The Moment

Lost in the moment, 
Wandering a field of emotion.
This moment is all I was given. 
Memories seep in,
I am lost in this moment.
Love I knew,
Love I can not embrace.
Is it fair,
This burden I bear?
Lost in that moment,
Losing a sense of feeling,
This moment I am driven.
Memories linger on.
I am lost to that moment.
Love I lost,
Love I will not know.
Is it fair,
This emotion I share?
Lost in the moment,
Wondering a life of battle.
This mission I was handed,
Memories fade.
Love I give,
Love I will not deny.
It is fair,
This heart I share.


A Call To Arms

A call to arms,
Arise warriors of faith!
Raise your compassion,
Raise your wisdom,
Raise your forgiveness!
A call to arms,
Awaken soldiers of love!
Prepare your mind,
Prepare your body,
Prepare your spirit!
The call has sounded,
Assemble all who will fight!


A Shadow Awaits


A shadow looms over me,
Trailing my every step.
You recede when I awake,
Only to lurk when I sleep.
You await me in the dark,
A whisper...
A doubt...
A shadow looms over me,
Trailing my every action,
You stand in the mirrors,
Only to vanish when I turn.
A pull...
A fear...
Trailing my every inspiration.
A shadow looms over me,
You cower when I stand,
Only to attack when I falter.
You watch me in the dark,
A demon...
A coward...
You wait no longer.

Where Is The Answer

I am falling,
Endlessly into the unknown,
Helplessly into the dark.
Where is the answer...
I am calling,
Echoing the sound,
Beckoning the bound.
Where is the answer...
This path I can not stray,
This shadow I cannot stay.
Where is the answer.
The wings that grows,
The power that knows.
Where is the answer,
This doubt that drains,
This fear that strains.
I am rising,
Gleaming with the Light,
Streaming with the Love.
I am calling,
Roaring the Call,
Tearing the chains.
The answer lies within.
Prepare yourselves.


In The Night Sky


I look to the stars,

Radiant and pure,

They shine with allure.

In the night sky hope resides,

Faithful and wise,

They guide without disguise.

I look to the stars,

Love and care,

They are always near.

In the night sky hope streams,

Beautiful and right,

They guide with light.

I look to the stars,

They are the memories,

Eternal and constant.

In the night sky we are dreaming,

Free and roaming.

They are our spirit,

Shining and bright.


The Poet's Heart


The poet came to this field alone,

His gaze set on the horizon.

The poet lost himself in thought,

His mind set on unknown.

The muse came to this poet unknown,

Her gaze set on the horizon.

The muse found herself in his thought.

Your words are your companions”

The muse whispered gently. “

Echo the beauty of the soul”

The muse smiled warmly.

Only you, my poet, may carry my words.”

The muse embraced her poet.

The poet felt his aura awaken,

His heart belongs to his muse.

The poet found his happiness,

His carries her message.

In the search for his muse,

The poet has walked alone.

In the field for her poet,

The muse has waited alone.

In their union they shine,

The poet still walks alone.

His heart set on the horizon.


Lies Remain


After how many lies do we find truth?
Lies of words lies of thought,
How much of our heart will they claim?
After how much torment do we find peace?
Words of hate thoughts of greed,
How much of our trust will they break?
After love has gone,
Hearts of void souls of shadow,
How much of our care will remain?


Prisoner of Thought


I am a prisoner,
Trapped beneath the flow.
How did I come here?
My mind sees more than my eyes perceive,
Is the reality I am know? 
I am a prisoner,
Trapped beneath what I know.
How did find it?
My dreams hold more than my memories,
Is this the past I am to accept?
I am a prisoner,
Trapped in my conscious. 
How did I awaken?
My heart holds more than my pain,
Is this the future I am to allow?
I am a prisoner,
Released by hope,
How do I lead others?
My will continues forward,
This is the life I know.

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