Excerpt for Memories... (Queerish Poetry) by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

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Copyright 2017 © George Petais All rights reserved




















Q U E E R I S H



  1. KEENAN

  2. ORGASM

  3. OUT OF PLACE

  4. WOUNDED CONFIDENCE

  5. FRIDAY NIGHTS

  6. CANCER

  7. DISHEARTENED

  8. SPORTS DAY

  9. HOW WE USED TO BE

  10. HEAVEN SKY

  11. BOISTEROUS BOYS

  12. LOVE TEXT

  13. CRUCIFIED

  14. DADDY

  15. MOUNTAINS

  16. COLOURING BOOKS

  17. INNER PEACE

  18. BOYFRIEND + GIRLFRIEND

  19. APPS

  20. FOR HIM

  21. BDSM

  22. TRADITION

  23. BLACK COWBOY

  24. THE FUNERAL

  25. DO NOT DISTURB

  26. CROSSING THE ROAD

  27. EVERY BOY, EVERY FATHER, EVERY SAILOR

  28. INITIAL OF THE BOY I LOVE

  29. MISOGYNY

  30. SEX SCENE

  31. JOSELITO

  32. MASOCHIST

  33. PLAYSTATION ONE

  34. THE REAL WORLD

  35. IT’S NOT A DREAM

  36. MUNDANE ACTIVITIES

  37. WORD PLAY

  38. FAGGOTS ARE CONTAGIOUS

  39. JOCKSTRAP + GLORY HOLE

  40. LOVE YOU AGAIN

  41. QUEERISH POETRY

  42. ACCEPTANCE

  43. SELF-LOVE

  44. TAKE MY LAST WORDS + SUCK THEM

KEENAN




There was a black cowboy

I didn’t know his name

We met at the rodeo

The rodeo underneath heaven’s sky

I saw his soul through the cigarette smoke

Keenan was on the run

We never spoke of our hardships

I saw the scars on his hands

The burns on his wrists

Some words are best left unspoken


He took me for who I was

Homeless on the highway

Poor and a loser

We didn’t fuck underneath the stars

He didn’t count his money in front of me


He mistook me for the unenthused

I felt the warmth of his blood

The tears of his cool

I loved the sound of his zipper unzipping


The moonshine glazed over his wounds

They healed like the scars of my childhood

‘Show me your master,’ Keenan said

I don’t have a master I muttered

Why are some of us controlled and pushed to the brink of death

Sexuality skin

Sexuality skin

Minorities

I loved how he said Sexuality skin

Keenan said, ‘I’m glad I found you, you’re not

like the other boys, I’m glad I found a friend.’


And a friend indeed and a love so pure and electrifying


ORGASM




Every

Load

I

Drop

I’m

Reborn



Every

Tear

I

Cry


Every

Place

I

Ran

To



I’m

In

Love

With

You


OUT OF PLACE




I feel so out of place

Because you alienated me

It’s okay

Someone somewhere feels the same

I hate this feeling of being out of place in the world

No role models

None


It’s the little things you say

It’s the images in the media

It’s the way I’m marginalized


It makes me

Pull my hair out

Cut myself

Want to die

It makes me feel so alone

Even my community hates me

All it takes is inclusion

All it takes is a smile

To remind me I’m human


Opinions rammed down my throat

Tradition

Fuck tradition

I’m untraditional

I’m beautiful behind the taunts

I’m unique

Fuck you

Nobody asked what you think












HE SAID THE WORLD FUCKS YOU UP AND ASKS POLITELY COULD YOU PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER?



WOUNDED CONFIDENCE




His humour was a wall that never let me in

His demons were endless and we drank endlessly

Psychotically trading photographs of our mothers

They taught us how to love

They told us it was wrong to kiss and hold hands


I hated my mother and I hated his

And together we burnt their photographs and rejoiced

It was such a magical night

Underneath stars I cried on his shoulder


Little by little I mended

Waves stealing sand

I probably fell in love

Our conversation flowed

No awkward silences

And he was still there in the morning

Lonely child he was cooler than me













I SAID I’M GLAD YOU CALL IT HOW I SEE IT LOVE THY NEIGHBOR THIS IS A CRUEL WORLD A SELFISH WORLD AND I’M ECSTATIC TO HAVE YOU IN IT


FRIDAY NIGHTS




It was a hex to your heart

It was a moment

I kissed you

I froze

And nobody said a word

I loved you and it was acceptable


You were stronger and your friends drove

They laughed and ignored us conversing

I let you touch me in the backseat

I was vulgar and whispered secrets

I wanted your diamond moments

I wanted to examine your satin


I smoked and your friends stopped for petrol

I saw a moment and took your switchblade

I cut myself so you could drink

Food I gave you glorious food

I stretched as far as I could go

So you could feast and drink and have fun

Your friends were speeding

And that’s when I took your hand

I sucked your fist and tasted myself

I wanted to take you home

I wanted to be alone


CANCER




A lump that grew

A tumour was a hamburger

Chemotherapy was delicious

Tubes that squeeze pieces of you

I only ever think of you

Ragged body wrinkly skin

Bones snapping your pencils

Your eyes

Would you fuck me like this?

Give me a moment of pleasure


The doctor strokes my head as I cry

Your face blurs

I cannot control my body my words

My hunger wanes

The tubes get lighter and filter through my veins

I see light and open my mouth to your waves


Pizza slices when we went on our first date

We hid our hands under the table

A halo scars me

I see you fading and the doctor gives me drugs

I want to smell your cologne a little longer

A tumour grows like a crush and your laughter haunts me

The tubes run from my nose and you regurgitate

The tumour finally takes control and leaves me breathless








I SAID NEVER LET ME GO

NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME

AND HE LAUGHED AND SAID

I KNOW SOME GUYS WHO COULD SHOW YOU LOVE

I THINK YOUR HEART JUST NEEDS A LITTLE MENDING


SOME TLC

SOME WEED

SOME FUN


DISHEARTENED




Truth is

I’m oversensitive

I used to believe in justice

I used to believe in equality

But it seems life is unfair

I hope there’s a heaven and hell

I have to believe there is


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