Excerpt for Nothing Official As Such by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

Nothing Official As Such


By Hiranya Borah

Copyright 2017 Hiranya Borah

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank You for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favourite authorized retailer.

Thank you for your support.


I have written this book after I am getting lot of inspiration from the number of field visits across the country under taken by me in the last one year as a part of my official duties. However, the book as named, is nothing to do with my official duties.

2nd October, 2019 is the target date for making India open defecation free (ODF). All the stakeholders are taking all necessary steps to achieve this particular goal without any dilution.

I also whole heartedly involved myself in this noble cause and as a part of my duties, I have to go to different places to know about the ground reality of the progress in the direction of declaring entire country ODF by October, 2019. Without saying, it might be the greatest success story of modern India.

First part of the book contains few poems related to environment, cleanliness and problems faced by the ladies due to lack of proper toilet facilities.

However, always there is a funny side of any serious story. Here I want to tell you some of imaginary funny stories, not necessarily related with the implementation of the present scheme. The characters described in the stories are fictitious and are not real. If any resemblance of any character is observed, it is mere coincidence only.

The last story, elephant power is based on a news item published few years back where a herd of elephants saved the lives of many persons in a similar circumstances in Assam as I described in this book. Some portions of the story is based on my childhood memories of riding on elephants without saddle and offering of rice and paddy to the visiting elephants to my parental home. I try to project the news item to a true love story between a person and female jumbo. Hope my readers will like the love story between a man and an animal.

I hope readers will also like my poems and stories associated with cleanliness. The contents of the book may be taken in the right prospective. Readers are requested not to take the book a satirical one.

Thanks to my readers and friends and above all my family for their constant support to write something usual and unusual. I love them all.

Thanks to Smashwords for publishing this story book along with my other books.


Conserve Water

Water, water, water is everywhere;

Not a single drop to drink.

Stuck in the midst of a sea,

The Great Emperor thundered;

In disgust; two centuries ago.

His distracters were happy;

His followers shed tears.

I was terrified to visualize;

The thirsty faces of the lower ranked soldiers.

They were ready to offer their blood and sweat;

To quench the thirst of the masters!

I saw the fear of death, a slow but sure death,

In the eyes of low ranked soldiers.

Middle level officers were on the next line;

To prove their loyalty.

Nemesis claims, many were thrown;

To the unending wavy salt water;

Many were killed.

His worshippers never believed;

The claim made by his Nemesis.

After two hundred odd years;

A small nut like me;

Cried for a glass of water to drink;

In the ocean of muddy water;

Black water, grey water and so on.

None is ready to shed blood and sweat for me;

To quench my thirst.

I am looking at my son;

I am looking at my daughter;

They are carrying canister of black water;

They have to quench their thirst with black water;

By filtering them;

That is the only way to survive.

I am looking at few generations down the line,

None is appeared to be alive;

All are lying like lifeless animals;

Not a single drop of water to drink.

None is there to hear me;

None is there to criticise me,

None is there to disregard me,

None is there to praise me.

All are appeared to be dead;

Not a single drop of water to drink.

Muddy Water: I am the Ruler of my Destiny

Water with mud is coming out;

From each and every tap;

All I could survey.

All trees have been fallen;

To the axe of the ruler.

Ruler is not independent;

He has an old father.

He used to like flowers;

One day he plucked all the flowers for his flower show.

All his followers praised the ruler;

For the beauty and fragrance of the flowers.

For the assassinated flowers;

The trees cried silently.

The tears of the trees;

Flowed from hills to the plains;

Created havoc for the subjects living on the foothills.

Years entered into the history books;

None realized ‘history repeats itself’.

King can do no mistake;

The old proverb says.

The young king imported;

Sharper but sturdy axes;

To cut the hapless trees;

Of the Hills; of the plains.

He ordered for obstructions;

For the river; for the rivulets;

To construct our houses and our hotels.

Mud is running down;

Breaking all our houses and hotels.

Young Ruler blames cutting of trees;

Obstructions of the rivers!

Old ruler blames his father for cutting the trees!

No one wants to take the blame,

Each one blames others.

Do you know, who is the ruler?

I am the ruler,

You are the ruler.

We all are the rulers of our fateful destinies.

We have destructed the forests;

Obstructed the rivers and rivulets.

Now everywhere, every corner,

We see the streams of muddy water;

Up to the knee heights.

Water bottles were supplied to the marooned people;

To strengthen the hands of the ruler;

To order more destruction of the forests,

To make more obstructions for the river and rivulets;

By constructing buildings and resorts.

Now you know the ruler;

I am the ruler of my destiny.

You are the ruler of your destiny.

We all are rulers of our destinies.

We may pray in unison at least for once,

God save us;

From the catastrophe we are sitting on;

Oblivious of our own deeds of destructions!!

My Lover Whom I Could Not Make My Wife

She is twenty-four.

Her eyes are as beautiful as lotus-bud!

Her hairs are curvy black like clouds of Monsoon!

Her lips are as red as seeds of pomegranate!

Her face resemblances with the full moon!

All are nonsense!

These are the descriptions of a beauty;

Described by a poet of few generations ago.

Those beauties are the products of imagination of a poet;

Who might be relieving himself at a bank of a river;

Looking at the sky.

He never thought;

Those beauties are also human being.

They also have to attend for the nature’s call;

They also need privacy for that!

They were made Goddess of love;

None thought for their privacy.

The society imposed a veil to cover her face;

But the same society never thought;

For relieving one has to expose everything;

Because they are also human being!

At the age of twenty-five,

I fell in love with a girl of twenty-four;

Having all the qualities;

The old poet had described many times before.

I became mad for her;

I promised to marry her one day.

I always imagined her beauty;

Beyond the artificial skin of cloths;

Covering all her body!

She also loved me;

Ready to be my partner of life;

She promised to bare everything to me;

Only for me in private.

I imagined her bare body;

Which is not even seen by the sun;

After she attained adulthood.

She might be so pure;

Her every part of the body must be so delicate;

Sunshine can tan her smooth skin.

I want to make her my life partner;

Partner of happiness;

Partner of togetherness.

But alas God has a different idea;

My visit to her home,

Evaporated my love for her;

Hatred for her body and mind;

Engulfed my heart and soul.

All her body had already been exposed;

To the Sun, to the jungle, to the bushes.

I imagined, how some youths of her village,

Might have peeped through the bushes,

To see her bare body;

That she promised to bare before me;

Only before me;

Only after our marriage.

I am not the poet,

Who thought his lover is a Goddess;

Free from human needs

And free from attending call of nature.

The Goddess of the poet does not need privacy,

She is above the domain of lesser mortal.

My lover was a human being,

She needed privacy;

Which was never provided by her parents.

Let her stay with her unconcerned parent,

I thought for a while and left her forever!!!!!

Beauty from Inside

My poet friend told;

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!

My priest told me;

God loves the clean;

Clean from inside;

Not from outside.

I am confused;

Who is beautiful and clean?

I am yet to meet the God;

Will He like to meet me;

In dirty cloths;

With a body not cleaned for months together?

Will a damsel like to see me;

In torn dirty cloths;

Hands not washed for months together?

For a poet,

For a romantic man,

In his imagination,

The answer may be yes.

He will argue,

Love is blind, it can go beyond your outward look.

In a romantic novel,

I found a girl went on to marry a pauper;

Kicking the proposal of a billionaire;

For the sake of love.

I found N number of girls;

In my vicinity,

Who are ready to kick their lovers;

For marrying millionaire!

In a romantic classic;

A frog became a prince;

Getting a kiss from a beauty.

I saw many girls screaming;

At the very sight of a frog;

Leaping towards them!

I read beauty and the beast;

Their immortal love story;

Saw nothing similar in my neighborhood.

For the unreal world,

Beauty from inside is worshipped.

In the real world;

One cannot peep into the inside of a person;

Unless God is more than kind enough;

To you and your vision.

I am not blessed;

I judge a person from his cleanliness from outside;

I expect same from you;

As an ordinary person.

I maintain total hygiene;

Do you?

Why I Am Killed

My dead body is lying in the field,

Body is still half naked.

My family is looking for me;

They will cry, they will weep;

Discovering my half naked body.

Who killed me?

That is not important for me.

Why I was killed?

That is important;

Not only for me;

But for them also who are going to be killed;

In the coming days.

Whom to blame;

For my untimely death?

Law will take its own course;

Killers may be caught;

They may be tried;

They may be hanged.

Another young lady will be killed;

Killers may be caught again;

They may be tried again;

They may be hanged again.

Killing of young lady will continue;

After a gang rape.

Trial will continue…..

None is interested to know:

Why I am killed?

Only I know why I am killed;

I had to go for attending a nature’s call;

At the midst of the night;

Some roaming animals saw me in the darkness.

They dragged me to the field;

Gang raped and killed me.

I would not have died;

Had my parents constructed a loo;

Inside our premises.

Money was not the problem;

Will to construct a loo was the problem;

For my parent and for the parents;

Whose daughters are lined up;

For gang rape and to be killed;

By the animals, disguised as human being!

Chapter I: Excursion

Purchase this book or download sample versions for your ebook reader.
(Pages 1-14 show above.)