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Excerpt for Dark Haiku Sex Life by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

Dark Haiku Sex Life
by Kennie Kayoz
Copyright 2018 Coyotes Publishing
Smashwords Edition

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As we walk through life, we try to stay positive.
However there are times in our lives that the positivity fades away and the darkness takes over.
No matter how frequent or seldom it seems we know that it is apart of life.
I would like you to follow my journey into

The Darkside


Shadows

You sit in the darkness wondering what death would be like.
Thinking that it's the place that you see yourself in right now.
Your alone, nobody is around you. Only you can hear yourself breathe.
The thoughts inside your head become louder, you begin wondering if they're true.

Earlier in the day hateful things were said to you, they didn't stop all day.
You wondered if this was the time you chose, the time you were waiting for.
Wondering what things would be like when your not around.
Thinking that your life would be so much better.

Your courage builds as the shadows seep into your brain
They run through your body as they race through out the veins.
Thinking that's the perfect thing for you to do.
Death is what you want, it'll make it all go away.

It's not what anyone wants.
Deep down you don't want it, your stuck in the moment.
Death is a permanent solution for temporary problems.
My hand is reaching for you.

Let me be the one who pulls you from drowning in the shadows.
The darkness that dwells within.
Let's cast a light upon that.

Kennie


Spinning Sensation

Laying in bed starring up at the ceiling as your room is draped in darkness.
Your thoughts get the best of you, the ceiling begins to spin.
Quickly rubbing your eyes you think your losing your mind.
As your eyes regain focus your finding it spinning faster and faster.

As you fight to look away, to look at anything else you can't.
Your body is frozen to the bed, you can't move, your helpless.
Starting to hear sounds going on around you as your fixated on it.
Voices in your head that you didn't know was there creeps in.

They sound like they're mumbling at first, unsure of what to make of it.
As the spinning seems to get lower it's all that you can see.
No matter where you look your vision is engulfed with the hypnotic circles.
Giving it all that you have got.

Screaming louder than the voices have in your mind
Squeezing your eyes shut as tight as they can be.
Counting backwards, trying anything to wake up from this nightmare.
When you open your eyes, you see.....

The Knife

Kennie


The Knife

Look at that beautiful thing, the chrome just glows in the light.
I could barely take my eyes off of it when the light lit up the room.
Look whose tied to the chair, it was almost a wish that was granted.
As I walk forth and my morbid intentions become just so much more.

You were such a toxic person, but you just had to inject yourself into her life.
Not sure how you won her over, I knew you were no good for her.
Everytime I walked passed you in the hallways my gut clenched
Countless years later I found out what you did to her.

You don't deserve the life that you lead.
If it was up to me, you deserve to sit in that chair and bleed.
Choosing to release your darkness that faithful day.
Perhaps it's time for my horns to come out.

Abashed the devil stood.
He shall feel how awful goodness is.
As you destroyed the virtue in her shape.

Kennie


My Voice

The only way I have a voice
When I write my thoughts
They really do get heard more

Kennie

Myself

I wouldn't be much of a speaker.
My thoughts would be bleaker
The outcome shall be what one seeker

Kennie


Throne

Perched upon the throne I contemplate life.
As the remnants of dinner.
Became a after thought of the day.

Kennie


The Mall

The Mall

It all started with innocent conversation, then the two decided to meet up. The choice was a mall, nice public outing that they could get together and see how they really felt around each other. The meet up happened and they chose to walk around the mall a few times, stopping into a few stores here and there. They also continued to talk and get to know one another, it was almost like they already knew each other as pieces were being put together like it was a puzzle being built before there eyes while they walked around.

She was sweet, caring and loving, he was shy as fuck. Not much conversation came from his end but he tried and she was very understanding with him which did put him at ease since he's always been shy as fuck, always had trouble talking. But they walked around, the conversation would be heavily one sided but he would add a bit here and there.

After a few trips around the mall she asked him if they could step outside, she was a smoker. He grew up around smokers so it didn't bother him one bit, they stepped outside found a curb to sit on while she lit up, the conversation continued as she smoked.

The conversation wasn't anything sexy or dirty, just general conversation. When she finished her smoke he being the gentleman he is, outreached his hand and helped her up. With her being much shorter than he is, since he did tower over her, he started to feel something and thought to himself "It's time to take a chance, it may not be a big deal to others but to him it was"
He said with a very shaky voice "would you like a hug ?" she looked at him and replied with a "yes" the hug happened, she could feel him shake as they embraced.
She knew this was a big step for him and didn't want to push him, while they embraced a smile grew across his face.

They ventured back into the mall and did a few more laps around the mall
When they ventured back into the mall, she reached over and took his hand and held it while they continued to walk.
After they continued with the laps they took around the mall they decided to call it a day.
Once agian being the gentleman he is, he walked her out to her car. They continued to talk along the way, by this time he started to talk more feeling more comfortable with her. A few more hugs happened through the mall while they walked around.

When they got to the car they proceeded to say there "good byes". Thoughts went through his head, he thought about how his first chance went, he thought to himself "I'm going to take another chance, I know this isn't like me but this is what my heart says"
So while they were talking by her car, once agian she lit up a smoke. When the conversation ended he stepped in close to her and put his hand gently on her face, he bent over and locked lips with her. It was only a short kiss, nothing long or romantic as he was afraid of the outcome from it. His head then dropped and he said "bye" and turned around to walk away. She reached towards his hand and grabbed his hand, he turned back and looked at her when she reached her hand up to him and pulled him down for her to kiss him back.
At the end of the kiss they went there seperate ways..

Only to meet up yet again....

Ten

Why, are expectations so high ?
People set these high demands and aren't happy unless they reach them.
But when I release something I'm happy if it just hits ten.
Ten reads is all my expectations ever go to.

I usually reach that on the first day
Anything more than that is just bonus.
I know not many people seek me out.
In order to read what the latest thing I've written.

Poetry is a lost art form.
Most of them are found on blogs.
People have resorted not to publish things.
To showcase talent through the world of blogs.

Or community driven websites.
I post mine on a handful of sites.
Then I release it to be distributed.
It use to be read, or so it seems.

Now it's just what I can dream.
I hope for things to get higher than they do.
But it's tough to do when it's a lost art form.
This is the bar I set, always keep it low.

I know
It's such a small number that at times I hope.
One day things will change and I can count higher.
I doubt it will happen.

Millions of other poets but no body searches us out.
We do things our own way.
In hopes of people finding there own way to us.

Kennie


Grey Area

Sit down and read the thoughts of a morbid one
Writing positive things I thought that's what I wanted in life.
Thought it would help me change.
Was hoping a different outcome.

As I lay in bed the thoughts that go through my head are anything but wholesome.
I spend much time analyzing my past and getting bullied.
Drowning myself in the sorrow that keeps getting deeper.

Bullying is always a sensitive subject with myself.
Going through it first hand I understand why people go to extremes.
What they fail to talk about in the news stories.
Is the one who retaliated tried to stop it, felt like they had no choice left.

Kennie


H8t3

You couldn't walk a mile in our shoes.
Your a hater step off, Don't do nothing boy.

Speaking from first hand getting bullied from nine to three.
I did everything in my power to keep it together in front of people.
Once I got into my house and that door was shut, the truth came out.
The tears streamed down my face, I found my room and stayed hidden.

I skipped classes, got pulled into the principals office daily.
My grades suffered very little people cared.
April 20th came around I remember almost every class the radio was on.
Next day they began to claim I was the next one.

It's almost like they turned it up a notch.
Making it that much more difficult for me.
I lost my mind and started to do things I normally wouldn't.
One night I got out a sharp object, started to cut myself.

Still have that scar to this very day.
One girl seen it in the library, she gave me shit.
I took off for her not to see me again until several years down the road.

You couldn't walk a mile in our shoes.
Your a hater step off, Don't do nothing boy.

When things like that happen I can't help but feel sorry for the ones committing.
I don't condone that sort of action nor do I think it's right.
It's amazing how many parents get defensive.
I know 99.9% of parents if they found out how there kid act.

Would be completely shocked and claim "that's not my kid"
If your kid acted the way they do around you, certain things never would happen.

You couldn't walk a mile in our shoes.
Your a hater step off, Don't do nothing boy.

Kennie


Flawed Human

Yes, I'm a flawed human. I suffer from similar flaws as the rest of my species.
As much as I try to hide certain emotions they do creep in like pieces.
Of a puzzle, but I can only showcase those in hopes of people.
Understanding that's the way he made me and it's not any loop hole.

I can't even say I'm a beautiful mess since I sit with the lights off.

In one way or another I like to hide my face so I leave something to mystery.
I don't have much interesting things about me but yet I continue to write history.
A few ways might have me be a rubix, as things get twisted and shuffled.
They're still trying to figure me out and what I stand for has many baffled.

Expectations for me are so high
It makes me wonder why
People see something great in me.
As I continue to write my own thoughts down.
What they don't see is no smile, but mostly a frown.

Have I set my bar to low.
I can't keep up because my mind runs slow.
Compared to others.
For some reason it bothers

Other people with the bad habit I have of talking down about me.
Even though they don't see it, it's what I see.
When I look in the mirror

Kennie



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