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Excerpt for The Dark Side of My Heart by , available in its entirety at Smashwords










The Dark Side of My Heart

By Stephany Vivas

































2018 Second Edition.
ISBN: 9781370846153
Published by stephany vivas at Smashwords

Distributed by Smashwords.

Copyright 2018 stephanyvivas
















Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Afraid

I am afraid there is no

Word you can ever know

to understanding,

how much I fear of my life

I want to be brave

and you want me to be the hero,

it terrifies me.

When will you see?

I am afraid for you.

I am afraid I will lose you,

being only me.


Your eyes tell me a story

you cry when happy,

you laugh when sad.

You never talk about your heart

Afraid is dead.

You sleep on a couch

with a dog,

the only one who knows you.

You are always negative, pessimist.

And hope secretly for the best.

The colors are all the same to your eyes,

Black is the light in life.

You don’t give love, anyone can love you.

It may be seen you are free,

A cage is the best home for you.

A story is what you are.

My own book to write.

A ghost, busy on a street.


No more pain,

No more fear.

Run, never get tired.

Feel the wind on my skin

Free to feel feelings.

No more hurt,

No more sadness

Laugh at my sour face.

Get dirt in my feet.

Crave a hug from a stranger.

See light in the dark,

Flashes of lightning, roars of thunders,

Free to be free.


The silence is insane

Words are not said.

The word screams a name.

Same one, all over again.

Still you are in my solitude

The emptiness drives me insane.

Every cellular knows you better than me.

Nothing is the only thing.

Colors, shapes, and feelings.

You are nothing

Enough, emptiness.

This solitude is insane,

Enough, emptiness.


Infinity suit you.

Forever is too short.

No doubt left.

Is right to know you, to have you.

We are everything needed.

Infinity is all there is to us.

This life of ours is the plan for infinity.


No more tears spill over life.

No more crying.

Words are overrated.

The carry no meanings.

Feelings are lost.

They do not get you any place.

No more wanting that thing that does not exist.

One broken heart is the limit.

No more tired attempt to love.

There is no more.


A heart stands still.

Beats have no rhythm

Sounds are no longer heard.

Love fails to the heard, hollow beats.

Blood is running in a silence dance.

A color that it fills the heart, no paint is left to admire.

No sounds out of a hollow beat.


Nothing comes up to mind

Is an infatuation

Nothing comes to mind

Is a miserable feeling

You are far away

Inside you are more than near

How do I know is true

Or just a fantasy.

You are my own game

You make all the rules

And the score is at you favor.


The world stop

The moment I saw you

The universe freeze just for you

Not a dream

Sure enough a great moment

Years and days could never be enough to recreate such

Moment

A perfect place, perfect time, perfect all.

All for me now, later and forever.


Eyes collide

Heart overjoyed

Mind on a ride

Time for love

Perfect serendipity

Your eyes fix on mine

Bright full of life

The amber of morning the dark of night

The perfect mix of love on two lives.


Sleep is my enemy

You invade all my dreams

My eyes get tired

You are the one keeping me awake

Time is far away from my mind

I see your smile and my heart beats faster

You are the one keeping me alive

Far from a rest.


They say we are crazy

That is for sure.

But crazies like us never two.

We are us, not for you just for us.


You were a star

Everybody loved you

Shining in the dark

Bright like a light.

Love change your heart

You no longer are.

All you said all you did

Nothing matters now.

I cried for you

You just looked away

Love change your heart

You no longer are.

You are the forgotten one.


It hurt the words

You do not say.

You ignored your life

No more time for fun

You are empty

You are lost in another world

No longer alive

True

Real

You are hurting your life.

My life.

Forget about love too.


I was alive wanted life.

Useful in the world

Safe in the universe.

The queen of the world.

I could have been ruler.


The need to know you,

To be where you are.

Are the little things you do?

Where the heart may be that is all,

Still there is more.

Sparks to dive deep

Find the true about

Your feelings.


Is it fair?

Alone in the night,

I still think of you.

Every second my heart beats, is for you.

Every thought is for you and only you.

There is so much a person can take.

It overwhelms the love that runs through me.

Is it more for one heart to bear over the time?

Can this thing called love be my own death?

My own sentence, a way to die for.

I have to confess

I still think of you.

There is not a dream and a sigh

That involves you.

Anyone can see you are for me.

Only you do not see it.

Every word, is written for you

It is you.


The way you look at me,

The way you see me when I am sad.

Even when you think I am alone

That is the moment when I think more about you.

It burns so much.

Every fiber there is on my being

That tangible feeling of euphoria

When you are near me.

Those simple smooth smiles you give almost fade.

That little thing you do with your nose.

Those are the lovely affects you have over this

Hopeless romantic heart.


When you ignored me

That is when I love you more.

When you stop talking

That is when I hear you most.

When you are sad

That is when I appreciate you more.

When you smile is when I feel you more.

When you say “I love you”

Is when I more than ever live for you?


My heart could not take it.

Never have it beaten so loud

How could a love like yours

be enough to live?

How can anyone deny such amazing gift?

How can anyone do the sacrifice you did.

Never will this be enough

Never will I forget your love.

It full my being

I overflows my soul.

Not even my bones can contain

such amazing undying love.


I cannot sleep

you keep being on my mind

every thought

every breath.

You have become my

Sandman

I sleep when you are awake

I am awake when you sleep.

My own nightmare,

my own worst enemy

you are my lost time.


After a long time

I finally know who are you?

Restless nights

Empty dreams

lonely days

Whenever the chance came

never you were the same.

Changes for better of worst

not even your eyes shine the same.


Hot day on summer

not even the leaves were moving,

the wind was lost

How could anyone lived

on such hot day

not even the rain was able to refresh


They had left me;

they no longer talk to me.

The wind carries them away;

there is no meaning to them.

They invade every space,

Left to be tame.

Insane,

seeking attention.

For some they have importance,

to me they mean you.

Their sound for you is to hear,

Trap in that mind of yours.

Keep them all,

forever in your heart.


So sweet, so pure.

Baby boy,

an angel so innocent so true

Baby boy

do not ever grow up.

The world is a place for you,

is not ready for you.

My sweet baby boy.



There is a story about a girl,

Rare, unique only one.

Flowers envied her

the wind wanted to by her side at all time.

Mother Nature her muse.

Her eyes two orbs of clarity,

when her laugh reaches the sky

the clouds stop to bathe in the sound.

Boys dare to touch her,

Endless stories, endless pictures.

She was infinity to life,

a wildflower with hardly a flaw.


The road to love is a bumpy one

There are roads hard to walk bare feet.

There are on that even air fails to exist.

Bridges seem that poses no end

The exits are often closed

The road to love is a mystery.

Some dare to say the know it.

They even say how to travel but it.


Straight up from a book.

Is he even real?

Walking sure of himself.

I wonder…

“Who is he?”

Smiling mysteriously.

Generous gestures mischievously,

with perfect pose.

Slide from one end to another.

Personal and keep to himself.

Walking defiant and dangerously calm.

No one knows him.

When he stops glory and power.

Flows all around him.

Time is by his side.

Tall and proud guarding up above.

Rounding the place,

looking out.

I ask myself,

“Who is he?”

“Where did he come from?”

Silently,

from one end to another,

he keeps his pace and strolled over the place.

The silent, mischievous man in white


You stroll smooth and unnoticed.

People know you

they respect you.

Have you notice me?

Have you seen me?

The way you carry yourself.

The way you provoke my eyes

to be aware that you are present.

How can I explain what you do?

When you pass by me.

My heart goes with you all by him.

You bring light and life when you go by.

The way you smile gets under my skin and

there are not enough goose bumps on my body.

Have you notice that breath you take whenever you walk.

Have you notice that rhythm my heart do for you.

I notice you.

I know you saw me.

Have you notice me at all?


When the time comes

Parting our ways.

Getting away from the one thing

We always love.

Our sweet times on the sofa,

The mornings cuddling on bed.

The afternoons with the radio,

On our favorite song.

And the nights where the TV was our enemy.

The small things you did,

I said I hated,

Yet they were the best of you,

They made you, they complete me.

The time when you leave,

My will try to remember

And life will get in the way.

Still my soul will go on with you.

The world will forget you,

People will never talk about you.

My soul will always see you here in my heart.


Always the words were” I won’t ever love you”

Here, life throws a curve ball and for the first time.

I cannot get you out of this dream.

Too much real.

Too much insanity.

I can believe I fell for you.

Not even a look, and here we go once more.

I think you got me bewitch.

Your sweet face,

Your silent mouth,

The way you glide.

Round and round.

I think is an infatuation.

You do not even know I exist.

And once more I accept the torture.

You look sure of every thought,

Every walk,

Every word kept quiet.

Totally irrevocably infatuation.


I keep looking at you,

Trying to keep you in my mind.

They way your eyes look at me,

They mirror my feelings,

Nonetheless I keep forgetting how you look.

The way you go by yourself,

I want to remember,

That face, sweet lips, perfect smile.

Those eyes, warm sight, amazing color.

I keep forgetting you.

I keep trying to remember your form.

How specimens so rare can keep

Flying away from my mind.

I want to draw you silhouette,

Imprint you on my heart,

And engrave you on my soul.

I do not want to remember to

Not forget you.


I still want it to be gone

Your smell

It follows me,

Around the corner

You’re Smile

Stalk me.

By the lamp post

You’re Touch

Harass my

Heart

Uncommonly enjoyable

Experience


That piece of knowledge

Was cherishing until the last nook of his heart.

Treasured

Forevermore

Until the end of his

Short miserable life.


Joel, Joel

Gloomy face, wicked laugh

That time you lived, splendid moments.

Joel, My Joel, not prepared for the

Horrified events of this world.

Joel, Joel you walked from one place to another

Keeping a fair space from people.

Joel solivagant on this planet,

Eternal lover.


The heart race after you.

Looking out for you.

He sees you and cant holds on.

Bolt out of my chest

Where would he go?

You don’t wait for him.

He sees you walking,

Never looking his way

Clearly he longs for and after you.


Strangely I still desire your kisses,

Conversely I still miss your touch.

By day pretending it does not holds my heart.

On nights dreams get real

Turning in nightmares

Keep me tossing and desperate.

I am still pinned on your love.

Hopelessly in a crash and burn love.


The more I think of him

The more I fell in love.

The more I see him

The more I found.

The more I hear his voice

The more deep

I drown at the sound.

The slowest time pass

The easiest is to love you.







You don’t really know me

I write to and about you.

Sometimes you are my lover

Others you are the villain.

A hero to the fantasies,

An antagonist in the real drama.

And just like that

Eternal in paper.


Not very bright

I tell you that

A little short up above your smile

You got the looks,

Not the brains.

You have the pretty boy side.

Baby is not working right.

Hate to break it

Is not going to last

Either way you are just a pretty face.

Boys like you do not

Deserve a girl like me.

You go down hard,

I like the view up here.


Rain comes down slowly

Pouring out of gray skies.

The radio keeps playing the same song over and over.

Murmuring words of love and infatuation.

The same picture of you

Stands alone on my bedside table.

The light hits it just perfect.

So simple so delicate moment.

We lay beside each other and the alluring sound

Makes this time in space untouchable.

Divine for the goddess, enchanting for the poets.


And then you found out what was the meaning you had to me.

The same importance I was to you


When you think time is enough to love,

Then it stops all together and every work done is lost.


Finding more...

The need to know you.

To be where you are.

Are the little things you do?


Sunflower you are my sun

Sunflower is are my fun

Sunflower is my song

Sunflower be my power

Sunflower be the only flower.


Thank you for reading my book.

If you enjoyed it, won’t you please take a moment to leave me a review at your favorite retailer?

Thanks!



Stephany is a hopeless Romantic.

She’s been writing since very young.

She has a very sarcastic mind,

but when she is not being funny,

she is reading a new book or writing.

Get the latest on her Instagram

to find more about her up coming Poetry collection




The Sun and The Moon,

Self-published in February 2018 as part of a gift and later turn into a book.

Tells the story of how the sun and the moon fell in love, including several poems.

Available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

You can see more of her latest poetry

or short quotes on her Instagram:svf87.



Download this book for your ebook reader.
(Pages 1-18 show above.)