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Copyright © 2018 by Julio Carlos

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ISBN: 9780463595893


Although there are no explicit sexual expressions, this book contains strong language and content that might evoke self-harm/suicidal thoughts. Please DO NOT read this book if you are dealing with extreme depression, present self-harming/suicidal tendencies or are a person under 18 years old.

If you continue your reading, you admit by consent that you are fully aware of the risks and fully capable of reading this work of poetry without any possible consequence whatsoever.

Disclaimer: The author does not intend to motivate any of the behaviours expressed in this work. This is a form of expression and relief from the author.

The publisher and the author are not responsible for any of the possible consequences that might arise from the reading of this book regarding any individual or group of individuals that might do things to themselves or to others.


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Table of contents

- Griever poems

- Some words of the author


Heart’s dust

souls, remnants of pieces

after a scattering blast.

Minds split


madness and apathy... wrath.

What's worth?

To have.

To trust.


Million chances given

to those who have only wasted

to have the sweetest of loves,

that only few have ever tasted.


Valueless they say...

Priceless they crave.

Highest of expects,

coins of unworth,

for free, to have and destroy.


Bowed my head

and they stepped on my neck.

Learnt to rise to the wake.

Love, cared,

thrown into forgetfulness.

Same old story.

Same old stanza.




Ages detaching

from all felt,

parasites in me

whispering lies

the lies i wanted to hear.


a faded glimpse of thought hope.

So much told.

To hold, to pray, to love.


How could they say such

if mouths didn't want to know

how much i was torn?!

i moved on.


People change

modified same,


and over.

The blind,

the awoke

and those who neglect to see

walk senseless,

wasting energies

to nonsense achieve.

Why do we live?

Life is purposeless in itself.


Shiny shoes

face grown old

steps taken

towards the status of miserable.

Lost sight

so much to be seen

bellies gaining fat

pockets screaming greed.

As curves sell in tight dresses,

attached files that crest

everybody moves

following the rest.


A set of rhymes

accordingly aligned.

A poem at best.

Description of things

used as Humanity's vest.

Simple words indeed,

as instincts rule

demanding bodies to feed.

A set of rhymes.

A poem, it seems...

as we all wander

inside realities

that turn out to be dreams.


Various strips

straw-grass fields

the gone imagery

from your eyes.

May i see

what other observe of me

for i think

i am as blind of me as i can be.


Assurance of insecure

to the doubtful

because if you believe enough it,

it turns out to be true.



failing in our tries,

because we are perfect,

and the world is unjust.




Unconsciously waiting

what's told forgotten,

eyes searching

what turns out to be nothing.

Throats dry

and hearts keep pumping

blasts of regret,

along constant numbing.


Let me dream

of love and caress

while i alone aside stand,

appreciating my mind’s mess.

Let me imagine

what i left inside.

Allow me to feel lonesome

but complete in my misery,

for the more i try

the more broken i become

as you feed my vain hopes

to keep searching someone you are not.

Let me be the waste

many have known the taste,

let me be the rash

that so many left to waste.


Walking dangerously loose

with hands on clouds,

thoughts on the search

of a home,

inside my head.

Inside my head

a hell frozen cold.


i am the problem,

the reason of my sadness

fucked up

being long time

a lover of Madness.


Not enough words to say

what is felt,

for what is felt

is complete,

in a broken self.


Pain... a word so used.

Not understood enough,

still running from it

like it was bad stuff.



fazing off,







How lost am i

in thoughts that fool me

saying that i still am myself?

i’m found lost

and i am lost,



Diverging from.... a self

to a...self

incomplete as free,

as loving as.... a self.



of a loving loneliness.

Lingering pleasurable sadness...


As light fades

darkness consume...

i lose myself

in the light of an absent moon.

Hopes are as before said,

lost as well. Again.


Ironic enough to say,

Squeezing lemons that dust taste.

‘Don’t !!!’

Do, not...

touch my,

awake the...

Don’t !!!

... you dare!..

That we’ve met, forget.

What you saw in me,

what you felt...





i don’t want to live this again.



What are those?

my mind twists

from second to second,

since a second ago.

Tortures of nothings

pain now vain.


I forgot how to feel numbness.



i wish

to not have a direction to go.


i say,

and dream

of what didn’t happen

long... seconds ago.


Oh, i wish i’d,

so i didn’t wish,

so i didn’t see.


Badly fucked up,

but completely functional.



of how shallow people are...

The worthlessness of feeling...

Generation of the value,

depressed, anxious and dumb.

Oh, what a lovely time to die.



Of children stolen

for a husband

by death toed,


never given a chance

to see her babies gone,

mad, tears filled her face

in breaths of alcohol


never known,

ceased existence,

a stranger on the floor.





Man of words

arms of the furious.

Protector of made souls,

lover of queens standing in rows,

a picture faded,

on his lap, me,

so innocent so free

irreplaceable by other.



A never known father.


i chose the life of the unknown

given away pride

dropped sense of a once found soul.

i chose the uncertain

for it’s better

than the illusion of knowledge.

To be lost over to be loved

to be owned over to receive.


lost myself in my sanity,

deviated from the paths of reason.


chose smiles with tears

instead of glowing eyes and smirks.


The only thing i can give you,

is a smile full of tears.


The complex intrigues,

the simple is beautiful to admire






In sadness the poet’s words flow.


Everything seems so stupid

after a lap around the world.

Seen... All.

Idiotic, it seems to be,

when engaging emotionless,

as despair loneliness stirs.


Choosing to stay still

as the reason of loving

becomes a dying will.

Understood are not

the whies of such.

Succumbing into.

A sinking dive.


Emotions to places unwelcomed

expected by someone unknown.

Lost as a vanished point found.

Paper filled with ink,

written words with no value.

Devoted thoughts

unchangeable tomorrows.

Fooling beauties,

looks innocently happy.



follow the finger,

stay away from dreams

and with darkness sink deeper.

Hey, i say

pleading love higher. A satire.


walking for eons

forgetting to get tired.


Tears drawn.

It’s unworthy to cry.

Weakness stale in eyes

Strengths heard in strides.

Enough lived

to get tired of it all,

the wish of having a will tossed

inside the frozen depths of my i.

‘Thoughts thinking thinking thoughts’

I think about thoughts,

that wander on their wonderings, crossed.

At first, ‘It wouldn’t make any sense’

I thought.

But thoughts about thoughts

is a thing to think about.

Who’d have thought of it?

A thought thinking thoughts.

Who’d have thought about it?

Things to think about.

But it was just a thought in the end,

one lurking inside my head,

searching something to think about.

It was just picking up its thoughts.

‘The man i am’

Which one am i?’ He said, ‘If i am not.

If i do not show what i’ve become?

Living with Pasts past

for they are welcome.

Having shown mercy he regrets so.

What kind of man am i?

If i love no longer?

Having a little hole

full of things

that in me don’t belong.’

‘The stranger’

A drunken fool,

called wise by those

who the genesis of his words

didn't know.

Grieving and sorrowful.

A lunatic,

given as genius

by those who saw him name stars

in the bright day skies.

Moonless nights adorning starless lights.

A man! Soft eyed,

that saw death, misery, and lies

a reality unmerciful-like,

smiling upon soft opinions on humankind.

A stranger,

that speaks softly

for bearing a screaming soul...

A sinful pilgrim that passes by

and never returns.


Full hollows.

Souls once deserts in sand.

Sane, with no mind.

‘Weakness of mine’

Hidden flaws in collected wounds,

hurts that show admirable scars

bleeding without sense to bare,

directionless eyes

that dare not to stare,

a week pounding heart

that cares enough not to dare.

Discovered in my helplessness,

still i stand.


Explaining voids

to crowds absent,

uncaring of presence

uncaring of need.

Inhaling fires of will

exhaling ashes of self,

pressures of myself

to me own

a diamond of remains.

Maybe that way

i'll be valued.


Don't be the sand to my flames.

Let me burn.

Let me burn.

Be wind,

disperse my ashes away...


Keep my feelings distant

myself close...

'You are so different'

they say.

'You never noticed when i was lost'.

A choice.

A choice.

Be the judge

of my decisions

when my times

before your eyes cross.

i am to be whom i chose.


Men like flowers too.

‘Future statements (Drama in a bar)’

i was never destine to get here.

Life didn’t screw me up,

i did.

My high morals and caring.

My feelings all pink and soft.

My heart kept good

and my soul! OH! MY SOUL!

i hate boose!

*faints on the table*


Don’t i have to please you?

Isn’t that why i was born?

The world is yours. Isn’t it?

You are the ruler of all men.


Tearless cries

as the soul dies

in tips of fingers

feelings lay

and softly linger.


If independent, an ass.

If honest, rude.

If sensitive, weak.

If fiery, a brute.

If emotional, needy.

If broke, a bum!

Isn’t it how it is?

Aren’t all men dumb?


Silent screams are always unheard.

So fight,



Singing imagined lullabies

for ears that aren't there.

‘A novel’

i actually thought of writing a novel.

Not like Bukowski’s,

nor almost.

i’m a writer right? ... or just a poet?

A rambler.

Who cares, i love it.

A way to put the tears away.


Is it wrong

to show weakness

one can hide no more?

If not,

why do you

so willingly ignore?


i broke my halo and let myself fall into my own abyss.


Flames die quicker than ashes can rise to the wind.


i won. at the cost of myself. But i won.


Silent cries of need. Despair.

‘Writings of a senseless man’

Hey, i had an idea: let’s be dead.

i feel like one,



Not in the end.

Just a bunch of nothingness from within.


Can hardly be.

i do smile. Don’t i?

Heh, the hell with it

the world never made sense anyway.

i became the man i always dreamt!

HIP HIP hurray...

In a world where feelings are illusions

being senseless isn’t that bad.


Hardly a smile.

Attempts of twitched cheeks.

Eyelids heavy

dark frowned eyes

showing off

what’s inside...



Shaken heart

once again alive,

for love

the madness of once again try.



If your tears are evoked


and you dare to not cry.

So strong you show


so needy of a lap to cry.


Every time i close my eyes, i feel like i'm dying.

Every time i close my eyes, i wish i was dying.


Sad eyes

in everlasting

attemptive smiles.

What’s the point

my dear,

to be cold stoned

in the eyes that thee see,

and drag yourself

in the corners

where you weep.

What’s the point?

My dear.

‘Time and memory’

Looking for attention.

Poor kids of these days.

baby writers

thinking that poetry make.

If i had only time for such,

wait, who are they?

‘Dead men tell no tales’

i’ve seen the faces

of the ones

i thought I knew.

Words are only said

to comfort the mind

and the soul move

as a tool used.

It’s said: ‘Love and forgive all.’

But how can i love?

How can i forgive?

If those i should

want to see me fall.


i will be one more,

just one more in a pink and blue life.

i will be only one more

to those who want to see me that way.

Another, that calls their name, in vain.

Forgotten in the end

by thee who didn’t care

i will be.

Just another one in the end

to those i’ve shown my true self

but didn’t see.

‘They said it all’

Hidden truths in displayed suns,

written stories in the universe of minds.

They said it all

when emptiness was to hold

all the minds were drenched,

all the tales told.

If i pour my love out,

it’ll go to waste,

so i’ll just say

hey, sleep tight’.

‘The obvious left untold’

To live and to fly.

To behold,

when the skies are full

winds of the rapped,

lands of the dull.

To live and to fly,

when obvious is left untold

the souls lost

with the minds sold.

‘Caged, the free’

Here. There. Everywhere

where the places were,


Clothes to wear,

thoughts left spaced.

Fingers move,

while cold eyes

from the truth deviate.

‘The shed and the tower’

Free they declare us,

with voices taken

for speech is only given,

to those with power

for there is a difference,

between a shed

and a tower.

‘The arms of uncare’

An opinion...

reflection in one.

Certainties… mirrored beliefs.

Misery, a given liberty.

Escapes in words

that carry no wit.

Left to the arms of uncare

results of acts ignored somewhere,

in this era of mindlessness

in Idiocy’s realm.

‘Views of the few’

Questions not asked,

truths not had

lies avoided,

an omen left unsaid.


to minds that seek all.

Paths of written men, the law.

Wisdom is to know what to label

truth must be ate raw.

Views distorting looks,

realities defined by few.

Resting followers,

dead fish

on motionless waves surf.


Because. For. To.


Will. Instinct. Harm.


Fear made courage,

turning great those

who their minds overcame.

‘The life of the dead’

Giving life away,

to those who won't receive it

dying as if we weren't born,

pathetic, dull, unknown.

They told us we’ve time,

but not for how long.

‘Realities of a blurred vision’

All of it hidden in time

written as it should be read

from line to line.

Blood must be bled

for the purification of the blind

without tears shed

from the eyes that see none.

Realities of a blurred vision

made from beliefs

for one can see what is said to be.

It seems

that nothing is gained from kindness,

and the sense of uniqueness is flawed.

It seems that how to love is forgotten

and compassion is despised.

That all we see

is the reality of made out lies,

all we hear are manipulations of the mind.

It seems...

It seems...

Are we strong when weak?

Are we wrong when strong?

Everyone pointing fingers

none knowing where to belong.

‘A sad farewell’

A life not asked for

such a cruel world...

downward eyes

expecting more.

Never wanted in the first place,

without consent taken away.

Not a sad farewell.


Lies building what we see,

denial, mockery,

those not as lost as we.

Hope in hands toward clouds

made to dreams soaken,

attempting to fix

what is better left broken.

Reflection’s lost,

in times of thought free

slaves of our creations willingly.

Excitement forgot

Lands Of No Boredom,

a life still...

expecting, sorrowful.

i have emotions i can not control,

i have urges that i can’t in check keep.

i am only human.

i am weak.


A revolution for the afraid!

For the safety of their sad lives!

For their meaningless sake.

If i could

be cruel, i would.

Despair was cased

when skies chased,

by our fault

by our fault,

as hearts were fazed.

Go back

describing sensations lost

silences preserved

in a hidden soul.

Trying to

try again,

for ones that pulse

inside thee that carries

feelings that still try.


Sands of time will bury us.


Not much to remember

a load to forget,

illusion, a present that isn’t

reality we’ll long regret.


Senses of purity,

as dirty as our hearts

born in mud

pleading to skies.

Vagueness is there to cherish,

ruined by cowardness ,

hopes will soon perish

in times too ripped to mend.

Sadden me,

make me cruel

then preach about it,

tell it to my face

for defending my case

describe, how i am rude.

Tell me of gods

my pre-told sentence to ‘hell’,

as if i needed him in the first place.

Sadness feels so good...

Feels. Feelings.


Feelings feel.

They feel.


‘Senseless art’

i think i’m doing poetry.


but looking at it,

designed as if painted.



But art.

i think.

Doing what is best.

Not giving a fuck,

telling people to fuck themselves,

minding my own business

but still feeling guilty.

Too used to being fucked.

For being nice.

It takes time.

It takes time.

‘The gods of animals’

We kill in the name

of those that don’t speak,

Righteously driven by desires

to be above, to punish

without equal treat.

No different

from those we step upon

as hatred disguised

interest masked as love,


ego concealed in rules,

manipulation said reason.


too surreal to exist

a truth too evident to be missed,

but most, blind,

not want to see,

afraid of what can be done

by those who also bleed.

‘Pilgrims of dirt’

Images of times spent

sounds of words spoke

sights seen,

reasonless of one

destroyed minds sought.

Keepers of dusks far gone.

Written letters needy of sense,

cursing lives

searchers of an end.

Pilgrims in unholy times

cursed stops, rotten minds

chanted songs carriers of no rhyme,

disconnected truths inside holly lies,

places to be kept clean

for travellers of dirty lands.

‘What we know the most’

This... Breath...

waiting to rise up

after buried down below.

Made up times,

written words

pilled lines.

Sayings of the unknown.

Confuse and conceal

reality not shown.

In the innocence of a child

is the obedience of the grown.

Bread of illusion

from seeds of decay

morals and twisted views

to those who don't know what to say.

Love, Equality, Peace! FREEDOM!

Disguise of it all.

Stepped upon should be the ones who already crawl.

‘Sad world’

Sad world this is,

that shouts its beliefs

on gods of paperforge.

Hunger grounds

thirsty mouths,

ignored pleads

of throats too weak to carry sound.


Sad world.

Ruled by the voracity of power

hidden in the likeness of a vile mind.

‘Desires of the vain’

Behind curtains of smoke,

inside the lands of mirrors,

monsters hide from the eyes

by making blind the seekers.

Needs of a corrupted mind

to see others admire with no vision,

heatless touches of approval,

superfluous admiration,

lands of shallow men

desires of the needy,

wishes of the stupidly vain.



From those who the truth have bought,

so presents could be secured

and futures rewrote.


Maybe just trying

to release myself from the hurting.

‘The social death’



all by the pieces

made into an nineteen by time,


One day loved,

left tortured.

In the most beautiful places…


‘The poor’s wealth’

In their poverty,

the rich realise the treasures of the poor

in their desires to be miserably rich,

when they don’t bare

the curse of wanting only more.

A vicious cycle

created by humanity itself

to humanity itself,


dying by the bits,

alone in themselves.

‘Lessons of a cruel world’

The skin promises to grow again

around wounds that won’t stop bleeding,

and we will be contempt

with the fact

that they just give us pain.

We’ve tried to cure ourselves

from the venom

until we learnt lessons

given by this world,

ruled by animal and savage laws

were fear is a tool

and compassion is a flaw.

‘Right choices for wrong destinies’

Words sealed tight,

futures given wrong

in the name of what was thought right.

‘The care of ignorants’

A dot in the sky for the lost.

A vain advice for the mad.

An empty promise for the hopeful

so we can say: ‘we’ve tried our best’.

‘Pretending games’

How wise is the one,

that makes himself shallow

to understand the existence of this superficial world?


They are still humans,

Forgotten. Humans.

Rejected. Humans.

Mistreated. Humans.

And we are still blind about it.

Be patient.

Wait, observe.

Whatever it is,

it will how itself soon.

‘The slaves of opinion’

Eyes carrying no life.

Soulless. Mindless. A rule.

Disseminating disease.


There is no colour here

suffocating weight of grey.

The search for the steady

wanting it with plead,

unknowingly continuing to breathe.

They’ll never start to be,

unknown the meaning of ‘become’.

No opinion, just vain gazes wandering around.

Stares emptied, full of despise.

Oppressed until totally blind

of what lies in front,

and what fell behind.

No ideas. Here nothing is known

just to be known.

To everything! A tag.

A price to everyone.

They live looking in the past,

concepts kept, adored, guarded

for the gods there living

eternal as the knowledge now dead.

Faithful followers of the long written,

devoted to the fixed, hateful to change

carriers of Ignorance’s plague.

Here there is nothing to learn.

Here there is nothing to teach.

Things forced, orders fixed.

Everything based upon on right and wrong,

limitations self-imposed.

Reality is the little to be seen, shown,

things that appear to be,

for their world has the most beautiful of things,

lost, no time to feed the curious.

Too afraid of feeling, exposing

because one will say,

because others won’t stop talking.

The rule is: To die with the most radiant eyes!

Tears and suffocated smiles glowing,

liberal acts of sublime oppression,

inside a world of endless darkness,

covered with flowers, music, and dances.

‘When shit happens’

Leaving the behind behind

moving willingless towards tomorrow.


How deep? How low?

How wrong you have to be, to love?

How mad you have to get in order to see?

Things of life,

masterpieces craft in a fly

errors perfect to eyes full of flaws.

Disengaged truths

crafting ‘‘reality TV’’ seen

by the eyeballs of the fools

that dream and sit

hardwired to lies that fit,

with lives moulded by the lack of wit.


Dreams. Are they even a thing?

Sleeping all day,

too coward to wake up

and face life.


A soulless society

where no one cares

and everyone has something to say.

Most opinions invalid,

feeling stirred minds, unreason.

Roles of untold slaves.


We didn’t ask to come in this cruel place.

We did not ask to be ourselves.

It’s never our fault.


Unknown. Such as compassion.

Who are you?

Do i matter?

The most beautiful thing. Forgotten…

So much to learn before it one can know how it feels.

Patience my child and times will stand still.

Tomorrows never are.

Yesterdays are no more.

Now is the time

where life rides along.

Gods are propaganda.

A smile

and a whole lot of bad intentions.

Let’s just have sex

and talk about Schrödinger’s cat.

Vain words


carcasses of pasts in oneself.

Now dealt,

chances of voicing out

what was once felt.


Accept your faults

you aren’t yet a god.


We just want to be happy”

I just want to have a thrill”

As if passing emotions,


arousals would fulfil.

We want what we don’t know

and search for what we have no idea of,

finding sadness and despair.

Programmed objects of desire

possession of someone else.

Shh, let them be happy.

You have better shit to do.


This is what they don’t tell you in the news.

In the advertisements,

on the shows of your beloved TV,

where they teach you how to be

and what to feel.

How to become the product that anyone who can afford to pay for it.

The Mayas where right.

Our god is the sun.

Did the impossible once,

‘bout to do it again.


Give them what they don’t need...’



Watch them buy.’

A thirsty generation

Same, different names.

Oblivious, ignorant

selfish, shallow, tamed.

Fame, fake smiles.

Acceptance for a short period of time.



Away the value from the eyes that the mirror watch.

Perspectives inside. Looking through glass.

Equal! Us.

Contempt be y’all.

You will make an impact by being politically correct!

Once again, lies!

Products of a consuming era.

With closed eyes

we are just television fabricated trash.

Let the pain numb.

Let, the pain,


‘The hard truth’

Bow not to fear.

Open eyes and the empire falls.

The kings of saints, and the saints of them all.

Walking nakedly worn, jewels of sanctity,

on the streets of the blind and the fooled.

Are we mad?

Lunatic for each other’s souls

stolen breaths by kisses of life

with intentions of death.

Are we insane?


as insane as two can be

in a world made

just for you and me,

as our eyes belong to one

and our souls to the other.

‘To the end!’

Seeking the path of lies to the end,

and reaching the bottom of the hidden truths.

Questions are forbidden

thinking in differently a taboo.

The mainstream is the science of living

and the sciences of life,

the place of manufactured lies.

Twisted words to the minds obedient,

avoided rebellion, deaden anarchy.

Bend to the will of another man. God is its title.

All hail the mob that doesn’t live!

All hail the ones that can but won’t!

All hail the cowards and the hidden heroes!

Those who are too afraid of thinking!

All hail their forgotten honour!

All hail the brainwashed!

Because of them we are murdered by the thousands and erased by the bits.

‘Rules of society’

There is no equality and there will never be.

Rules of society.

The Libra that bends towards the heaviest,

manipulated for the sake of the plan.

For the sake of an empire that doesn’t care for the innocent.

The king is not just a man.

Soon i’ll fade away

along with your memories.

It would be nice,

wouldn’t it?

To hear from me

that i miss you.

‘They are not’

They are not like me.

So jealous they are.

They want to be like me.’

You are as miserable as they aren’t.

As they want to be.

Cover powder

for your lack of love to self,

the void of happiness,

a need of true friends.

Smiles, selfies to hide the tears

to be loved, a desperate need.

To fill the gaps of self-esteem

that you carry with your attitude,


Let me write.

Let me breathe.


Fancy clothes

Won’t make you

accept yourself.

‘Conversations with the wise’

- Am i too prideful?

-No. You just know what happens when you drop your self-worth.

- Is it worth the pain?

- If it means you not playing the part of a fool, then yes.

‘i am…’

It’s all my fault.’

Yes it is your fault for being yourself,

and no other’s.

It’s your fault that you still don’t know yourself,

that you don’t forgive your mistakes.

Is your fault, yes it is.

Of not acknowledging

that you are beautiful.

Yes it is.

For not stopping

and staring to the good things you’ve done so far.

To the smiles that you brought to the world.

‘It’s your fault’

Forgetting that we are not perfect is easy when we are too busy criticising the deeds of others

Behaving as true assholes and pure bitches is easy when we want everything as we think we are, perfect. As it looks like in our perfect world and in our perfect minds, not stopping to see the damage that has been done.

But I was pissed of”, so you say, and it’s ok, but a thing done more than once can’t be put as a mistake.

No one has the patience to deal with shit.


Oh, how dense i am.

Split thought

cluster of nonsense sole.

Solid emptiness

eager of love.

The same.

i’m a night creature.

A cookie backed in prime hell.

How can i utter



the voids


Assist me

in comprehending

this liquid fire


Sense be no more,

let me go,


so and so.

‘Don’t expect much from what is coming’

In life, if you expect something, your expectations won’t be fulfilled as you imagined.

It’s better to have reality in mind, and be prepared for the worst of the outcomes, than think about fairy tales and happy endings.

Don’t expect nothing from no one and be grateful for the things you have and the ones that you can count on.

Don’t ever be conformed with a situation. If you don’t like it, you can do two things: change it or leave it. Simple as that. Complaining solves nothing.

Reality is what you make of it, and if you have the guts to change it, you will.

Care for people.

If you love someone, tell them how you feel, but be careful in loving someone. People are crazy.

Read classic writers. Read great minds.

Question everything. Be curious.

Nothing lasts, and even if something does, the moment that it end, it will look like only 2 seconds have passed, so enjoy every single moment of life.

Do stupid and crazy things, but not too stupid and crazy.

Don’t lose the kid that is inside of you. Kids are the only ones that still carry a genuine smile on their faces.

Live, love, enjoy and most of all, don’t expect much from life itself, but expect a lot from yourself.

Be happy.

How stupid it is,

to make an innocent heart pay

for the fault of others.

Don’t ask much,

my demons are asleep.

Forget that i have a past,

pretend that we’ll have a future.

My super power is not giving a fuck

i don’t want to know what’s yours.

My love is hellish.

If given,

it’ll burn you to ashes.

i want someone real enough so i can touch.

One is unable to forgive

the mistakes of others

when he himself

can not forgive his own.

i’m just a whole new strain of fucked up


Mercy upon those who plead. But care for your back.

Forgive, but don’t let them take advantage of your kindness.

Bravery is lost in these current times.

Sanity is what rules the insane.

Love is misshaped.

Freedom is a stain.

Changing is a taboo because the normal rule.

Hate is the curse that we carry.

Skin still defines character. The eyes and the soul are left unseen.

The expression of the soul is denied and the rebels are killed by the thousands in silence.

This is the world of misery.

This is the world without mercy.

You know yourself,

not others.

Hard truths are better than easy lies.

We weren’t taught how to feel.

A hard shell

waiting to be broken.

In my broken pride

i was broken to shards.

Lesson learned.

Words are precious.

i won’t vainly waste them.

Make me feel like someone.

As petals,

smiles bloom and die.

i looked at Depression in the face.

It smirked.

I don’t want you

to solve my issues.

Just, listen...

if i trust you enough

to let you know.




‘d i rest

cowardly lonely

wisely aside?

‘d i try?


Would it be different this time?

Don’t push yourself into the same trap.

In the presence of fools,

shut up.

Of no use it is

explaining things to those

who do not want to understand.

i’d tell

love words

if so weren’t wasted.

This has become useless.

Let me sink,

i will rise again

for dead bodies float.


Winds bleed

from wounds

of heart’s tired.

Cut the pretending

arrange the amending

curse the joys

give in to breaking.

Smiles take their tow,

as nights mature

my lips hang low.

How do you want people

to know how you feel

if you hide it?

‘We don’t care’

We don’t care about you and your life.

We are too egotistic and egocentric to give a single damn about the words you waste.

We see you as annoying and time consuming.

We don’t listen to you while you talk for hours about your silly and miserable life. We endure it, doing it for the sake of manners.

We pretend to give a shit.

In the end you achieve nothing. Not a single penny to tell a story of your words.

You are a waste of life and time to our eyes.

Look, we have our own friends and we don’t even know why the hell you come talk to us. Only if we knew better…

To tell you the truth, we don’t give a single half of a fuck about the things you say.


Let me dive,

let me rise

as pressures builds inside.

Let me sink,

let me die

without love

i rather put my breaths aside.

What is meant to be’

Vague words.

Symbols of conformity.

In fear,

silly silly

silly they appear.


Between bedsheets

i stir,

emulating hugs

of arms warm

that slowly disappear.

In its stillness

the tree fights and grows.

Goodbyes aren’t so painful anymore.

It’s the same.

My fault.

i’m the one to blame.

Conversations meaning




out of my chest,

people have proven

themselves, shit.

‘Money, drugs, bitches, fame’

All I talk is money. No money? Don’t talk.

I will do whatever it takes to get it. I don’t care if I have to do the weirdest crap for it, as long as I get paid, it’s fine for me.

Drugs? I sell that stuff on the same rate that I breathe. Easy. I don’t care if those guys and chicks, or those kids that are buying die or go to jail. All I care about is money.

If you say you’re my friend, stay away from my paper bro. Friends help you. But to be honest with myself, I would cheat your ass if they pay me enough. Everyone has its price. Mine is not that high.

Bitches? They come with the paper. Just fuck them and leave them there. Pay them a little for the job and they come back for more. Women are like that you know? These teens are getting hornier by the day.

Haha! I’m living the life baby!

Fame? I don’t even need to introduce myself.’

Nothing but

a pass-time i was.

Lovely words, lies.


You are the victim of the world.

Pain is only upon you.

But you don’t understand’

Yeah, right.

We all have pains of our own.

Write me love songs

composed in sorrow,

sing them

moan them

in agony at every morrow.

Understand my tears.

How ungrateful are they,

to the memories of my existence?

Not unhappy.

i’ve past that.

Not depressed.

i’ve understood it.

Not lost.

i know that steps to.



If we are all special

what makes it so special in the first place?

If we are all different,

what makes us so different

from each other?

We are unique.

Heart, beats


Misery visits




distraction slips out.

My head

is in a bottle.

i might just throw it

at the ocean

one day,

to see if it can find you.

Of course i’m cold to you.

You didn’t warm me up.

Find me in Forever where i will not be.

Have me in Tomorrows that you won’t see.

Waste me,

waste me dearly.


appreciation eternal,

for i love you nows.

Trashed secure loyalty

for childish risks.

It’s not time. i see.


Mind of mine,


Of use you are no longer.

Why do you still mingle for attention?

Kill thine hopes upon me!



How barren

i cast myself complete.

How right it was.

The little voice in my head

telling me not to trust.

Do you love me,

or the things i do to you?

How important am I?

Who cares...

You? Nay,...

don’t lie

keep focusing on your shit.

Illusions are better than reality’

and so you die miserable

because you wasted your life.

Just tell me a straight out Fuck You.

Speak your fucking mind

for fuck’s sake.

You are no toddler.

‘Crash course of adult life’

Lesson one: Nobody gives a fuck.

Lesson two: If they do, they will, eventually, fuck you up.

Now that you have graduated,

all we have to say is:

‘Good luck’.


You will never break my heart’

You will break your own soon.

You just want attention,

fuck it.

i miss my smile.

i miss my happiness.

i miss being missed in the real sense.

End this.

You think like the others.

You think like i’m just another.

That’s why you don’t understand.

Treat me the same.

Say to my face that i’m special.

Leave me...


Go mess around with your own life.

Emotion driven self-destruction.




Actions will soon weigh their words.

Hopelessly lost.

i can’t even feel the pain.

So sweet and bland it is...

i guess.

The more love you give away,

the less is there for yourself.

To you naught i am worth,

to you i am still worth nothing.


holding mania

out of me.

How important am i to you now?

After your plans succeed,

never will you remember me.

i miss being missed.

Not for my loving words,

not for my flaring lures.

i miss being missed,

for being simply not there.

Valliant i am not

cowardice i have never shown,

shyly i stay strong

waiting, wailing

to somewhere to belong.

My demons scream

in my head,

in my head they scream.

There is not much i can do to stop them;

They were right.

They were right.

Not that bloody

not that cold


Mosquitoes keep me from standing still.

i don’t want to be here.

You give what’s yours

to others freely,

and expect them to care

for them as you didn’t.

That’s stupid.

i shouldn’t care.

But i do.

Although less and less.

Nobody notices emotional pain,

because no one sees

fucking emotions.

Almost midnight,

fuck it.

An innocent cockroach on the sidewalk.

Killed it.

Rhymes were nicer before i write this.

Tchilling with my demons.

They send me dope vibes.

i can only go so far.

You have to earn me.

i too have value.

i too am worth.

‘Check my brain’

They saw me talk to myself while ridding the sun and said to me that I’m insane. Funny.

They chased and caught me. Dragged me here alleging that it all was for my own good.

I never asked shit from them. I was fine.

They put me in rooms, with doctors that think that know me. Made me questions that I didn’t need to answer. It’s none of their business if I had a bad or a spoiled childhood. It doesn’t matter if I had a bad or a good dad.

They gave some meds, some shitty pills that make me feel confuse and sleepy, disoriented and panicky.

It was for my own good they said but look at me now.

I had a choice and I’ve made it. I was living my life. I am a fucking adult for fuck’s sake! Get me out of this fucking place!

So this is the price of having an imagination and free will? Fuck this!

I want my life back.

Can’t deal with this

i’m not that people,


Verses half dead

a mind quarter sane,

night in pines scent.

Expect me to love you

and i’ll give you what i can.

Put wood in my fires

and i’ll love you

as if i was mad.

These compliments don’t give me love,

attention isn’t always caring

beauty isn’t enough to have me.

If all the love i gave

came back to me.

How happy

would i be?

i don’t know...


feels fine,

to let myself... sink

into my, (oh, so well known)


- Dude, Karma is a bitch.

- So is life.


melodies help

silencing my mind.

i bare the face of your temptation.

Expectations are the main reason for heartbreaks.

Lose me

lose me,

take me for granted.

Softly lose me

in my silent goodbyes.

Presences not had

are better off not asked.

A blank fire

the quiet of an edgy soul.


Finally becoming what i always wanted to be.


Lost words...


Poetry doesn’t pay

as they think anyone can write.

The longing

as desperation

solemnly sits aside

unvibrant eyes.

Tears would unveil the unpleasant surprise.

Enough is never enough, now is it?

Fundamented sadness

around staying stale.

Tears can’t i shed.

Away, away. Away. Away!


Disappear from this... fucking place!!!


My hair grows...

Not fast enough...

i wish i had curls.

Maturity is...

Appreciating the refreshing taste

of natural water.

i can’t feel my pulse.

‘A final stretch!’

i lie to myself

too beaten to go on.

i wish i could stop

the beating of my heart

with a commanding thought.

i would go with a contagious smile.

Until we find ‘love’

how torn and broken will we be?

How many fucks

will be left to give?

Innocence is hope.

Not even music can make me company anymore.

Totally lonely.

My love is nothing

but a refreshment to your ego.

Don’t pretend that you care

of my death.

You never cared when i lived.

Of no worth

are warm words

told to a cold, pallid face.

‘The choice of cowards’


always an option.


Sleep myself to eternity

of those that about few care...

You come to me.

What are your newly arisen needs?

i’m desperate for a conversation.

But i already know how it will end.

Why do i still try?

Why do i even try?


So many people

so little meaning.

People like to talk

about things they don’t want to understand.

Gave life

to smiles of many,

they costed a lot.

They have costed my own.

Give your heart away

and they will break it.

Give your soul

and they will take it.

Give an inch of trust,

and they will use you.

Don’t hide these,

learn to see

who you are giving what’s yours.

Tchill vibes...


a natural high...

good times.

Suicide is not the key.

Is the end.


Pretty drawings in pages.

Trendy shit.

i want to sleep

to never wake up.

It takes time to get back up.

Make me sad

make me cruel

then preach about it,

tell it to my face

how rude i am

for defending my case.

Tell me of a god,

preach my descendings to hell

as if i needed it in the first place.

Blameless you are,

for you didn’t gave.

That’s why i stand in vain.

After so many hits,


to the pain,

to the falls,

to the fucks I should give.

Money’s on my mind,

spare your words

if they won’t offer dimes.

You took

and went away.


‘Playing pretending’

-We are playing pretending.

-Pretending what?

-Pretending that we are happy with our lives. With our marriage. Pretending that we love him, her, it.

Pretending that we are doing something that matters. That we are.

Do you want to join us?

-Not yet. Tell me more about it.

-So the thing is, you have to be what people tell you to be, and do what they tell you to do. It’s easy.

You find a good looking boyfriend or girlfriend, marry her, but you can always look for someone else after, because you can always ask for a divorce. It’s ok.

Get a job and get payed. Just pretend. Come on, let’s play.

-Nah, I’m too real to play pretend, and I am not sorry about it.


i wish i was so

standing bleak.

Once again...

as I love yous sincere

i stupidly await.

Slowly fading

from my life.

Funny that you didn’t realize.

Let me waste my energies

on who is worth the sweat.

With only dirt in my hands

i offer you...

my heart

for you to throw it away

in destinies

a part.

They may be shit

but you are no better.

Words flow

form lonely fingers

of enticed minds,

gazing to everything

that is nothing

presented as mine.

i ask for company

in a busy world.

Loneliness comes and goes.

She too


looks for company.

Lifeless warming embraces.


Don’t ask.

Don’t tell.

Act as they treat,

reply enoughly to what they say.

Do we really care?

Can these actions we standardly take

be called efforts?

Searching the unknown.


‘And then what?!’

How far down...?

When will I hit the bottom?

i crave air,

i don’t want to breathe.

To feel alive.

And then what?!

Take in illusions

that scramble the sight?

To feel alive...

and then what?!

To love and to try,

to be ignored

with all their might.

‘ Is this enough?’

Do my eyes scream loud enough?

Used to not being heard.

Do my smiles carry pain enough?

So beautiful and broad.

Is my heart strong enough?

As he beats


and cold.

Do i exist

outside your plans

and times of miss?

Do i exist,

away from your needs

and your ego’s bliss?

‘Let me fall asleep’

Let me go,

let me fall asleep

in Death’s eternal vow.

Let me go,

abandon much of me

and the rest of it all.

Cries of the desperate,

calls of the needful,

silenced mouths

tears of the pitiful.

Craving the will of daring to try.

Losing ourselves in the mesh

barely breathing,

what is left

running to our darkest corners


It might be said

that it’ll be OK, some day,

but they don’t know

they didn’t feel it.

They might say

that everything will run it’s course

but do they know the way?

Trying to keep the pieces together

desperately holding on,

afraid to let go of what’s gone,

and we thought it would last forever...

‘What would be left ’

And if we lost it all

what’d be left?

Our souls

or our despair?

The love denied,

the chances untaken.

Plenty left to know.

And if we lost it all,

to remember, what’d be left?

Our humanity,

our sins,

or what we dread?

The deeds made to forget,

the correct was the mistake

as lives were nullified

and hearts were left to break.

Futures await you

as you wait them to come.

A life passes,

as afraid you stand awhile.

So many die

petrified of being someone,

like the ones who live in the crowds of no one.

They are the dead

we say,

not being alive.

They are the lost

as we crave a vision to grasp.

Past distant

with knowledge too far

a blink of an eye to get

the wisdom to crawl,

presents wasted

leaving to Tomorrow’s decide.

They are the dead

we say,

not being alive,

they are the lost

as we lack visions to grasp.

Just say no.

Wounds take a while to heal.

Still licking my skin.

Don’t try to fix what wants to be broken.

We are born to endure graceful suffering.

You will never have me,

for that,

i’ll always be yours.

How unfair,

dreamy of you,

making no efforts

in keeping up with your word

and expecting,

demanding me to do so with mine.

In moments of desolation

I know my true friends.

Maybe lonely,

but surely alone.

Let us lay in destruction,


and call ourselves happy.

Please tell me to duck off

that way i’ll know what to do.


so different than thoughts.

illusions run in trot.

i’m glad that i can now see.

i’m still trying

for i’m still alive.


Don’t talk.

Lets just jam to this song.

How dangerous

is this word, ‘love’


How much it’s used

for mispurposes.

My nothings.

i’ll give them away no more.

i’ll be ok.

If i ever recover.

Can’t you see the tear on my lips?

My words are part of me.

Don’t make me waste myself.

i rather die

fighting for my dreams

than to live conformed to an illusion,

for that’s no life at all.

i don’t love.

i give myself away

in attempted despair.


i’ve learnt the lesson

that for years they taught.

They don’t care,

and neither should i.

You wont hear

what you expect.

i won’t be who you expect.

Yeah, you can latter call it a ‘heartbreak’.

i thought you were different.

Once again i was wrong.

Dead leaves

an old root tree feed.


Now i understand

why people drink

and smoke.

Life’s shitty sometimes.

Set to a life of misery.

With each person i loved

i left a part of me.

i want them back.

‘House of pain’

Afraid of feeling what’s right,

for that’s what precedes wrong.

Stopped by the fear of loving,


and fall into the traps of life

in the house of pain.

Can’t love yet.

My wood is too wet.

From all that is living

expect change.

You cannot mend dust.

Breath it in

or go away.

Be burnt

or be left.

There is no middle ground.

How much true appreciation cost?


Don’t think that that shit is free.

I wish...

Oh! God in which i do not believe!

i wish.

To be the man i once was,

but him,

you will have to miss.




Pure lust.

Call it sin, if you wish.

This is why we live for, isn’t it?




Coal-making sparkles.

For them i live.

For them i won’t stay.


(Are you crazy?)

-Angolan expression.

Tare me apart with your love

or don’t love me at all.

For i have never shown you mercy on my loving,

and i won't learn to do so.

Heartbreak chooses no gender.

Hug me.

Lay on top like a baby.

Be naked around, at ease.

Play with me.

Let’s laugh, talk and read.

Can’t stand the glitter,

the smell of sugar coated shit.

Give me truth,

give me bare boned reality,

i’ll see the light through it all,


Go fart your rainbows somewhere else.

With devotion i give

with devotion i please.

Hoping to be a memory.

Of sin.

But a memory still.

Augmented silences

threatens non-violence



Does your love has an expiration date?

Cloud my thoughts

into riffs’ lot.

Leaving my ears to rot.

If i let go my tears

how many oceans would they fill?




ashes to the winds

they no longer bare.



as i crumble into a thought




to be none

in nay.

You like me for my tattoos,

but don’t want to know

their meaning.

i don’t want sex,

but comprehension.

But that’s hard to find these days.

Isn’t it?

An open book

worn on winds that took their tow.

Scribbled pages

lovely sayings below

enchanted songs of a kind soul,


as the winds took them

in the wings of their blow.

Another day.

Another dawn to deal with in the morrow.

Beating too fast too slow

bewitched by tunes

that along grow old,

duck-tape to my shards of soul.

An almost dead valiant.

This won’t last long

will it?

‘Men like flowers too’

This isn’t love.

We know.

Soon we’ll let go.

Soon we’ll let go.

My suffering pleases you

as my soft pleads add value to your harsh skin,

my love you don’t need

take my hard flesh in

in moments of carnal wish.

Isn’t it beautiful

when our tongues play with death?

No, i do not understand

it seems.

i never knew how is it like

to have.

At least alone we can count on our own company.

How long can i stand

in miseries of men...

Endure the duress of nothings.

Able i am

to withstand

the weight of silence.

Is just another game isn’t it?

A broken soul

that for most cares no more,

trying to find itself,

in the realms of its own.

I want to miss her.

You can’t. i won’t let you feel so!

(In conflict)

I want to be on her lap.

Show no weakness!


I want to be known!

They will destroy you at the first chance!

You don’t know that!

Afterwards don’t tell me i didn’t say so...


As granted. Taken.

For devotion shown.

I know.

Seldom crowded nights

where silence cries

in lonely despair.



to what it has to say.

Unwillingly singing voices

enchant my ears.

Pulled by pasts that define

presents confusing


offers, choices presenting

as one is forced to choose between focusing,

keep being a fool,

pretending and letting all go.


Slow screams...

... ... fill the pitches


a tired heart

with small room for loving

wasting its beats.

Sadness looms

madness creeps

music helps.

My love costs too much

i won’t let

our skins vainly touch.

Please use words that you understand.

Am i dying again?


It so seems.


paper rings

backs dragged down

to the deep sea.

Thoughts of tomorrows that might never be.

You just want the attention

you don’t want comprehension,

just be the victim

be the victim

drown in your pitiful convictions.

‘4 Walls and a fan ’

Four walls and a fan

metallic scent of painted walls.


What a beautiful ending.

A smiling face bearing failure.

A whole-hearted attempt

of a racing kind heart.

A worthless disaster.

Suicidal thoughts fog my head,

i’ve seen enough

been through enough.

Who can stop me?

Who can stop me this time...?

I don’t want your pity...

momentaneous worry.


I don’t want your empty company...

is lonely enough out here.

Oh i wish i could shed a tear,

relief a drop of these oceans in me.

When will this hell heat?

Keep on.

Judge me.

Think i care. Think i care.

You never really knew me.

How simple...

a hey,

a hug,

a stare.

Lets just talk

leave our minds to float away...


A. Watts have shown us the way,

G. Orwell displayed the mistakes,

K. Popper the truth has said.

Why do we still walk away?

Ignorance is a bliss, the stupid say.

The Lambs of God so much have sang,


Bring the System off! Bring the System into A Down!

Why Charlotte had to Brontë?

Throw those trashy novels away.

How sad are my eyes?

How fake is my smile?

How tense do i present myself?

How well do i disguise?


Few are the men that die with their honour.


Sanity. A concept. Lovelike.

Insanity in the eyes of others define.

Sanity defines which people we decide to please.


The gaze of sadness can observe beauty.

A distracted look can capture the biggest details.

But greed can only see what it fixes it's eyes upon.

‘Ignorance over Wisdom’

For us to achieve Wisdom,

we have to be willing to let go of the weight of Ignorance.

The weight of the illusion of knowledge.

The weight of the satisfaction of carried knowledge and the weight of believes. For they are also forms of ignorance.

‘Lesson learned’

What might seem wrong to your eyes

could be in fact an attempt of somebody in doing right.


Heavens spoke

in unheard windy tones.

A voided voice.

To do, to see

to believe in things

by others' choice.

For sins!

For sins!

It's our punishment to be.

For sins!

It's our taken right to see.

Ideas of heaven

thoughts filled with hell,

to live inside a mirage

cast by our own chosen spell.


Driven eyes,

drifted horizons swept

by emptiness of minds.

Observed something that seemed,

landscapes of the obvious

taken by river streams,

when realities were altered

by those who dare not to see.


Blank spaces full of watches to count no time.

Hand-made places

in paperland skies.

Imaginary tries

bluish cries of the driest eyes,

illusions.... fallacies.

' '

Conformity hiding the facet of fear,

the gaze of oneself

shattered, left

all views twisted,

made unclear.

' '

Pushing through

words of bare minds,

soul lost in pride,

believing in everything

besides their own might.


Saint to their own eyes.


Saviours otherwise.

Pushing through

the realities given true

in our own minds.

Futures awaiting those who keep trying

even after told otherwise.


Without much to be thought

words are fluid

in the vanity of feelings.

Without much to be thought,

words are fluid

in front of one's seeings.


We have known our mistakes

therefore we are wise.

We have known pain,

therefore we are kind.

‘Imagined grounds’

Barefoot walkers

devoided of ceilings

below roofless skies,

views covered with half ignored seeings.

Eternal moments that didn't last,

endless beginnings.


No comprehension given

of the beautiful only seen

in heads lonely.

Floating imaginations

fruits of the unholy.

‘Foes and John Dos’

Resting eyes of a living foe

tired of bearing lies and cruelties,

as mouths of some said so.

Rules and demands,

for innocent we are,

the dead that don't need to be alive,

the vanishing,

remembered by none.

‘Paral lel’

i went. Got back. Arrived.

Dreamt something!


Feared and touched the sky,

embraced the finite


A happiness sore,

a heart resembles a scar,

in essence of the paral lel,

an existence had,


‘The beautiful and the beautiful’

Faded in present times

realities that would come

after not much left

besides what’s left to be done.

Strengthless to hold

drained of sensations from this world.

Souls ripped apart,

memories rest aside time

traceless in a mind's cold.

A gathered self, falling bits

nothing in place held

a compilation of sand in dry mud

that sees the beautiful

and the beautiful

but touches none after taught too much.


For all that one finds

and has to let go off,

little by little,

is the sure cause of misery.

‘A forsaken self’

Promises made one prisoner

of fates written by his own hands,

to see

smiles and laughters left in thee,

futures obsolete.


Eyes with no soul

hearts with no whole,

just persons that are lost

with a void that fills them all…

‘After the thinking’

Everything known

fits in the vague

of a spaceless hand.

‘To them’

A place to find shelter,

a map to lost souls.

Disguised shallow normality

with madness hidden bellow.

Machines with smiles in tears

and tears in smiles,

made out egos ignored by time.

A graceless disgrace used to mend

the time wasted with worthless men.

‘Simply lives’

Silenced by the existing

created in our imagining.

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