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Soaring Under the Grey Dawn

By Gary Hawkes

Copyright Gary Hawkes 2018

Smashwords Edition


Ponder a sensation of transformation

Existing with lack of information

In northwest corner of a dying nation

While inner ego yearns for the materials

A stronger yearning for understanding

While war is demanded from various generals

To propel the agenda

To adhere to a never fully agreed on formula

A slow dissolving

Ever revolving

While what is clear and precise

Gets muddled, distorting the light

All that came before

What did all mean?

The mind is no longer as keen

As to what this is all about

An embodiment of bad behavior

Given the keys to lead

Down to the pit,

With all of us in it

But, what can we all do

We did all participate in this


Had to turn on the news for a bit

Just to check

See if it’s still happening

Whatever this is

Is it over a year already?

We’re not really going to ride this thing out…

…Are we?

Let it go the full four

Let’s see what happens

Do we really want that?

Parallels to other histories

Too direct to ignore

Just so,


Maybe these silly words will change things

Or maybe I have illusions of grandeur

Who reads anyway?

Especially poetry

So it’s another day in

Is it 1,000 days already?

Turning on the news in a bit

Just to see if it’s still happening

An Answer

We made it to over 200

Still a few years to get to 250

Will we make it?

Of course!

We are the USA!


We are ALWAYS the BEST

We ALWAYS do the RIGHT thing

Err…I mean…sometimes

We’ll rebound

Lifelong appointments

And those with infinite wealth

Can screw us over

But, you know

We’ll be good

Cause we persevere

Or something

Who are we?

What do we stand for?

An answer will soon be needed


The continuing mood is, hmpf

Or maybe…ehh

Time is flattening

And a malaise

Or a better word to use

If I wasn’t so, ehh

Some marching next

Just like the old hippies

That’ll show ‘em

If we all march…

Probably more needed

Need to boycott all the big businesses

The imperial empire of companies

Or, just hide out in the mountains

The forest

Off the grid

Just hide out till it all blows over

But, when is that?

All the normal tendencies breaking

Decency now being eradicated

Leaders preach division

The sides are drawn

Devout followers of intolerance

Dig in their heels

Such a mess

Doesn’t anyone read history books?

Of course not, how stupid of me

Shit, how about some videos

The World Wide Web has a bunch

The information age


What the fuck?!

This is such a fuck



Fine Day

A fine day it was today

There was the cool, grey, drizzly rain

The news about nonsense

Apparently an old man with dementia

Fired the Secretary of State

What a fine day…

But I did go on a run

Just a clean sprint

For nearly two miles

Just to take the mind off of


A solid thirteen minutes

Of reprieve

Then back to thinking

Maybe thinking too much

What am I gonna do?

Cleaned the house

That’s productive

Turned on the news again

The same old man with dementia

Was speaking at a political rally

But then switched to the comedians’ take

More thoughtful,

More real

No more “unbiased” content

Pick a damn side

A good laugh at the thought

Of this insane reality

Ah but, at least we’re in this together…

Mind then drifted to the mountains of Mars,

Other planets orbiting some distant star

Somewhere on the other side

All who get it, come along

The coal barons can be left behind

To dig holes in the ground

Then die of black lung

Like so many of their loyal employees

But it’ll be out of site

Cause we’ll be on the other side…

…Such a fine day it was today


Up late

Fueled by three pots of coffee

Get some work in

Do some pondering

About late nights from another time

With the cases of beer

And young fit college women

Taking them home,

Or them taking me home

Should we exchange numbers?

But it was just fun

What’s long term when your 22?

The nights without beer or women

Were cold and lonely and,


But, I’m older (wiser?) now so

I don’t do those things anymore

But, the mind does ponder


It’s March, whatever, 2018

Been lacking motivation

Maybe due to watching too much “reality”

Not shows, but the “news”

Shows that give us the down low

On the direction of our country

And it doesn’t look good

So it’s control what can

Get in better damn shape

Write more

Be more, present

But all that shit

Going on over there

And all over

When does it stop?

When is a better future presented?

So much out of control

So, it’s control what can

Get in better shape

Write more

Be more, present

Past Week

Well this past week was shit

This next week is the one

To turn it all around

Get back on track

Some steady miles to steady the mind

Several hours on the trails

And sidewalks

To toughen the body

And spirit

Some surges to explore the limits

Exceeding the limits to see the stars

The black void, but faint glimmering light

Breath deep

Hold on for the final stretch

Plan for the next outing

Keep the pressure on

Maintain the intensity

Just past the point of no return

As far away and out before the wall

Then it’s time to return

This will happen

This next week is the one,

To turn it around

This past week was shit


They charge only a few hundred per hour

They’ll defend whoever pays them

This nominal charge

Defend all misdeeds

Maybe just pay a fee to get out of trouble

On their client’s behalf

More misdeeds by the clients

Means more money paid to counsel

Those with a legal team

Through the entirety of their life

Makes one wonder

How many misdeeds have been committed?

The client wants more by any means

The lawyers will help make it happen


Two days ago, blustery cold and rainy

Yesterday, sunny with clouds

Today, warm, with a lovely breeze

Which inspires cheerful chirps from the neighboring birds

Ah! Spring is here!

New inspirations spring forth

New budding flowers start to dance

Dreams become distinct possibilities

New life in the newest spring

Memories of the long cold winter survived, invigorate

Longer days now

More sunshine

More adventures in store

So many possibilities this year,

It’s Spring!

Tribal Leaders

The warnings were sounded

Very early on

My own reservations

Long held from youth

But, all warnings,

And history

Were ignored

Tribal leaders demanded loyalty

And we obliged

The people against the people

A few years passed now

Since the fateful choice

As expected,

As warned

Things have slipped, ripped

A sinking sensations on this

Whatever this once was, or is

Old power, now more power

Old workers, now work till death

But the workers keep their heads down

Listening to their tribal leaders

The leaders are fighting for you…

…by taking away from you

And giving more to those with the most

It is in your best interest

That you have less

And they have more

But don’t worry about these words

Don’t think too much

Believe whatever you want to believe

And turn on channel four

Or switch to the app

That tells you what you want to hear

The truth may conflict

But don’t worry of this

Listen to your tribal leaders

They demand more

They demand loyalty

And of course,

You WILL give it to them

Poem a Day

The goal was a poem a day

Write a poem

Every day

For a month

Put down in writing

What is contemplating

In the brain

Let the pen glide across

Or ponder for a bit

When the words get lost

Then continue forward

When they reappear

Will they bring forth cheer?

Merriness, hopefully

Possibly in a later year

Let the words drift

As the minds drifts

Dreaming of adventures

And who to cherish them with

This one winding down

The goal

To write a poem

Every day, for a month

Beyond the Horizon

Forward on down

The rumblin’, rockin’

Ever changing road

Glancing back

Where did we come from?

It disappears beyond the horizon

Where does this road lead?

It seems to want to climb a distant range

Some hidden dirt outlets

Reveal themselves

New options

Into the depths of the wild

Hide out in the womb of nature

Far from the bustling sidewalks

Mortgages, politics and hand held toys

Escape from it all

For a while

Then take the dirt path back

To the ever changing road

Where does it lead this time?

To another place

With bustling sidewalks

Mortgages, politics and hand held toys

And there’s another one like it

Just beyond the horizon

Rambling Coherence Vol. 39

Keep writing

Keep processing

Continue trying to figure something out

What is this?

Why here?

What am I supposed to be?

Focus drifting to the things

More controllable

The diet, no corn syrup

The health, fitness of the body

By running,

And other things

The vibrancy of the spirit

How vibrant is it?

What are the motivations?

How to take each step

Without the worry of what’s going on

Over there

But maybe,

One should worry

There is a purpose

Is it to pick a side?

To leave this place better than arrival

Reintroduce ourselves to our neighbors

On this shared planet

Re-Acclimate to our natural surroundings

Detach from the concrete walls

And sidewalks

And barbed fences

Reconnect with our source

Reconnect with our youth

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(Pages 1-11 show above.)