Excerpt for The Parasitic Phantom by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

The Parasitic Phantom

Kiki Kay Lee

© Copyright 2018 All Rights Reserved



By Kiki Kay Lee


The way my mind flipped.

The way my consciousness dipped.

To my dreaded fear, I am greeted with dusk.

With my intense revelation, I realize it’s a must.

To go back to the familiar field is what rises the tension in me.

All I see is an unlabeled key.

It’s out of my grasp.

It’s out of my hold.

I’ll never fit just any mold.

The skies are black.

The days are back.

To render sustainability is all I ever need.

Grant me a wish and I’ll grant you a deed.

The visibility prohibits all that I hear.

The weekend begins and I am dressed in tears.

Feel my sorrow, I’ll feel better tomorrow.

So, it always seems the day ends with nothing to share.

Does anybody ever care?

Sour or sweet, I cannot eat.

Give or keep, I cannot sleep.

The months turn into years.

I cannot bear.

To believe in my mind, to believe

I am kind is what I’m gifted to receive.

Only then will I know that I can retrieve.


I cannot conceive the idea of miraculously growing into a form fitting solitude.

Throughout history, I am interrupted by a man so rude.

I hear them ticking at my brain.

What is there to gain?

I age through the years and so with light, I am rewarded.

Each time I speak, I am recorded.

I dedicate myself to withstand this heavy weight.

I pry the voices open with bait.

They detour my thoughts and force me to regret loving myself.

I’m against all odds, for all I can hear are the voices, themselves.

I reason with them to no avail.

It’s noted from them to me just how many times I fail.

Each time they speak, my own voice rewinds.

There is nothing else for me to find.

I disagree with their foul words.

These voices, they come in herds.

The light beckons me to come closer.

The dark is nothing but a poser.

I highlight my own life.

The voices, they strike me with a knife.


A swarm of bees are home within my brain.

There here for one sole reason and that is to obtain.

My weakness unfolds to the point I am drowning in a pit of sticky black tar.

The freedom is more than far.

I fly upward toward the sky, yet the evil still has me tied.

Bending the bars is all I’ve tried.

I’m greeted with hot flames of fire.

The angels in heaven look down and admire.

I walk miles around the graves that whisper my name.

My wild eyes are never tame.

I beckon her back, I beckon the light to save me from this dusty curse.

On my very last day of staying here, I’m met with someone much worse.

The ghosts wreak havoc on my mind.

My pupils bend upside down and suddenly, I am blind.

The broken clock calls to me.

The staggering silence is all I can see.

As I lay back down, I began to frown.

One thing is for sure; there is no cure.


One day, I sit still.

The voices grow clever with skill.

I torment their pleas.

All I want is for them to freeze.

The death of a heart brings alliance in the dark.

The evil has created my birthmark.

Lavender scent is all I can smell until I’m awaken by an alarming bell.

Dawn refuses dusk.

I am soon captured in muck.

Given the peace and given the light,

shake me until I become too light.

My brain melts cold.

I can never forget what I was told.

The room is scarce.

My soul becomes fierce.

Through the tunnel is a gift. Through the tunnel, I drift.

Fire and rain explodes my brain.

The complete truth is nothing more than a clue.

The voices are nothing more than glue.

I sneak behind death.

I sneak behind my own breath.

When they speak, all I hear are nails sliding down a chalkboard.

When they speak, all I want to do is throw myself overboard.


Through the dazed circus, I stumble.

Between my two minds, they crumble.

I make an abrupt stop.

The voices in my head swap.

Through the blurry path, I follow.

To my destination, I wallow.

Under the evil law, I surrender.

Suddenly, my emotions are thrown into a blender.

I calculate my distance.

Through them, I build up a resistance.

A lethal dose of evil is required.

The demons in my head are inspired.

To destroy a heart, to destroy an angel is what is done in the dark.

The death of a soul, the death of light is a wicked fight.

I’m told, “Patience is key.”

Don’t they know that’s all I aspire to be?

Within my veins, I hear blood thirsty aliens that I fear.

Crackling fire sizzles my brain.

Pure evil throws me into the rain.

Under the sky, under the trees, there is much more to see.

With my poor vision, I embark on a mission.

To destroy these thoughts, to destroy the dark is to make my mark.

Forever will the voices be pure evil to me.


Within in my own eyes, I am guided by the light.

Within my own mind, I am awoken in the night.

When dark days turn on and light nights turn off, human sanity scoffs.

Through blood-thirsty eyes is recognition.

The sickened body is in remission.

The cruel tyranny of the voices overrule.

To them, my fast-paced anxiousness is fuel.

The black hole in my mind sweeps all that I know aside.

The crickets play loud drums in my ears.

The voices within me strike me with spears.

My name is clear, yet my name is my fear.

The cycle continues to bound me in small cuff attire.

Pure evil secludes me prior.

A wast of space, a waste of time is more than just a crime.

Division of faith, unison of a wraith.

Cut the voices out of my mind.

Maybe then I won’t be blind.

Ignite the flames, ignite the fire.

Pure evil is an irrational liar.

Combine my own light, combine the division of truth.

I am older than my youth.

Fast forward through space.

All I want is grace.


My hope is shattered into pieces.

My fragile heart rate increases.

The sour taste of their repelling words pounds upon my eardrums.

I am labeled as one of the weird ones.

Against the source, I flee for peace.

The parasitic phantom will never cease.

My fragile heart rescues my broken brain.

My fragile heart is drenched in pain.

The crying girl I once knew is drowned out in tears.

The smiling girl I know now is drowned out in fear.

The misery my brain endures cancels what I need most.

The calming words are spoken from the holy ghost.

My happiness repels the evil being residing within me.

The most agonizing weapon for pure evil is my very own glee.

To them, I’m torture.

To them, I’m out of order. I’m in between evil and good.

All I hear is the constant falsehood.

I put my guard up and I realize there is no way I could fight alone.

I find it all too clear now that my fragile heart is prone.

To destroy the parasitic phantom is to destroy pure evil.


My arranged emotions amplify my intense confusion.

I’m told that the voices are merely a delusion.

Every day when I wander about, pure evils reminds me that I’m a failure without a doubt.

Lighting strikes against my temple.

Again, I’m told that I am mental.

Evil intimidates fear to escape my shallow breath.

The parasitic phantom is living death.

Restless nights and melting dread may keep me awake until I’m dead.

Lost days and lost nights, this disease spreads from the piercing bites.

I yearn for the light.

I know that it’s my right.

One time my brain snaps.

Pure evil smiles and claps.

For when all is wrong, they forget that I am strong.

The ability to fight off such devastating insanity is to use the armour of Christianity.

No one is here to save me.

I’ve suddenly lost the key.

To enjoy everlasting serenity is to remember my identity.

As the lights turn off, I am cutoff.

What am I searching for?

Please don’t tell me that there’s more.

Within my brain is a map, yet I’m still in a directionless trap.


My limbs unsteadily shake until I drop to my knees.

Bring me back to home, please.

Still, I wonder if I am even able.

Because, it seems that all of me is unstable.

The future becomes the present.

I never understood what the past meant.

All I want is to engulf myself into the light.

The voices, they torment me at night.

I’m unbalanced, I’m unsure.

They believe that they allure.

I’m almost certain that pure evil has destroyed.

All that’s left of me is the shallow void.

“Fight fire with fire”, they say, so what I do is pray.

The words they speak of is heard from above.

I clasp my ears knowing all to well that they have no fears.

The cycle continues and so, I jump down.

In the echoing whispers, I drown.

How cruel can they be?

Pure evil wants to possess me.

The days pass by and again, I’m lost.

The invisible line, I have crossed.

I know at the end I will burn.

Though, I cannot say there’s nothing I did not learn.

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