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Excerpt for Geo by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

GEO.

Darren Hobson



Published by Darren Hobson at Smashwords.

Copyright ©2018 Darren Hobson



Welcome.















GEO

GEO and the interference that is poetry noise.



Who passes this point must have a strong heart and an open mind

There is anarchy in the verses and open scars to cure.







GEO∞link

Geo is linked to the earth

The earth is our home

Everything we do has a consequence

All that we are is linked


It is a multitude of rusty chains

What comes around will go down

Every word or sigh or tear

Will be the start of your death sentence


We will all interact in some way or another

What I say here will be echoed through the corridors

Just saying it at the right pitch or tone

You don’t need to send a message by telephone


Like the planets that orbit the sun

Their paths are sophistically synchronised

If just one planet slows their rotation

The whole solar system will go up in flames


Just like me and a whole lot of yous

You are so dependent on what I do

Just waiting for the next literary surge

Satisfying every whim and complicated urge


We are linked up in the passages of time

To be free and independent would be a crime

It is a knock on effect like a domino run

Just a little touch and the damage is done


One earthquake in the southern hemisphere

Has a rippling effect on all the tectonic plates

Just another disaster will mist up the waters

Just like us humans when we make mistakes


Have you ever told a little white harmless lie?

Did you notice the snowball effect?

Before long that little fucker is out of control

How much time passed before you embraced regret?


This is the link between me and the geo,

This is what I observed when I was not watching

This is what it is like to be suffering an outpouring

Always complicated but never ever boring


Just like a little baby throwing out its toys

You are now subject to my poetry noise

I am mutilating words just for the hell of it

I will leave my footprint in your imprint.


Everything I say or I have done

Will be the outline of my death certificate

Every person I met I’ve stained their soul

Can’t undo it for it’s too late


Everything is linked from the moon to the tide

This is going to be one violent ride

All my energy and aura will rub off on you

You will be tainted when I am through


Don’t expect me to be all smiles and sweetness

You can’t judge a man just by his greatness

It’s about making a loud song and dance

It’s not about what’s in or out of your pants


This is a story and it’s a plague you will see

It is a legend and the start of being me

Let’s all link up and follow the chain gang

Saving our voices for the melodies we sang


By the camp fire

Carving our virus into the trees

Destroying everything that was great

It was all fault

All our graffiti

GEOgraffiti

That was just great

That was with applause

That was just fantastic

That was gorgeous

Take the time to make a smile

Throw your attitude on the pile

Be the kid that you want to be

Just don't fuck with a cunt like me


That was just apocalyptic

That was with dirty claws

That was the way so drastic

What is mine is never yours

Take the time to make a friend

Say some bullshit to make it end

Be the cunt you need to be

Set yourself on fire be free


You’re are just so great

Knowing you was my mistake

Your fake ass smile

And you flimsy penetration

You fucked up views

That I forgot to mention


Your geography

Was all mapped out

Your twisted blister

Was to scream about

Your throat sore

With contingency plans

You forgot I was a man


Your gorgeous eyes

You planned my demise

Hiding apparatus

What has become of us?

Making amends

And destroyed friends

Breaking the bank

When all depends on you


I painted a picture and the colours were fruitful

I made the darkest corners so fucking beautiful

I dragged you into your Sinday best

But you were outraged and you protested


I could never get you when I never got me

You was a stumble on my burnt tongue

Out of the frying pan and boiled into my fantasy

Trying to be unsocial were I did not belong


Talking trouble and throw a double

You could not gamble on a dead legged horse

Blindfolded by your own suggestion

You couldn’t let nature take her course


Just imagine that there is a new way

To see me less and less every single day

I doubt you will remember anything of this mess

When in five days’ time you will be still gorgeous


I am just a little graffiti on a temporary wall

I am just a puff of air in an oval football

No matter how much you have to kick around

I will be an idiot and I will still rebound


Trying on the humpty not to be so Dumpty

When play school is the only thing to watch

And every word is child's play

You are still gorgeous even today


The clouds are covering up what could be a full moon

Inside my hormones you will never be coming soon

Too tribes go for more

Don't know what you're looking for

Pride got deep got earthquake shook

One step back so not to give a fuck

When life is perfect and dangerous

You are combed back and gorgeous.

St. GEOrges Rd.

Taking you back in time when I was so young

I was getting crazy in the head even right back then

I was moving around too much from house to house

I had no identity

No philosophy

No balls to swing me by

It all went up in smoke, right back then


Dirty streets and factories

Derelict playing fields

Gloom under a threatening sky

I was getting fucked up

And I wanted to die.


Old mills with chimneys pointing skywards

Furniture manufacture with a downstairs tenant and gym

Surrounded by the usual industrial decay

We threw bricks most and every day


It was St Georges road

It was my youth

It was long ago

It scared me deep


School was terrible and I was so afraid

This is the root of my evil and how I was made

Feeling inadequate and over my head

Thoughts misted my mind of wanting to be dead


There were hardly any good memories

Just a long line of enemies and bullies

Couldn’t tie my tie to suit the suits

Couldn’t think straight

Couldn’t study right

Couldn’t sleep at night

The world was my poison


It was St. Georges road

It was heaven and hell

It was my first year in high school

Now you can tell


I don’t want to peek in-between the closed curtains

That I drew shut and stitched up so long ago

I cannot see the faces that I hated so much

I am glad I erased that shit and I lost their touch


I remember the school bus and some mean girls

I remember the books falling from my rucksack

I remember being ridiculed for everything I was

I remember some things far too much


It was St Georges road

It was around 1983

It was the worst phase of my life

But I don’t seek your pity


I cannot feel all those punches anymore

I cannot remember how many times I fell to the floor

I cannot remember all the embarrassing situations

I just see the mist and a mountain of frustration


I didn’t want to be at home

I just wanted to be alone

I did not belong anywhere

Just like you I found life was not fair


From the Miley Tunnel I went in search of old ghosts

I found no one down there to whisper my stories too

So opposites attract so I climbed the piss smelling stairs

I found myself on top of a tower block


But not on top of the world

I saw my life unravel and unfold

Mesmerised by Crown Street and the Lancashire plains

I wish I’d visit that place again


I had one chance but I failed to act

I turned into a coward and I turned back

Down the stairs to the living hell

A bottomless ocean that’s not a wishing well


I trampled on a trampoline

So tired of all the cunts so mean

Nowhere to turn

No one to look to

I fell out of myself

Turned myself inside out

I died inside my soul

I was infested with doubt


From the image of life on St Georges road

The memories still pierce my piercing screams

That smell, those eyes those fucking bad mistakes

That fuel my poems and haunt my dreams.

GEOlogy

Why not come to me and take a stroll along my shore?

Where the wind is warm and the sun is cool

We will map out a world together we will be dynamite

We will be the rock formation that will set the stars alight


From the pacific trench to the lost cities eroded by time

From the smoking gun of a volcano to the lava formed tunnels of love

Every mistake I make will have me quaking in my boots

I would love you for everything from the leaves down to your roots


We will form something that will not take a millennium to show

We will be a shelter from the vicious weather and snow

So can we now gander through the contours of my mind

Laying down the ley lines for the lover to come


It is all natural and it is all to hold

It is geology come geography

Come find the geo in me

Map out our future

Let us study our souls

Come be my geo and destiny


Some people reach too far and wish for the stars

Astrology is complex as geometry is to pet

I want you here beside me on this bed that is earth

I will sow the seeds of freedom showing you what I am worth


Every mountain will be a molehill when we get in our stride

Every coast will be nearer when we start to enjoy the ride

Every lake a pond that I will bridge with my fears

Every desert will be in harmony when they taste my tears


It is all in the wind and it is all I know

It is me against the universe in my head

Come find the geo in me

I can be electrifying but only if you be my charge

I can be in bloom in the heat that you are

So be my geo and destiny


I never ever wanted ever to say

That the roots will die and we’ll fade away

From lack of food and water and harsh limelight

That we will distant again in another night


The once fertile soils are barren and fallow

That the once flowing river is polluted and narrow

That no pollen can be pollinated ever again

That geo is another little torturous game


The sand castles all come crumbling down in the winter

The beaches are taken away by the hundred year storm

The disaster that is geo

The forests have all been destroyed and turned to cinders

The picnic areas are now infested with rotten human waste

Don’t be the cruelty that is geo

Time will never heal the pain

Don’t ever be geo

Nothing will ever be the same.

GEO know me by now

Maybe my words were not kind

Maybe I had to speak my mind

Maybe my maybes were cruel

Maybe I was a little lazy

Maybe I was a little crazy

Maybe be my maybe and be free


It is hard to decipher the true feelings

It is hard to wiggle out of the riddle

It is hard to be misunderstood

But you should know me by now


Sometimes the words don’t come out right

Sometimes the words just don’t come out at all

Sometimes at the best times I will fall

Sometimes you forget who I am

Sometimes you found that lost man

Sometimes is most times but you never understand


It is a feeling I hold onto like ice

It is a feeling I hold onto like hot coal

My hands will quit feeling some day

But you should know that by now


Anytime could be a bad time

Anytime could be a sacrifice

I wear a tortured stick on smile

For most of my blessed time

I try not to reveal all of my pain

I try not to blurt out what’s on my mind

I try to be down to earth

Geo in my bio has turned to dust


Sandpapering against the grain

The splinters in my hands again

A rough and tumble finish

Too old and bold to be saved

But you should know that by now


Are you ready for the open sores?

Are you ready to decipher my mind?

Are you to be ready for the slaughter?

I am a murderer of all our good times

Don’t wait for me to remember

Don’t wait for me to survive

Don’t wait for the green man to cross

Don’t expect me to stay alive


What did you expect in the belly of the beast?

What did you expect to find behind my eyes?

I mask myself from all your inquisitive souls

Don’t you know me by now?


I walk a cold and lonely path

I try to crawl far away

I am happiest when I am lonely

I don’t want to hurt anyone else

I am suffocated in the crowds

I am naked when we are alone

Feeling bare and exposed and vulnerable

I am a dog without a bone


It is just like a game of hide and seek

I am hiding in the rivers of dread

Dreaming I should be somewhere and someone else

Thinking I have failed every test

Thinking I have let you all down

I didn’t expect me to get so fucking old


Some days I have a silent stare

Some days my presence is everywhere

Like a ghost in the autumn mist

I am frustrating and hard to make out

I am cold as the winters in Siberia

I am fragile as our ecosystem

I damned like the low lying coasts in a tsunami

I don’t seem to reason

And you should know that by now


Because that is what I think

That is why you all walk away

My words sting like a nest of nettles

You don’t need my shit in your day

You have enough problems on your mind

You disappear just to be kind

I have seen it all before

No doubt it will happen again

Cut loose from everyone who tried

Deleted from all your minds.

GEOthermal Intrusion.

It is the heat deep inside of me

That will fuel the fools on fire

It is the complex ancient process

I am the one, I am desire


No stones have been left uncovered

All things grind away

Erosive or corrosive toxic relations

Dust to fucking dust


There was a better day

The other day

But it fell so freely into the sea

There was a good view up on the cliffs

The other day

But it taught me how to be unsteady


There was a glorious day

The other day

I was standing on the highest mound

There was a sickly sensation of vertigo

Just the other day

But it taught me how to know


The difference with what is real in this world

The feeling of being powerful in the right place

In the right time

In the right piece of mind

I can find peace

In the cool whispering winds of spring

The sun that tries its best to warm

Even though it’s a losing battle

Winter still rears its ugly head

Spring tries to take the baton

There is war in the winds

Who will win?


It is a battle that is not seen but felt

The outcome is evident

We only see the outcome of the war

We don’t see the daily grind

And all of its advances and regressions

We don’t want to know every kick of the ball

You know?

Why does it have to be so difficult to take an interest

In every fucking thing that is happening around you?

It is not so nuclear and radioactive

It is just a warm case of geothermal intrusion


There was a better day

The other day

The orchards were infested with flies

The pesticides had lost their touch

That other day

It taught us all to be less greedy


There was a better day

The other day

The summers were subtle and warm

Now we can’t live without our air-conditioning

Like any other day

Did it teach us the effects of the fragile ozone?


Just like we use to be back in our childhood memories

Were everything was innocent and make believe

None of this social indiscipline

This infighting and territorial advantages at aged six

Gun crime in the corridors of the innocent

I thought I was the only one going crazy

In this twisted wreck of an elaborate maze

The forgotten discarded coarse paper tissues

The undignified not up to the job sticky plasters

That never cover up the graze that needs to be seen

Give the teacher the chemically modified apple

Be sent to detention just to be cool


The schoolyard battles that mummy does not know about

Unfortunately the outcome is evident

We only see the outcome when school is out for summer

We don’t what to hear about their daily grind

And all of the blood and wasted tears

You don’t want to be reminded of your teenage years

You know I know!

Why does it have to be so difficult to take an interest

In every fucking thing that is happening around you?

It is not so nuclear and radioactive

It is just a warm case of geothermal intrusion


There was a better day

Just the other day

But it felt so lonely in a crowded room

Everybody failed to recognise anybody

Just a normal day

It taught us to be so distant


There should have been a better day

We ignored that day

We felt we should do something selfish and cruel

We ignored what was really human in us

Everyday

It taught us that we are unteachable

We are so cold yet geothermal

Warm on the inside, ice cold on the exterior

Do we really need to stick a tube down your fucking throat

To get some warmth or compassion out of you?

GEOcolense

You found the fool me

You found me at my most gullible

Even though everything seemed so sweet

I was dead on the inside


I could not get anything right

I was always in the sticky and the wrong

I was to become your worst nightmare

All decisions will be a death sentence


I thought it would be great

I thought it would be cool

I thought that seeing a new life

Will wake me up from lethargic monotonous pathetic fucking life

I am no doctor

But seems the therapy I prescribed myself

Had a shitload of side effects and undignified consequences

All my decisions happen to be a death sentence


All I wanted was to be in touch with a little reality

It seemed to be I walked through too many forbidden doors

I was bouncing down the wrong kind of neighbourhoods

I was frustrating and angry and wearing the wrong clothes


Far, far away!

I fly into hyperspace and landed in another universe

A parallel world which I hoped was better than mine

It did not take long for my demons to catch up with me

In this warmer plain those bastards were stronger than ever


I struggled a whole lot more

But you did not want to understand

I had so much distress on my fragile plate

I blew a fuse my systems shut down


Far, far away!

The deeper I burrowed into this self-abused corpse

The further away I travelled from all that was sane

I will never, ever forgot that pathetic fax you sent me

That was the wrong move at the wrong time


Down, down, down

The downward spiral was unleashed and I fell down the hole

Just like some rabbit blinded by the chemicals in its food

Nowhere to go , no friends , no relatives, nothing to hold on to

When this seat beltless terror ride started to gain momentum


The terror never ends,

I put everything on the line, I was burnt out from memories

I had never been so frustrated so fucking stupid

I had a whirlwind of jagged shards violently circling me

Nobody understood all the shit I was going through

I distanced myself further from the few that knew

It is a miracle I survived those years


Back in that geologic period that I call Geocolense

I try to bury all the sticky tar that was left of my wisdom

My well-being punched drunk from people who were immune

From all the problems that a rusted dented car could make


All decisions were a death sentence!


It should have been great

It should have been cool

It should have been a new start

For this hollow pathetic fool

Maybe just maybe you caught me in the act of deprived self-inflicted torture

Nobody wants to know what is swimming below the surface

An old dinosaur that has yet to evolve from the oceans

A primitive life form with jagged sharp teeth and no brain

A hideous virus that has been trapped as bacteria for a millennium

The geologic period that I will now call Geocolense


Scar after scar after blasted fucking scar

That year defaced many things that I was held

Geograffiti etched into the fabric of my soul

Geothermal therapy was just a no go


Maybe I should be like a Motley Crue record

With a big fat Parental Advisory sticker embedded in my mouth

Maybe then the people who think they know me by now

Will not get offended when I have another one of those days


All the time and money invested into another evaporated dream

Another geological period in this eternal life exposed

Another chapter in a book that should not be read

All my mind was boiled in poison stained into red


Maybe I am the one who has made all the wrong decisions

Maybe what I am feeling now is just a recipe for my disaster

Maybe I should just suffer in silence, my fault and my pain

Maybe all of you should just lock me out in the November rain.


No words can every convey my dismay

Or going down the wrong garden path

Stupid means stupid and I don’t know any other way

I should reflect, smile or laugh

All decisions led to my death sentence.

ChanGEOver

It was an awarding winning situation

It was the right hole at the right time

Going adventurous on the clean cut green

I got it all down to a lovely tee


Changing tracks on the tracking system

Going for broke when you’ve already missed ‘em

Screaming on the tulips in your slippery clogs

It started to thunder on the isle of dogs


Nothing makes sense when there is poetry noise

The sums never add up when you are missing a cent

Nothing ever becomes clear when the fog lifts up its skirt

We are never satisfied of that copy we sent


Changeover and it’s game over

And geologically insane

We got us all crossing the live rail tracks

Got an APT spluttering towards my back


We have train spotters with their Paddington marmalade

We have she devils on the leather couch waiting to get laid

We have so many things that just don’t belong

We could have got the porridge but we just didn’t get along


Does a leopard ever change its spots when it goes vegan?

Did the Jackal ever cackle when it had anger issues?
Did we become less human when we downloaded the app?

Why don’t we just shut up with this ludicrous crap


Changeover and it’s game over

It’s geographically insane

We got us all skipping on a tight rope

Got an Axl singing on the razors edge.


And we all know where we have been

But we don’t understand the reason

We went into the wrong direction

The reason we went the wrong way up

That dead end street

Was it to be cool?

Mainly because we are fools

Trying to impress a damsel in stress

Now how do we get out and off this mess?

We complain

But we are the ones to blame

And the fool in the mind is blind

And we travel on and over the condemned bridge

Don’t blame us if you fall into the abyss

And burn!


We have all got to change

Our thoughts

Our steps

Our hearts

And minds

Got to keep

A jingle in your toes

And the sun in your eyes

Drives you blind

And drives you mad

It is going to be a change

You wish you never had

It is a plastic toy

And Barbie girl

Confused with a whim

So give us a twirl

Change over

And bending over

In your moth eaten pullover

Feeling the winds of change

And combing back receding hair

Some things in life

Should not be there

Never makes sense

And pockets full of pence

And the cat has the claws

Just like the in-laws

And the dog got a bag

With its dirty mag

And all of this sounds

Like good shit is going down

And can’t get it to rhyme

It is a blasphemous crime

In the university halls

The tut tut tuts

And that is why

We have to change

Sir!

DisadvantaGEOus

Answers, questions, timing, words

Misinterpretation absurd

Screaming and dreaming

Your baby bullshit is screaming

It is not in your DNA

To acknowledge a life force like me

You are at odds

You don’t understand

The temperature that can be a man

Without your doubts

Without your shouts

You seem to rub off violently


I am everything I can’t possibly be

I am everything that is hate in me

I am frustrating, annoying and contagious

I am against the grain and disadvantageous


Bad views, no news, no clues

Disintoxication absurd

Pulling out and pulling away

Your sombre bullshit decay

It is not in your head

To acknowledge constructively

You are to blame

You can’t say my name

The boiling point that is in this man

Without a gauge

I am in a rage

You seem to rub me off violently


I am everything the world told you I couldn’t be

I am everything my mother had nightmares about

I am destroying, deleting and depleting

I am against your life and disadvantageous


Bloodshot eyes, snotty nose, no tissues

I am a virus diluted with whiskey

Wiping off the shit you placed on me

Your naïve views of the fake fucking news

It has forced into your head

To acknowledge something that was constructed

For them to play a game

You don’t understand

The tipping point of all humanity

Without a measure of doubt

We are a metric system rounded up

It all seems to vibrate violently


I am everything that Facebook would like deleted

I am everything the censors clamber over to reach

I am furious, delirious it’s goddamn ludicrous

I am against everything I am disadvantageous


Fists clenched, ears burning, memories explode

I am the anger you should not mix with

Inside I am pounding and grinding

Your mouth and it’s bullshit erodes

It is not in your puny little brain

To acknowledge that you are meaningless

You talk the talk

Try to walk the walk

But you don’t understand who is the man

So play with your boys

And your worn out sex toys

That you use so violently


I am everything you can never touch

I am everything you desire so much

I am fire, I am insane, I will never be the same

Totally unnecessary and so disadvantageous.

SurGEOn

Cutting up the memories that you need to fade away

Sawing and a clawing and shedding a tear a day

Got a little pretty white suit with straps to tie you down

You’ve got it all sussed like the pond drowned the duck


You are all crackers and going a little bit senile

The pressure in your heads means your brain cells swell

You are swollen from thought you will burst like a balloon

But I have a lot of shit to do so I hope it ends soon


We have an encrypted folder full of daily photos

A thousand little fake innocents who forgot to wear clothes

Cut it out and delete and return back to the start

Get a life, get a honey and try to grow a heart


No matter how much of the shit we try to cut out

Like a worm cut in two we always have double trouble

We try to erase and sometimes we try to rewind

But we got ourselves in a tangle and no one burst the bubble


You have to be cold like the room of a surgeon

You have to be mechanical and clinical in every way

Don’t let the world do a living breathing autopsy on you

Because you will be no good to anyone when they’re through

When all your best pieces of your life are laying around

Fragile like a Chinese vase shattered beyond repair

It doesn’t matter how often you do the spring cleaning

Dust will settle, acid will corrode life’s not fair


When your intestines are docile and tired in knots

When you intensify passion and you get blood clots

When your heart is pumping venom to your brain

Too late to cut your losses in this never-ending game


Sometimes we can delete our memories way to easily

Like a surgeon cutting away at fat in a doctors surgery

Somethings are incorrect and should not be so polite

We are blind in the end as we never see the light


Nit picking and limb kicking body blow surprise

Squirting fresh lemon juice into someone’s eyes

Find someone else to blame when it’s really you

Scalpel and scalped blunt scissors so askew


There is nothing greater that a methodical surgeon

Instead you are nothing more than a butcher

In a back street run down discount store

You had self-discipline when the sun brightly

But in this dead end darkest ever alley

You are just a withered rose without water


Hacking away at limps hardened with rigor mortis

The butcher’s knife so blunt it may as well be stone

Why are you so determined to hack away these lines

You should walk away with dignity leave the past alone.

DunGEOn

It has been too good lately

There has been too much daylight between the last episode and the next

It has been surreal really

How I have not gone mental for a couple of weeks almost satisfying

It has been worrying me

Knowing the long interlude means the next time I snap it will be titanic

It will be coming soon

Take cover and hide this will not be pretty at all


When I am done

I will be in the wrong

So many fingers pointing at me

Did you hear?

Did you feel fear?

When the rage popped out of me

He did it again

He must be insane

There is something not right in that boy

Phone the police

Lock him away

Send him to the furthest darkest dungeon


It was violent but not physical

I have so much anger stored inside of me that I needed to release

Obviously I shouldn’t have

Said all those darkest cruellest things that seem unjust and unfair and excessive

My words cut deep

I know that I was too far gone and too over the edge but would could I do?

I feel I’ve let everyone down

That is the usual feeling I have had inside me for the last 40 years


When I am through

What do you do?

Maybe reflect and shed a tear

Did you know

Did you see

How the fuck can you live with me?

He did it again

This is not a game

There is something distasteful in that boy

Phone the military

Soldiers of death

Send him to the furthest darkest dungeon


I was powerless

I just cannot do this anymore the feelings I have all compressed inside of me

Broken fuse

So many things and so many people expect so much of me but in the end

I am just a failure

If I can’t keep my own feelings to myself, my doubts my anxiety issues covered

How can I survive

When I am no good to no one and the future will only bring more tears and tragedy


When I am alone

How do you do?

So many of my own thoughts judging me

Did I hear?

The neighbours moan

When the volcano erupted in me

He did it again

Tear up his contract

We don’t want to live above that disturbed boy

Phone the Vatican

The secret service

Send him to the furthest darkest dungeon


It’s never easy

Trying to understand and pave a path forward through thick and thin

So many temptations

But nothing will quench my fire my rage of a world gone wrong for me

I try to hold on

Like others who are fighting for the lives we write in hope it soothes our open sores

What now?

I can’t forget or delete every episode I will just have to learn to live with the results of my actions


When I am sane

I know I have done wrong

So many incidents condemning me

Did I hear?

My self-confidence die

When I failed to anchor myself down

I did it again

You stupid cunt

I didn’t ask to me this pathetic shallow minded boy

Phone the asylum

Speeding ambulance

Take me away to your dirtiest darkest dungeon.

PiGEOnhole

Don’t get me in a hole in one

Don’t catch me I am already gone

Don’t try to tag a sticky label on me

I am nameless relentless I remain free


Changing my course like a hovercraft gone mad

Riding the waves that make most artists sad

Change of style and a change of pace

Nobody ever told me it was all a race


Too many people have taken far too much time

Too many people betting on a fairground ride

Too predictable and it’s just warmed up soup

It is poetry noise on a never ending loop


It could have be better if I thought just a little harder

My philosophy states this is the way it should be

Don’t nit-pick my every single word

Don’t take it so serious and don’t pigeonhole me


Don’t take me for granted I have a death sentence

I am gritty, not pretty missing the elegance

Too far gone on a spiritual ghost train

Got demons in my parachutes and no name


It could have been successful if I had paid attention

Too many people thought I was off of my rocker

Too streamlined and not so fucking aerodynamic

I forgot to pull the plug when I got into a panic

I forgot to give you a warning that I don’t need pity

So don’t fuck with destiny and don’t pigeonhole me


I took too long to grew some confidence

I lost my gut in the dirtiest of underpants

I was fishing in a pool that was devoid of life

I was cutting cheese with a spoon instead of a knife


I always have taken the scenic route to town

I always arrived when it was time to turn around

I missed the last bus home when I was crying over milk

I was an arrogant twat full of guile and guilt


It could have been something if it had been better than nothing

I was firing nails into my pine smelling coffin

Too delicate and heavy for the metal that’s inside me

I tripped over my lost screws and caressed my destiny

I forget to jot down my will and testament

Even though I am penniless from all that I’ve spent

I could settle right now for a scone and a cup of tea

Just don’t over brew it and don’t you fucking dare

Pigeonhole me.

GEOstruction

We build our dreams and futures upon the foundations of tears wept from past losses

We build our habitats from sand on the beaches in winter time at high tide

We build just for the sake of building to show the world we are worth something

We are building and constructing knowing that tomorrow everything will be destroyed


Lost at sea and your friend your enemy

The food you’ve bought reduced to mould

Your shoes leak in water toes are freezing

Your clean clothes on the balcony full of soot


What are we building for?

Are we building for the apocalypse ?

Because every action we are sweating over

Tomorrow will all come undone


We build a fantasy of kings and queens and all of their servants fighting for equality

We build on the fables of the past and the manipulated transcripts of those who were blind

We build just for the succulent taste of progress adding to the earths compulsory demise

We are building and constructing knowing that tomorrow will be a barren day


Lost in the crowds on a desolate high street

The gifts you’ve exchanged aren’t worth their weight in gold

The umbrella you hold collapses when it rains

Your clothes shrink when they start to stink


What are we building for?

When death will take everything away

Because nobody has a future anymore

The west was never really won


We build over small streams in cardboard apartments ignorant to the one hundred year storm

We build huge flimsy glass houses open to the sun in the worst part of tornado alley

We build such delicate buildings that seem impossible to build in the most volatile of places

We are building and constructing with an addiction to arrogance we will tear our hair out


Silence is deafening in the screaming winds of a hurricane

The poison that entices you like a siren song

The need to be fit and the need to fit in

The beauty of impossible is just a fake dream


We build up a fortune while we sit in protective castles watching the poor people die

We build up a reputation as being heartless and then we buy up some females along the way

We build up a large portfolio to impress and delight knowing all words are false gods

We are building and constructing literally shapeshifting knowing tomorrow will be gold


We look to each other hoping for an answer

We fumble for the light in the darkest tunnel

We look for small miracles to keep our sanity healthy

We build little fantasies to feed off when miserable


We try to understand why we are left alone to suffer

We try to build an understanding while our strength falters

We should have trust in the governments who should lead by example

They who construct a false hope they who build lies


What are we building for?

Are we building for the apocalypse ?

GEO

It’s the end and you know it kid

Don’t do what I did

Everything has a consequence

Ruining your death sentence


Little waves rippling all around you

Every little action starts an effect

We are all linked into each other

For better or worse for the stress and hate

We are just one huge political debate


Some of us floating along like happy little otters in a rain storm

Some of us are paddling against the tide in a torrential downpour

Some us are just so happy without having an identity

Some of us are lucky not to over think everything


It’s all these things floating around in my head

Bits of information and incomplete conversations

That I did not get to finish because some cunt

Just had to interrupt because he thought he had the right

To stop my conversation and start his conversation

Because what he said was really fucking interesting

You know the type of conversations in the bars

When men talk about the great new perfume for men

And how soft his legs feel after he has just had his hairs ripped off

There was a time when only the gay community shaved their bodies

But now it is the manly thing to be bold and beautiful?

You interrupted my conversation for this?

Shaking my head I drink up my beer, leave the establishment

My conversation will never be finished or fished again


I was feeling alright before I was interrupted

I was mellow and sipping slowly a drink

Just one collision with another soul changed my direction

I have gone off onto a tangent and I am lost in myself


Just a little wave and now I am miffed and muffled

All I wanted was to have my say

It takes a rude boy just to give me a rude awakening

It totally destroyed my day


Just like at work or play when you have a great idea for something

And spend a long time developing that idea weighing up the possibilities

And along comes some teachers pet to take all the praise from you

All that you have done in the last twenty years of your working life is forgotten

Because these new slimy creatures do what the authorities what them to do

Without making a noise or getting into a dead end conversation

All the pats on the backs and glory fall on those who can’t tie their own laces

And they think the shit they serve in the canteen is the best thing since sliced bread

These are the creatures who cannot party hard because they have to be alert

To get to work half an hour early to dust down their computers and willy warmers

They make sure they are well shaved with perfect commercial looking hair

You are a fine fucking photo you will get what you deserve


I was feeling radicalised before you walked in

I got my job done I almost had a grin

Now it doesn’t matter how hard or long I work

I will never be better than that fucking berk


There are waves everywhere connecting us all

This is the GEO in our lives we can’t be free floaters

There is always someone who is going to make a difference

For better or worse, death sentences


Everything was not intended

I didn’t mean to make you cry

I didn’t want you to leave behind what you had to leave behind

Sometimes I speak my mind

Sometimes my view is hostile

Don’t believe everything I have ever said

Just look and see

Collect information and study

We are like an asteroid belt of multiple dimensions

We can’t pass through it without touching someone

Not all the people are smiling at you

They are smiling at a happy memory in a moment of despair

Not all people were being sweet to you sincerely

It was just the work code that they had to abide to

If they did not say please or thank you they could be without a job

Without a job they couldn’t pay for the smartphones or its tariffs

Because they have to keep connected with the virtual world

Where all things false remain a priority

They buy clothes to impress an audience that doesn’t care less

All the time the weight of rejection is pulling everyone down

Nobody wants to interact anymore with the fear of reprisals

No matter how far we travel and how many people we meet

In the twenty fours that make the day we just cannot hide away

Because we have to eat and shop and go to work

We have to hear the opinions of others no matter how bland they are

We are connected to this earth little balls of fluff frolicking in the wind

This is what is GEO it is how we connect and how we react to these collisions

Even though we can’t cancel out the people and the hurt and the feelings

We cannot stop interaction, we cannot stop falling into traps

There will be always at least one cunt who will destroy your day

There will be at least one smile that you wish you had made

There will be a never-ending random selection of colliding asteroids

And I?

I will be as unstable as I always have been, the man with too much mind power

Too much imaginary wondering of the parallels and the what could bes

I am after all this neurotic poet with too much fantasy.


CurmudGEOn

Have you ever gone foraging and hit upon a huge hornets nest?

You ran like fuck like a tornado was pointing at your arse

Have you ever sat to eat a sandwich and found yourself covered in termites?

You will be scratching them away in your wet dreams tonight…


Coming soon on a wide white screen near you

A list of nasty things you should never do

Don’t kick the bucket it could be full of piss

Drowning your sorrows on a damp mattress


There was a time when we were all free

I remember the time there was nothing wrong with me

But the stars fell from the heavens one by one

I collided with an asteroid belt , Curmudgeon


I tried to dance like a goat in the springtime

Shedding layers of negativity instead of tears

I tried to drown myself in some kind of dignity

That is when I tasted profound misery


I feel better when I am this sad

Trying to imagine a life I have never had

Fantasising over things that will never be

Taking to myself is insanity


Watching the clock ticking in some backstreet bar

Never wanting to know how far you are

Just words on paper no truth just a rhyme

Drinking away all this precious time


Sometimes I raise my head up and see the sky

I ask many questions like how to live or die

But the peace lasts a moment the pain returns again

I step outside my social self into the freezing rain


Just when I think I’m going in the right direction

I realise I left the motorway two hours ago

Now in a desert void of emotion or intentions

I fuel my rotten self and its pathetic ego


I remember a time when there was innocence in this world

That was when the parents and teachers hid the truth

Year by year I saw the mirage turn into Armageddon

And out of the void grew this redheaded Curmudgeon


I can never see myself tiptoeing through the tulips

With a smile on my face and not a care in the world

I carry around a self-grown burden dragged along the gravel

That’s one metre deep and the gravel is so fine

That hinders every footstep you try to take

Some hidden gardener is behind you with his rake

Sweeping away your progress and the footprints and tears

You try to scramble forward but with this progress it would take years

On all fours you scramble and try to accelerate

But you feel yourself being sucked down to your fate

Dust clouds getting higher and you choke on the stench

Trying to focus on the future that looks like a garden bench

Everything you have imagined fades into the limelight

A theatrical malfunction that they could never get right

Spinning around in a vortex that twists your pleasures and fears

How could anyone abandon you so cruelly right now and right here!


Got to stop to think, stop to recharge

Try to fathom out what I’m doing wrong

In my darkness I hear the laughter

The laughter from the bullies and thugs of my past

The ones who stitched me up into something hideous

Who cast me out into the real world so twisted and deformed

I was so fucking messed up my parents didn’t want me at home

I was reborn and reshaped by the cowards in society

They ripped out my heart and all of the good in me

Without my pride and glory, my destiny would never be one

I became this heartless bastard that you now call Curmudgeon








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