Excerpt for Aspie Geek 4 Life: a poetry book by , available in its entirety at Smashwords




by Chad Descoteaux

who also writes sci-fi novels

right here on Smashwords



I oftentimes talk to myself and people think I’m insane

But my bizarre thoughts must be sorted before they enter my brain

As this harsh world circles around me, I can’t let anything in

That would throw off my center balance or just tempt me to sin


I should be working. “Concentrate on what you must do.

Why are you thinking about a monster movie spoof?

About that movie…that you would like to direct

With cheap rubber suits and miniature buildings to wreck

With zero computer effects.”


I’m not on the drugs. I was born this way.

If you’re freaked out by me then what can I say?

Never took drugs. I was born this way.

Straight as the plains. I’m not stoned or gay.


My life, my friends…

Is a suicidal mission of conquest

Over complexity’s missiles.

My thoughts, right now…

Are a series of cabinets

That contain the freakiest X-Files


My books I wrote

Just might sell very well.

If other humans feel my pain.

If I didn’t write

The thoughts in my brain

The clutter might just drive me sane!


Minds that are narrow can focus like nothing at all.

Expanded mindset so broad that I fear I might fall.

Becomes hard for me to walk tall

Cuz I’m not on drugs…I was born this way

If you don’t believe me, what more can I say?

My perception’s been twisted from the very first day

I came into the world that made me this way


I just poked my head

out of the wet dirt

If someone picks me before I bloom

I know that it’s just gonna hurt

Don’t take me out of the garden yet

I’m still growing, I’m not through

I have some growing left to do

My leaves aren’t strong enough to do it on my own

I’m asking you to protect me, please

You gave me life and continue to water me

so Mr. Planter please nourish these leaves

I want to stay rooted…

…nice and rooted

pretty and rooted…

My roots pick up nourishment

All the nourishment that I need

Mr. Planter protects me from weeds

and caterpillars that want a piece of me

They’re ugly and they’re hairy too

Like me, they have growing up to do

All the time that I spend in the ground

with the nutrients I just can’t live without

Will prepare me for that beautiful day

when mutually I gently get picked out

…and get unrooted

freedom unrooted

love is unrooted…

If I were to get picked out of the ground right now

I could not survive in a vase with another rose’s thorns

All my petals would fall out

and I would croak early in the morn

And every falling leaf will mean a year I should have waited

basking in the refreshing garden sun and solitude that I hated

And all the seeds that fall from me

will feel my regret

They’ll grow up just like I’m doing now

but they never will forget

My complaining and my bitterness

I’ll be torn apart when I confess

that I am starting to miss being a single stem in the soil

I can’t go back and I cannot sway

so I will just have to toil

on building up those precious seeds

that have wounds from my own thorns

I’ve been bitter about my choice

since long before those seeds were born

I know how I am

I think about it before I sleep

I wanna be super careful

so I can look before I leap

So right now, I’ll soak up what I can

Sink my roots deeper in this life

Grow stronger with each passing strife

Until the day that I get uprooted…

…totally uprooted

…blissfully uprooted

…forever uprooted


Got a dead end job just to make a dime.

Skills to pay the bills come from Burger Time

It’s quitting time…need to set my dome free.

Got no online games. It’s 1993.

Too broke for the movies, but I just stole

My mom’s laundry money…quarters in a roll

There’s a neon place that I could go

To focus my anxiety on what I know

Mastering deadly traps with the flick of a stick

And some button combinations making Bison sick

Along with Shredder and Kano, Shadow Master and me

Kicking butt from Double Dragon down to MK3.

I got there when they opened, my mind’s in a haze

Cuz all the games blur together by the end of the day

Ninja Gaiden used a Gauntlet in a Contra with this

Teenage Mutant Ninja Q-Bert playing NFL Blitz

I don’t care about tickets, they’re a waste of time

Never played a game of Skee Ball that could warp my mind

Like Altered Beast on a Rampage with old King Tut

Putting the Triforce of Power in the crack of his butt

Or that Aerosmith game, the shooting one

My name must be Janie, cuz I got a gun

I’m a Paperboy, who gets extra credit.

For breaking certain people’s windows, mafia aesthetics.

Another quarter near my fingers , someone else wants to play

But I can’t leave now, cuz the light of day

Will pummel my eyeballs like Zangief just did

“I throw the fireballs around here, kid!”

When I’m screaming at the sun, I’m in the frame of mind

To face life head-on, cuz I’m feeling fine.

Spent my entire paycheck in just one day

Thankfully, tomorrow’s grandma’s laundry day.

Game Over!


Not saying that my life is dull.

But silence tonight is buzzing in my skull.

There’s nothing…to do

Except for those things I don’t wanna do.

I have been told a thousand times

That isolation can make you just go blind

And make…

You act like someone who just isn’t kind

I seek to free myself from selfishness today

Seek the companionship of humans on this day

Cuz it’s Friday

Call my friends seeking what I seek

Because I dealt with my boss all stinking week

My friends…

Are taking this time just to organize

Run errands and do important things

Like paying bills and shopping for odds and ends

This is…

The main problem with having married friends

I want to have some fun without going insane

“Boredom Enhancement”…not the greatest game

To play on Friday

Can’t go alone to the local mall.

Annoying teens like the junior high school’s halls

Should be…

More understanding. I’m only twenty-five.

Go see a movie to kill some time

I go alone and relax my behind

I lost…some limbs

Snacks just cost me an arm and leg

I keep being reminded of why I like to stay

Inside the house whenever I venture out

Seeking new sights on a Friday


Rabid robot monkeys

And alien babies

Time travel safari guides

are good with the ladies

Cyborgs hunt werewolves

and they do it well

Never would have thought of that

if I hadn’t fell

I start acting silly

when I’ve had enough

of people and nonsense

and all that stuff

My imagination just shoots through the roof

My writing and my rambling are the hardest of proof

Sci-fi…is good for the brain

When you’re…already insane

Insanity…will help you conceive it

And weird strange humor will help people believe it

I drink lots of soda

It’s part of my life

What would happen if soda

machines came to life?

Grow arms and some wheels

To travel around

The robots get angry

Each other they pound

Beautiful female geeks

You never see them around

Only online and in movies

Why are they nowhere to be found?

Sci-fi…is good for your brain

Because…you’re no longer sane

Would starve…if you ever met me

Cuz you are a vampire that drinks sanity


I hold up my thick sword with pride

Small gnome standing by my side

Quiver filled up on my back

to quell the threat of troll attack

They come up from the mountains high

with torches lit and arrows fly

They capture castles, hunt the men

of this small town with huts again


Burn like the straw of the roof

The soldier trolls all need proof

of their fierce attack. Their bag is full

of the gold and the loot that they stole

Potions, orbs and a bowl

What is found in the sacred scroll?


“Soon will come the one

dragoons cannot outrun

His speed cannot be beat

Wings are on his feet

His friends are the ones who are

progressed in magic far

Been with him since his birth

when he has proved his worth


He’ll play his world’s most dangerous game

Tossing blistering flame

from the blue orb he got from a dwarf

Who looks like a frog and a guy

but he just has one eye

and he lives in a mountain loft.”


I know I am the one.

Fighting elves is fun.

Beautiful princess

Seems to be impressed

Belt of chastity?

Key given to me

Since I have these hit points to spare

then tell me why should I care

if the town is in pure despair?

Dragons have joined in the fray

lighting farms full of hay

So this princess can’t be here all day


When all is said and done

Make sure this war is won

Shield blocks dragon’s flame

and other blows the same

Toss potions here and there

trolls turn to clumps of hair

Attacks come from all side

A giant gecko ride

Geckos have great speed

A must when you’re in need

You have ten troops to lead

Arrow made you bleed


You are the chosen one true

Do you know what to do

when a dragon lord runs you through?

You must find the ‘Knights Who Say Nee’

or some sanctuary

like a save point or a gremlin tree


Gremlins have the feel

for a thousand ways to heal

Wounded in the fight?

Fix elixirs right

Cauldron black as night

Stir by torches light

Pour on bloody wounds

that should be healing soon

Hear footsteps on the stairs

“What’s he doing here?”

Green face scowls with hate

Intruder barks “Too late!”


This troll’s face is pounding with lust

Potions start to combust

when they start to touch arrow’s flame

Before the fire starts to consume

the entire cave room

Didn’t know there were pipe bombs in this game


Armor that you wear.

Designed not to tear.

Fairies protecting you.

Fire burning you.

Troll’s black corpse is fried.

In an act of suicide.

Grabbing in effect

those you could protect

Protect an imp named Neil

with your enchanted shield

Still hear gremlins shout

hit points draining out

Harsh lessons be learned

Battle as you burn


Recall all the lessons you learn

Because it still is your turn

Cuz you acquired the fairy’s card

The most powerful card in the game

This one item’s the same

as getting all five orbs from Sod


I am in seventh grade

I’m glad this game is played

in my neighborhood

I think I’m doing good

That troll I hit in the head

is really Cousin Fred

I fight for my reward

This shovel is my sword

We’ve been playing it for weeks

People call us geeks

My mom don’t think its cool

“Why don’t you go to school?”

“Because Troll Master lives!!!”

My mom shrugs like she gives.

The landlord’s pretty pissed

that we live in the yard.

“Why’d you eat my tulips?

Are you a complete retard?”

Must eat to stay alive

even when evil thrives.

Although we haven’t bathed

since we last spoke with sage

He’s so very wise and aged

Write another page.

That was at least three weeks

“Get away from me, you geeks!

You smell like unwashed butt

go back to your hut!

That you made from leaves and sticks

Mud, paste and Dixie Chicks

posters to scare away ghosts.

If you touch me, geek, you’re toast.”

Fine, girls, go away

Don’t need you anyway

Have all the love I need

from the princess of Yore, indeed

It’s highly overrated, see

what you freaks call “reality”

I’ve never understood the appeal

of what you see, just cuz it’s “real”

I could never fit in over there

But at least I can get girls in here.

The more you stay away

from “real” things everyday

the less befuddling pain

makes its way to your brain.


Most people that I know tend to judge

whether or not they have plunged

their own life into happiness.

By how many different times they can flee

from their reality

Bars, nightclubs, brothels...overindulge.


I kind of pity you.

Cuz I was just like you.

I just found a way to deal.

With your treasured state of “real”

Being strange is not

as dangerous as people act

“Conform, fit on the shelf

Never think for yourself

Escape the way most do

Drink, smoke, drink, then puke

Rot from the inside

This world’s sad coaster ride”

If you judge me, soon

you’ll find out I’m immune

to any words you say.

Look at me today.

I live in mud and I

wear some around my eye

But I’m HAPPIER than you

what can you say or do

to EVER put me down?

I must return to town

to quell the new attack

the Troll Master is back.


Journey to continue this game

on foot, my animal’s lame

Through the gremlins’ corpses I have slain

I take something seriously

that has benefit to me

How many of you freaks can say the same?


At the asylum!

Chillin’ in my padded cell

Cushioned when I just fell

Rubbing alcohol smell

Medicated very well



The only two drugs

That they haven’t given me

To take away the things I see

Goblins are biting me!


And unicorns!

Just stole my sister’s purse

Carjacking a pink Hurst

Schizophrenia’s a curse

Let me sing another verse


At the asylum!

People in the white coats

Giving me the right dose

So I don’t view as a tease

Suicidal tendencies


Snap back to reality!

Where nothing is biting me.

Restrictive as it might be

Padded walls set me free!


I remember!

When I was a lot like you.

Doing all the things you do.

Nice house and garage for two

For me and my ‘baby-boo’



Crashed down all around me.

Started to confound me.

Loss and sad irony

Also starts to pound me


That’s when I snap!

And I went to another place.

Where I have another face

Free from the human race

Where I can be my own ace.


At the asylum!

No one is judging me.

Based on prestige or money.

Take my pills and be polite.

Staring at the walls white


Wake up for another day

That’s success in its own way.

No more insects in my hair

In my nose or derrière.


They told me that shortly before I came here

That I was yelling ‘bout monsters that you should fear

I was running through Wal-Mart without my pants

Waving ‘round a plunger as I did my dance

Taped a rubber duck to my head for fun

As the Wal-Mart greeter dialed 9-1-1.

I was trying to fight off the ninja sheep

When store security put me to sleep

And I woke up here in my cushioned pad.

So drugged up, I was feeling rad

My toes were not eating my feet

And there was a cease-fire with the ninja sheep.

This is where I want to stay

That’s why I wrote this poem, cuz I wanna say…


At the asylum!

Red pills make ya nice and calm

No great need to feel alarm

No visits from my mom?

This asylum is the bomb!


Straight jacket keeps me safe

Better than an A.K.

Feel good, what can I say?

I could stay here all day


In a room full of people.

A thousand conversations.

The room keeps spinning.

Figure out how to jump in.

“Is this weird?  The way I keep wringing my hands?

Is this off-putting?  I should find a comic book fan.”

The one thing that I know WAY too much about.

Normal people like it too.  It makes me want to shout.

As much I want to be a social butterfly

I rack my brain to figure out how or why

I even want to when my head is more comfy.

Small things are distracting.  Is my shirt lumpy?

Is that girl single?  Is that a new flavor of

Mike’s Hard Lemonade?  Is that a purple dove

On that girl’s purse?  I wonder if she can see me.

How do I say “hi” without being creepy?

With that deer in the headlights stare I always get.

Somewhere between “hi” and “Meet my husband Brett!”

Forced eye contact.  Fingers tapping on my knee caps.

Done with socializing.  Go talk to my friend’s cat.

“I am kinda jealous at the way you bathe, Simba.

I don’t have a rough tongue and I’m not that limber.

Those people seem cool, but I don’t understand them.

Their obsession with the real world just seems quite random

To me now.”

How did my world get in this room?

I peek out cautiously through my eyes

Hope I can come out soon.

I like living inside my head

Where I can be understood

Forget social cues, because conformity’s dead.

Conformity’s dead.

(verse two)

Now that I’m married, social cues can take a back seat

To spending time at home with something awesome to eat

My apartment is still an extension of my over-crowded head

A little neater, little warmer, brighter colors on my bed

Only let people in, who are respectful and who get me

When I do something weird, only stuck-up people sweat me

Conformity’s a girlfriend that I kicked to the curb

When I found myself a wife who can tolerate a nerd

Who watches cartoons like it’s normal for my age

While being clumsy and distracted, spilling milk onto the page

Of a first-edition comic book guest-starring Boba Fett

Then being sad the rest of the day, like I just lost a pet.

No need to pretend that I care about sports

Or “he said” “she said”, nosy teenage girl reports

Coming out of grown people who think that I’m swearing

When I say “Asperger”…their eyes start glaring.

“Ass burger?”…”No, asperger with a P.” 

They don’t get it.  I don’t care.  Roll your eyes.  I’ll just be me.

Surround yourself with people...non-judgmental and who get it.

Laugh at the people…so uptight they start to sweat it!

Got Aspergers?

How did my world get in this room?

I peek out cautiously through my eyes

Hope I can come out soon.

I like living inside my head

Where I can be understood

Forget social cues, because conformity’s dead.

Conformity’s dead.

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(Pages 1-24 show above.)