Double Exposure
By Samantha Terrell
2019
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Acknowledgments
The poet gives first publishing credit and her immense gratitude to the following:
America, America' was first used by Poets Responding to Senate Bill 1070
Awkwardness-es was first published by Anti-Heroin Chic
Domestic Disturbance first appeared in DoveTales, An International Journal of the Arts
Don’t Call Me Names was first published by Algebra of Owls
Enough is Enough first appeared in DoveTales, An International Journal of the Arts
Exoneration first appeared in DoveTales, An International Journal of the Arts
Exposure was first published by KnotLit Magazine
Fellowship Halls was used with permission by Unity Presbyterian Church; Clarksville, IA
Green Ball, Center Pocket was first published by KnotLit Magazine
Humble Me was first used by Poetry Super Highway's 18th Annual Yom HaShoah Issue
I Always Try to Look Up was first published by Dissident Voice
Light and Air was used with permission in Ft. Myers, FL school district
Linguistics was first published by Literary Orphans
Manners was first published by LaBloga Floricanto
Moral Character first appeared in Poetry Quarterly
Ocean was first used in conjunction with Roberto Cerini Photography
Pandemic first appeared in Ebola, a chapbook by West Chester University, Pennsylvania
Poverty first appeared in DoveTales, An International Journal of the Arts
Refrain first appeared in DoveTales, An International Journal of the Arts
Sacrifices first appeared in DoveTales, An International Journal of the Arts
Seasons first appeared in DoveTales, An International Journal of the Arts
Self-Awareness was first published by The Piker Press
Self-Worth was used with permission by The Republic Monitor; Republic, MO
Taken for Granted was used with permission by Writing for Peace
These Are My Trophies was first published by Dissident Voice
Upside-down World first appeared in the Poetry Explosion Newsletter; Pittsburgh, PA
Vacant Visionaries was first published by Dissident Voice
When Time Reveals Itself was part of an online project at Visual Verse
Don't Call Me Names
I am not Muslim.
I am not Black.
I am not gay, lesbian,
Or transgender.
I am not
Heterosexual,
Either.
I am not Hispanic or Caucasian, Protestant or Catholic.
I am not
An alcoholic,
Nor am I mentally ill. It doesn't matter whether
I am
Or am not
A member
Of the NRA. It doesn't matter how, or where, or when I was raised.
My growth is exponential
Only to your hate.
I am not an atheist. And, I am not a fool.
For, I can find
Ways to teach
Even the most unschooled.
Fear is my great benefactor,
But I am not the rich.
And I am not the poor.
I can be elusive, but I am not the truth,
Though I cannot be denied.
Try to name me,
If you want your proof.
∞
Green Ball, Center Pocket
In the moist basement
Of our youth,
There was a pool-table
With its relentlessly obtuse
Angles, thwarting
Boredom between
Family meals.
But the naïve
Are short-sighted,
Ignoring the warnings that fertility
Exists for growth. And, soon bright
Orange and green billiard balls
Would be forever sunken in
Our memory’s pockets; a filled in foundation.
∞
Seasons
Child, as you yearn,
The adolescent strains,
Adults strive, and
Elders wane.
How I would spare you
Hurt and pain, but
To do so would spoil,
And rob you of life's toil
Which teaches all,
Regardless of age or race;
So with each season,
Know the burden is this:
Accept, and embrace.
∞
Refrain
Good deeds done
Need no accolades;
Even money well-spent
Is just spent money,
And patting one's own
Back can cause strain
Sometimes a gift
Isn't in the giving;
Though a well-timed
Word takes work,
A parent's nod
Can mean more than scolding,
And sometimes, to give,
Means withholding.
∞
Exoneration
While politicians nit-pick,
Lobbyists lobby,
Workers work,
Parents provide,
And monastics meditate,
Justice journeys on,
The innocent inmate,
Watchful of a world
Working actively against it,
Patiently awaiting pardon;
Until that hour of
Quiet redemption comes
When acquittal arrives, and
The face of the once-condemned,
Is graciously made known.
∞
Manners
I’m sorry,
Please, and Thank you;
You forgive me,
I’ll forgive you.
For people that have
Come and gone,
Wars that have been
Lost and won,
Deeds that have been
Done, undone
We say
I’m sorry,
Thank you, and Please;
I’ll forgive you,
You forgive me.
Say goodbye
Atrocity,
Formality,
Bureaucracy…
Make way for
What was once-called
Common courtesy.
∞
Fellowship Halls
I’m a long-standing member
Of that church
Of peeling plaster
Walls; and cob-
Webbed corners,
And sob-
Filled souls; with a basement room
Full of cold folding-chairs,
And a piano that’s out of tune,
But the genuine faces
And fresh coffee
Make warm spaces
(Away from mega-church throngs)
In the small church,
Where I always belong.
∞
Domestic Disturbance
Your privacy was invaded
Today,
When your car stalled outside
My
Window. You didn't know I saw you, though I wasn't trying to hide;
You just didn't have time
To notice me while your soul was busy
Shrinking into all that was left of it to be,
In shadows cast by the hulking hostile presence
Of your husband. And, through my office windowpane your half-profiles danced to the violently Silent disturbance
Of this quarrel. Until I make out something you say,
That you're sorry and you love him. And then he goes away.
I'm curious why he was mad at
You, but does it really matter?
Then the irony
Of that shiny
Thing catches my eye....
A peace sign
Dangling innocently from your rearview
Mirror.
∞
Poverty
I’m embarrassed to tell you
We spent $100 U.S. dollars
At our corner market today.
Your corners have no markets,
No wells,
No faucets.
Your child
Has no bath,
While I scold mine
For too much splashing on the floor.
So much excess…
What’s it all for?
Our children see fireworks shows
At theme parks.
Yours flee gun-fire and smoke.
And now I really must rest my head
(we bought a new mattress, and bedroom set).
But tonight I wonder, where is your bed?
∞
Sacrifices
Before the lamb
Lay down with the lion,
The cub bit the sheep
And wounds ran deep.
The fawn and wild boar
Bedded-down not
Upon forest’s lush floor,
Without nature’s
Painful consequences
Showing true colors
Once more.
As final, futile acts
Before a peaceful
Course set; today’s
Pacts, preceded by
Yesterday’s
Shameful fits.
∞
Enough Is Enough
An herb is no better
Than a shrub,
A turnip no less lovely
Than a tulip, but while
Nature provides beauty in
Abundance and variety,
Humanity insanely seeks
Plentitude through sameness;
Challenging creation, its
Creatures walk in ignorance
Working stubbornly
Against the greater good,
As though inherently better;
Rather than accepting,
Enough, trumps much.
∞
Taken for Granted
Tonight, my sons
Eat pizza that I pulled
From my electric oven
With a hot blast in my face,
Transporting me to our own youth
When oven heat from
A floor-vented furnace, sent
Our pink nightgowns billowing up
In clouds of warmth.
We giggled, and sighed with relief
At the security of that heat,
In our childhood home;
Even as, Mother Nature has presently,
Simultaneously, stolen
The comfort of your homes
From both of you
In your respective struggles,
I worry over you from a distance
With overdue gratitude for
A family home,
A source of heat, and the
Laughter of sisterhood.
∞
Self-Worth
When I was all I had,
And the leaves
On the ground
Were damp and brown,
Our home phone would ring
At Six each evening
As we sat down to eat
Our green beans and milk and meat.
But I kept a book,
Where worries rested,
Beside my bed,
In their only home outside my head,
And I would lie awake sometimes ‘til Three,
To write, and read, and find
That all I had,
Was all I’d need.
∞
These Are My Trophies
Would that
Words
Become my
Trophies, heard
By contemplative
Souls
Who
Only
Seek that
Which I fear I cannot give,
But am forever after
Trying to; as the pensive
Reflection tells me anyway,
In this, my computer-screen trophy case.
∞
When Time Reveals Itself
When history
Books
Come flying
Off shelves, it may
Be natural
To try
And stop
The clock
That sits so solidly atop
The bookcase of humanity,
Complete with the
Knowledge of our ancestry,
But heeding,
Rather than
Halting
Time, could hold the clues
To stop the world from
Crashing down around us.
∞
Vacant Visionaries
Empty eyes
Use
A looking-glass to see
Reality
That’s fabrication,
Making images to suit the occasion
Finding what isn’t
Present,
And using false
As a witness.
To say nothing of (lacking) fact,
These glassy-eyes reflect falsehoods, diverting truthful impact.
∞
Self-Awareness
I do believe,
By happenstance
Perhaps
(And quite because of
My own selfish greed, I'm sure), that life is but a
Mirage of sorts, seeming to grant us control of a situation,
When actually, though it counters intuition,
We're really only ever offered awareness...
And just enough,
To cause the questioning soul in us to stir; and when it does,
We can vaguely see, the human mind's
A most unusual kind
Which leads us to believe
We control certain deeds;
And as a matter of fact, I did just write this sentence!
And yet,
I can spare myself regret,
In that to lose and to gain,
Though they hardly seem at all the same,
Can be likened to exactly that,
In the eyes of the omni-present.
∞
Upside-Down World
Too often we look emotionally
Upon that which needs objectivity
And too often we look objectively
Upon matters of the heart
Why do we walk past
Our neighbors in need,
With more mouths
Than they can feed?
How can we neglect
A friend who is sick?
Why is a note or a phone call
So hard to make?
And why do we often
Let fear
Drive our finances?
And our cars, frustration?
Work-places and politics
Driven by vague feelings,
Don’t make for strong nations;
We’re upside-down.
Let’s take the emotion
Out of our honeymoons
And put it
Into our marriages,
Stop over-thinking
Compassion
And basing decisions
On raw passion
There is a place for the heart
To be cautious, and
There are times
For acting on impulse
But ultimately,
Hearts are made to feel
And we think
With our heads;
So let’s stop hanging
Upside-down,
And be right-side-up
Instead.
∞
‘America, America’
Playing in traffic
We gamble with
Our children’s future,
Our own already threatened.
We are adolescent
Thrill-seekers,
Sophomoric in our
Reasoning skills
Unwilling to admit
We might be wrong:
Wrong foreign policy,
Wrong economic policy,
Wrong social policy.
I tremble in the boots
By whose straps
I am supposed to pull myself up
I want off this
Carnival ride
But the crowds keep cheering it on and on,
Until all I can do is pray:
‘America, America’
God spare us from tragedy
Bring home our troops
Bring back our jobs
Bring healthcare to our needy
‘America, America’
God spare us from tragedy
And crown us again
With dignity
‘From sea to shining sea.’
∞
Pandemic
As sickening death
Surrounds
A wanton cry
Resounds:
"Be more! Do more!"
It begs,
Prove that compassion
Is not dead--
A privilege reserved
For the select.
For, in a generation
Whose great iniquity
Is the practice of
Decided-neglect,
The true pandemic
Threat, is Apathy.
∞
Moral Character
How can he hide
From himself
The actions required
Not of ego,
But of self;
That which dislodges hate,
Befuddles the smug,
‘Pulls one over’
On oneself?
Decrying his past,
And hers,
And theirs,
Leaving only to last
A self-centered purpose
At worst,
A purposeless act at best,
Character must thrive
In order to be at rest.
∞
Awkwardness-es
Should’ve known…
The directions
To that party
Were complicated,
And we had heard there
Would be a banquet
But it was just appetizers.
Plus, we stuck out
In our formalwear, with
Everyone else in flip-flops.
Never mind though,
“Meet the host!”
We were told.
But he was preoccupied.
Making the best of it,
Ignoring broken promises,
And looking past
Rescinded-directives,
We kept dancing,
Until feet swollen
And music fading,
The air became stale
As we broke a sweat,
Trying unsuccessfully,
To be gracious guests
While onlookers
Breathed down our necks,
Making it plain
We were not welcome, and
The only question that remained:
Why were we sent an invitation?
∞
Linguistics
A nearby baby cries, my heart’s nerves
Reach out longingly
To console her,
Then retract,
Resuming the practical.
He jumped up
To help an elderly man who’s falling. I’m relieved
Though my own actions got stuck;
Words are caught in,
Bits of dried-lip skin.
An Hispanic
Couple doesn’t dare cross the cop
Who gave them a ticket,
Though it’s obvious
They were not at fault.
She pats
The politician
On his pompous back
For accolades
Received (and only given, it seems) by the vain.
Alas,
My monolingual tongue’s
Great muscle-mass
Made brittle, stiff, is broken, doesn’t speak.
But my multilingual heart rarely fails to listen, see.
∞
Humble Me
Baptize me
In your
Red Sea,
So I may know
What you know,
That I may go
Where you
Go.
Make a way,
Away from the waves
Of humanity’s woes,
That we
Might undergo
A transformation
Of peaceful collaboration,
Admitting over and over again,
That we must drown
Our own hopes and sins,
To ultimately keep each
Other afloat, in this world of waves and deep.
∞
Ocean
Loud and large,
Overwhelming, slapping--
Waves, water
Calm, then clapping.
Find rest by my side
As you listen to the tide;
A reminder of who you are
As I rush near, far.
Rush away, like me--
Keeping ears and eyes open
That you may hear, see.
Don’t vacillate
In my vastness,
But rest
Even in my restlessness.
Then, steadfast and serene
I will lull you to sleep.
∞
Away, Towards the Sun
Turn the plants
Gently away
From
The sun.
They’ll grow up, that way. Be mindful
Also,
Of the water.
Leaning in too closely
Towards the light
Creates
Backache,
Takes away growth,
With its
Weighted focus.
Though, too far away
Into the damp is dangerous,
Where the warmth
Of light is hard to remember
As cool, moist threatens
To set in too far, to recover from.
Turn only gently away then, to grow towards the sun.
∞
I Always Try to Look Up
When feeling downcast,
A museum’s temple exhibit,
With an ornate cathedral ceiling
That I almost missed, is uplifting--
In contrast to the unknowns
Of relics, minds, and bones
That take our attention
Away from the wisdom
Of fellow onlookers,
Whose sage words
Are more relevant
Than that
Of a curator
Or counselor,
In offering gentle advice such
As, “I always try to remember to look up.”
∞
Light and Air
When I sit, content with a
Moment in time, and
All I am is air and light;
A minutiae of universe
Made to briefly help reflect the day or night,
I am wholly
Here with you, but also
At the beginning of things known to me,
And/or anyplace my mind
Chooses to be.
It seems, at once, clear
That we are all not only just somewhere,
But also, here, and also, there,
At that far off destination
When we become light and air.
∞
Exposure
Why, when clouds
Float by above--
Does one see
Butterflies and elephants,
While another
Conjures up cell phone
Towers, guns,
And drones?
Or, are those
The real things
In our modern skies,
Rather than envisionings?
And all this time, I was told--
We emulate that to which we are exposed.
∞
Double Exposure
Smashwords Edition
S. Terrell (2019)