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J. Elk-Baptisté

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2019

J. Elk-Baptisté

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Useless things to pass the time

Are fine like flat stone skimming

Cut and pasting paper shapes

By the artsy named of collage

Then too, there’s folding swans

There’s goat cheese pie and celery dip

And hanging cherries on your ears

There’s a plethora of useless stuff

In case of fire and just for fun

Don’t think twice--break glass and run!

New car-parks are thrilling treats

Lots of ramps and skating bans

There’s a plethora of useless stuff

You’re with your friends—and just for fun

Don’t think twice—break wind and run!

Hey! That’s him!

His pitcher’s on the skinny milk..!

Shh! --it’s rude to point.

Yeah--but see tha’ mother fucker!

Pitcher’s on the skinny milk!


My space

May not be huge it is true

May have to duck down to fit

Knock my head

From time to time

But it’s mine

And I believe it counts

Does to me

My crawlspace … my castle

…you know?

Thinking of it as home

My dust

My spiders

My webs

My detritus

My damp rising

My friends the mice

I would like to invite you ‘round some time

For a wee bit of a crawl … Bonny lassie!

…you know?

Devil’s Flywheel

There was a devil in him somewhere somehow

At first it was hidden

Came a turning then

Something came into the light

Came into the light

Lay down in the light to die

Light shone down!

The Devil’s flywheel turned!

Keep your hands to yourselves!

The wizard warned—and boys!

Watch the devil’s flywheel turn!

Watch the Devil’s flywheel turn!


Cry for, Jane

Cry for, Brian

Cry for, Lamont

Cry for, Princess

Cry for, Jay Dee

Cry for, Graham

Cru for, Phil

Cry for, Ladies

Cry for, Gentlemen

Cry for, Elmore

Cry for, Peggy Summerville

Cry for, God

Cry for, Stars in the sky

Cry for, Tripod (three legged cat--lives next door).

Cry for, Numbers not divisible by three

As an alternative to crying you may choose to pray for any of the above. Go right ahead. Be my guest.

Lie there

Lie back there and think of yourself as a monkey.

You have black fur now.

Your skin is no longer smooth.

In the Summer time your arms are prone to itching.

It is nothing too serious, but you would rather it were not so.

Your small chair is bright red.

Arthur, the keeper, painted it for you.

It is a fine piece of furniture, but you would like a cushion for it.

Arthur is your keeper and a good friend and so the chair has sentimental value.

Arthur put much love into painting it.

How do you know this?

Well, Arthur told you so, when he gave it to you.

You are a chimpanzee, and, along with your new red chair you have a nice pair of

corduroy overalls; they are of an attractive dark blue color, and they go very well with

your short sleeved shirt; the shirt is yellow. It is not too bright a shade of yellow.

You are a primate and you wear shoes and socks. Your socks have red and white stripes.

The stripes of your socks run horizontally. They are not vertical stripes; as those of

a candy cane.

Rest now, Nigel.

Lie still, and we will finish off with playing with your brain.

It will be just fine. Any more discomfort … and it should be over before you

know it.

Will Power

I WILL walk my rooster in the park outside the parliament building if I want to.

This morning I saw a nest of fluff

Looked like the tiniest bird nest

It went ambling down the side of my bed,

Following a crease in the sheet

Looking closer

I saw it had legs

Very thin ones


Similar but not the same as those of a daddy long legs

It looked dangerous, but cute as well.

It’s all quite exciting, but the long and short is this,

I believe I’ve discovered an unknown type of spider!

Now, The question is, how does the average person convince, “them” to name such

thing for the discoverer?

I could advertise the fact of the, Elk-Baptisté spider, having finally been found.

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